


Shattered Ghost King

by anne_20



Series: Vestiges of the Shattered Ghost King [1]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1940s, Alternate Universe - World War II, Complete, Dubcon Kissing, Fluff, M/M, Male Slash, Morse Code, Period-Typical Homophobia, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-22
Updated: 2015-05-17
Packaged: 2018-03-14 12:10:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 44,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3410102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anne_20/pseuds/anne_20
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on Uncle Rick’s characters in an alternate universe: World War II England.<br/>Nico is an injured and presumed catatonic RAF radio operator, known as the Ghost King.  He has been transferred to a hospital in England with little hope of recovery.  William Solace, his nurse, beings to think that he is more cognizant than he seems and strives to help him.  As he unravels the mysteries around Nico he confronts the boy’s demons as well as his own. Can they find something beyond lives shattered by war and lost loved ones?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Unresponsive

**Author's Note:**

> *** All characters are Rick Riordan’s ****

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (William gets a new patient.)

William Solace walked across the garden to get to the hospital.  The flowers were starting to bloom now that it was May.  He loved being able to see early morning sunshine before beginning his 0600 to 1800 nursing shift.  In 1943 in this corner of England the only signs of the ongoing war were the camouflage netting over of hospital roof, blackout curtains in the windows, and of course the hospital full of servicemen with serious injuries.  At 23 He was lucky not to be in active service since he was the sole surviving adult in his family.  He missed them, but he had to be strong for his sisters.

Today he would get a new patient in his ward, critical care.  He was one of the worst types, ‘ _unresponsive_ ’.  He was Lieutenant Nicolas Devan Angle, a 20 year old RAF radio operator.  He was injured three days ago in a crash that killed the rest of the crew.  He had jump out of the bomber before it exploded and was found tangled in a tree.  Damn, he hated seeing all the young men who, although they had survived, would spend the rest of their lives in an institution.  Maybe it was not as bad as it sounded on paper. 

He came in about 10:00 under heavy sedation.  The attendants that brought him called him _‘the Ghost King’_.  Often these unresponsive ones were given cruel nicknames based on their injury, he would not use them since he found it demeaning. Still he wondered about this unique name. William began his usual procedure for new arrival. Now, while he was under heavy sedation, he bathed him and changed his bandages and wrote up a status on all his injuries for the duty doctor to review. 

And sadly, it was worse than he expected.  He had a few abrasions and burns on his face that were healing, conversely the burns on his palms were so bad that he might lose hand function.  Why hadn’t he kept his gloves on? Likely he had used his hands to protect his face.  He would likely always have a limp due to a shrapnel hit to his right thigh and knee.  He had lost his hearing, maybe due to an explosion.  These alone where serious enough but, worst of all, he would never even know what happened to him due to the brain damage from a shrapnel hit to his head.

He checked on him often.  He waited as long as possible before the next morphine injection, just to see what his ‘ _awake_ ’ state was like.  Unfortunately the only changes were open eyes, a faster heartbeat, and slightly shallower breathing.  Those large brown eyes were blank and haunt, and they did not seemed to see anything around him.  He almost thought he might be blind too, but he could see the abrasions that represented the outline of his goggles, so he could see at least physically.  Maybe his brain damage had effect his vision.  As the next dose took hold he saw his eyes close and he hoped Nicolas Angle could find peace in sleep. 

~***~

Four hours later he was shaken by a pitiful shrill wailing from Nicolas.

“NO…  PLEASE…  COME OUT… THIS WAY…” 

William hesitated slightly to keep from grabbing his hands.  Instead he put his hand on his upper chest, just under the neckline of his gown. He began to rub in slow smooth circles as he morosely noticed the silky texture of his pale skin. He was so broken for someone who should be as unblemished as his chest. 

Then Nicolas’ voice became a low desperate whisper, “Not him… not another one… they are all gone… I want to be the ghost… take me instead…” 

After that he was quiet as William despondently kept rubbing his chest.  William thought pessimistically, so that was why he was known as ‘ _the Ghost King’_. 

~***~

Over the next couple days he completely read through his file.  Nicolas Angle had no living family and had been the only survivor on his last mission. Altogether he had flown 28 mission with 3 different crews.  It became clear as he read the medical record that he was all but written-off for recovery. Usually the reports were careful to be noncommittal this soon after the injury, but he had given no response to any stimulus. His only reactions were in his dream state.  

He also began to notice Nicolas had been incredibly handsome with his olive skin, delicate features, and velvety soft dark hair.  Why were the cute ones always the worst injuries?  As he spent more time with him he noticed small details such as his lack of chest hair that made him guessed he was actually only about 16 or 17, instead of 20 from his records.  He had seen it before. Hell, he was one of those faking an older age, but for a very different reason.  It made William miserable to see this boy’s life blunted until it was only breathing, existing, without hope.

~***~

On his third day in ward he was again jolted in to action by a loud piteous cry from Nicolas.

“… They are all gone… let me go…Get out, plea…”

William put his hand on his chest and the screams stopped instantly. After a few slow circles his eyes shot wide open.  He was shocked at how shattered and haunted his dark eyes looked.  Looking into those eyes he could see death staring out of them.  He had to have had death around him with his family gone and the high RAF fatality rate. He knew how close these RAF crews would get and Nicolas had gone through three crews. It was easy to see why he had nightmares. 

He wanted to reach him, at least let him know the war was over for him.  He was not sure why he felt the need to contact him so strongly.  Sometimes the damage is just too much and he had to accept it and move on.  Usually he could separate himself enough emotionally to focus what he could do as a nurse. This time he was struggling to accept what the records said. 

His thoughts swirled around. _I know my duty and I should move on.  I know he is young, but whatever else he was is gone.  Just like my parents and my brothers.  He should be treated just like all my patients.  Respectfully, carefully, gently, but kept at a distance._

_But, he is just so beautiful, and young, and his skin feels so…._

_Oh my God! …_

_He stopped screaming when I touched him! …_

_That means he knew I was there…_

_He is in there after all…_

_And he’s all alone…_


	2. Humbling Vocabulary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Now that William knows Nico his lucid he needs to communicate with him. He ponders how to contact him when he is effectively blind and deaf.)

William could not get his thoughts to focus on anything other than the dilemma of contacting Nicolas. Speaking was such a simple thing, he had never thought it would be so hard to get a few words across. He considered Helen Keller; she had letters spelled into her palm. That would not work with his burns, the only option he had was to spell letters onto his arm or chest. He tried it on himself, but he knew what he was spelling.

He was still awake when the air raid sirens sounded at about 2:00.  He collected his sisters, Katie, Ellen and Lucy together and took them from the modest three bedroom flat to the basement shelter.  Lucy, at eight was the youngest and she always was skittish.  She sat on his lap, but it was still shivering from the spooky rustling of those nearby and the eerie shadows from the single oil lamp.  To distract her William tried out his idea for communication.  She wrote letters on his arm and he has to guess the letters and words. It was a bust, he only could figure out about half the letters.  Lucy was bored and it would never work on Nicolas. Katie and Ellen softly sang to Lucy.  William was tone deaf so he spent the rest of the air raid tapping his fingers pensively on his knee.  After about an hour they got the all clear. He returned to bed and got a few hours restless sleep before waking for his next shift. 

~***~

In the morning he went over Nicolas Angle’s file again looking for any information that might help.  He was a radio operator that meant he knew codes for transmitting information.  And he knew another radio operator in the amputee ward.  He spent his lunch break with Jake Mason and after some small talk he gets to his real agenda.

“Jake, I have a case that is troubling me. I could use your advice.” He started.

“My medical knowledge is zip William, but I’ll try.” Jake replied.

“It is not about medicine, I need to know some radio operator codes.” He says.

“What are you thinking? You know I could never tell you about any military codes.” Jake answered doubtfully.

William frowned in confusion, “Oh, you have the wrong idea. I’m not thinking about cyphers. Let me explain and you’ll see what I mean.”

“Alight, I’ll listen” He said suspiciously.

“See I have an ‘unresponsive’ patient with likely brain damage.  He cannot hear or see and his hands are burned.  So far he has not responded to any stimulus. Yesterday, when he was scream from a nightmare, I put my hand on his chest and he stop instantly.  I think he is in there but unable to communicate. He was an RAF radio operator, so I hoped you could teach me how to make signals or codes that he would understand.” The blonde explained.

“Oh, you mean Morse code.  That I can teach you.” Jake said with relief.

Jake explained Morse code, wrote out an alphabet for him, and they worked on a message.  William emphasized that he would be extremely disoriented due to the head injury. Jake suggested a simple message for the first one: just acknowledging his first name, probably Nick.

William was late returning from lunch and earn a week on night shift as punishment.  He tried to stay off night shift, but at sixteen Katie was old enough to take care of the younger girls for a week.  It would be worth it if he could get through to Nick.

~***~

That afternoon he was excited to try his message.  It was almost time for more sedation, so he tried his message.  He decided to tap on his chest, after all that was the spot where he had responded before.  He carefully tap with his finger in a slow rhythm.

 **··− ·−·  −· ·· −·−· −·−  −·−·** /Are You Nick Copy/ 

Nicholas was still with blank open eyes.  The nurse watched carefully but saw no response even after five tries. 

At the appointed time he gave him morphine and soon he would have to clean his burns.  Unfortunately the burn treatment was painful.  As he cleaned his burns he thought: _Why did he have his gloves off? And even worst why did the idiot hold his hands palm out? And why were his hands so bad when his face was relatively unscathed?_

As he took a closer look at his left hand he saw the impression of a zipper burned into it.  _How in the hell?_ Next he examined the right hand and saw the impression of an insignia; a pilot’s insignia. _He was trying to save the pilot when he was burned! Fucking hell, the man must have been on fire._ This boy was a hero. 

~***~

That evening to practice Morse code, he made it into a game with Lucy.  He started with her name. He work out the code and then tapped it out on her arm.  She had to tell him the letters.  He learned that he was going too fast and that his timing was erratic.  Katie found him a metronome and he improved quickly. Soon Lucy was asking for more puzzles.  He copied out the letter chart for her and had her guess what simple words he tapped out. Once Ellen heard it was a real radio operators’ code, the ever serious twelve year old, joined in the game. By the next day he was confidence that he could at least get the code crisp enough that Nicolas would recognize it.

~***~

The next day he had to wait for Nicholas’ awake time to try again. He started earlier to allow an hour before he needed medicate him. He set-up the metronome carefully. Nicolas’ eyes were still closed, but he started anyway.  He tapped out his message more hopefully this time. 

 **··− ·−·  −· ·· −·−· −·−  −·−·** /Are You Nick Copy?/ 

He replayed the messaged over and over again. Slowly he noticed Nick’s heartbeat quicken and his breath becoming more shallow.  He did not open his eyes, but a crease appeared in his forehead and his body was sprung with tension. William was excited to see these signs. After each messages he would stopped tapping and spread his hand wide over Nico’s chest. He watched closely looking for a movement anywhere that could be interpreted as Morse code. Again, over and over he replayed the message and paused.  

After he had almost given up, Nick opened his mouth and he let out a raspy very quietly, “N-Nico. My name is Nico.”

William was absolutely stunned. He could talk! Moreover he was lucid! He whooped in delight. It took him a few minutes for him to notice Nico was still talking and he leaned down. 

A horse whisper reached him, “… vivors? … Any other survivors? … Any other survivors?”

William’s heart sank. He did not ask ‘what happened?’ or ‘where am I?’ like his best case scenario. No random gibberish came out, still what he would have called a good scenario. No, he asked after his crew.  He was far too alert for a major head injury. His gut wretched as he spelled it out. 

 **−· −−−** /No/

After that the tension in Nico’s body and other signs of awareness disappeared.  His face went blank and he became as limp as when had he arrived. Nico now knew his attempt to save the pilot had failed. William disconsolately gave him his morphine and hoped it would ease his grief.  He continued to rub slow circles in Nico’s chest long after his deep breathing had assured him that the boy had fallen asleep.

William mused on his next move as he carefully treated Nico’s hands.  He had gone beyond his own disorientation to ask about his crew. He was not just lucid, but alert mentally.  This was far beyond what was normal for first waking from any major injury. He was sure that Nico had been ‘ _awake_ ’ many times since his injury several days ago. He mused, _how horrible would it be to be imprisoned with only your own thoughts?  How long had he been trapped? And more importantly what could I do to release him?_


	3. Thunderous Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Nico has stop responding to William’s Morse code and as an unresponsive he will likely be removed from his ward. What is he going to do?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /text/ refers to Morse code  
> Italic refers to thoughts

William continued to code speak with Nico at least three times a day, even though it was becoming increasingly frustrating. He started by introducing himself and asked what he wanted to know. He received no response. He carefully checked his spelling and slowed the message next time.  Still no response, well, only the standard slight sigh and the ease of Nico’s tension whenever he was touching him. He was disappointed, but determined.

The next day he decided on a more description message and gave Nico a summary of his injuries and told him it has been ten days.  William was equally disappointed at the lack of response, but it was at least somewhat expected after yesterday. 

~***~

During his break he went to speak to the lead physician, Dr. Chiron. William very much liked Dr. Chiron; although stern, he had a generous nature that made him approachable.  The older man smiled at him and welcomed him warmly, but also indicated with a keen look that William needed to make this quick.

“Sir, I have been working closely with an RAF radio operator, Nicolas Angle.  He came in a week ago as an ‘unresponsive’. From my observations I believe that he has become responsive and I respectfully request another evaluation.”  Will explained and handed him Nico’s file.  He took a seat in front of his desk at a hand gesture from the major.

The doctor carefully reviewed the file for several long minutes as William struggled not to tap code with his fingers on the arm of the chair. “William, what objective evidence do you have that he is cognizant?” He asked.

“Well I suspected it when I was able to sooth him during a nightmare.  He was screaming and I rubbed my hand on his upper chest.  As soon as I started he stopped screaming and became calmer.  It has been the same every time since.” Will ended his explanation.  He had considered telling about the Morse code, but decided against it since he could not get any further response.  It would likely injure his credibility, instead of securing an ally.

Dr. Chiron frowned, “That is not what I would consider decisive evidence William.” He looked at the charts, “His last evaluation was before his arrival, 8 days ago and just 2 days after his injury.  He’ll need periodic evaluations before his case can be closed anyway.  I’ll tell you what.  I’ll recommend an evaluation in 14 days and further I’ll asked that you be allowed to testify and, possibly, demonstrated what you have observed.”

“Sir, Thank you,” William said excitedly.

Gravely he continued, “You should also know this William. Once his evaluation is completed he may be sent to the mental ward for injured soldiers. He cannot stay in your ward if he will not recover his mental abilities.”

He was stunned because the man he knew could not be so callous. “Sir, you can’t, not so soon. His other injuries are stable, but his hands required constant attention.” The nurse pleaded.   

He seemed to soften and looked at the file again, “Hum, I see…  Alright, I’ll give him a full 28 days in your ward until the decision for the mental ward is made.” He said as he made a note in the file.

“Sir, Thank you. I appreciate your taking the time to see me.” He said, thankful for the additional time, but his lack of regard for the injured man still stung. He realized that he had to succeed or else.  The mental ward was known for using electroshock therapy. If Nico was as lucid as he thought he was electroshock would be incredibly destructive. It would turn him into what they already thought he was.  Every day, every hour of unresponsiveness was a strike against that handsome young man.

~***~

William tried even more desperately to contact Nico the next day, but still he had no luck.  He dearly needed to talk about what was happening, but any fellow nurses or doctors would likely laugh at him or worse recommend he be taken off as Angle’s nurse.  He decided that he only trusted Jake and went to talk to him after his shift. 

William took Jake for a stroll the garden.  He had lost his left leg from the knee down and so was glad to have a friend to wheel him around.  First the nurse made Jake promise to not tell anyone else before he told him all the details of the past few days. He was grateful for Jake’s easy acceptance of his story.

“So, after the first response you told him his crew was all dead. Now he has stopped talking. Yet, you have to get him talking in the next 18 days or else he get his brains scrambled for real.” Jake summarized.

“Yes, don’t forgot the part where he’s a hero for trying to save the pilot.” The blonde added morosely.

“Hum, it seems like Nick is depressed over that death.” He mused.

“It’s Nico.” William corrected.

“Yeah, Nico, whatever.  I wonder if it could be depression instead of something to do his injuries. Regardless, the more you know about his personality and motives the better. It sounds like he was close to this pilot, so you should find out more about him, too.”  Jake pondered.

“That seems like a good idea, but where do I start?” Will demanded in frustration.

“If we go to the air field I can ask around. I do have leave allowed, but have not used it.” William knew he had no family. “If you can you spring me for a day we can dig around.”

“Really, I thought you were leaving the hospital soon?” He asked.

“Yeah, maybe, I want to work as a ground based radio operator.  The problem is finding a place to live that can handle my unique needs.” Jake lamented.

“Hum, I’ll check around.  A lot of nurses take in soldiers.”

“Thanks, buddy. I knew there was a reason I put up with you.”

“It isn’t my handsome good looks?” William smiled.

“No, you are definitely not my type.” He laughed without any awkwardness.  The blonde really appreciated that Jake was not judgmental.  It was a rare thing in English society.

“I have the day after tomorrow off and I think I can get a ride with an ambulance. Can you put in a request for time off?”

“Yeah, I’ll get it done tonight.” He answered, “And William, don’t worry. I’m good at digging up information.” William clapped Jake’s shoulder and thanked him profusely. 

That evening he asked Katie about letting an injured soldier be a boarder with them. Previously he had been reluctant to house a soldier with only his sisters at home most of the time. Jake he trusted, but his care would likely fall to Katie most of the time. She was eager to help support the family, especially after all William had sacrificed to keep them together the past five years.

~***~

The next day he took a different tactic with Nico. He decided to give him the straight scoop, if he had to.  Scaring him maybe the only way to get him to talk.

He started with pleading. 

/Nico, I’m trying to help you.  Please talk to me/

Still no response. He moved to telling him he would be gone.

/I will be gone tomorrow, but know that I will be back the next day/

Still no response. Now on to the bad news.

/I’m trying to help you, but you have to start talking.  You have to convince them you are in there.  If not you will be moved to a mental ward/

Still no response. He sighed and preceded to give Nico his painkillers in preparation for cleaning his burns. 

About an hour later as he had uncovered his right hand he noticed his right index finger twitching.  _That is unusual._ Then a few seconds later he realized, _it looks like a pattern. Quick-quick-quick-slow-slow-slow-quick-quick-quick-Pause._ In a flash William recognized it as Morse code for SOS.  He hurried to reassure him patient.

/Copy, I promise I won’t give up on you, Nico/

After three repeats Nico’s finger stopped twitching and William resumed his task. He ended his day waffling between thinking that he might have been understood and dejection that Nico seemed unable to answer his previous queries.  _What was going on with Nico that he could not speak anymore?_

 


	4. Hidden Talents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (William and Jake go on a fact finding mission. The name of the pilot is revealed as are other pertinent details.)

* * *

The next day William and Jake caught a 0600 ride with an ambulance crew stationed at the air field.  William usually thought of himself as outgoing, but Jake was in whole other league. He really shouldn’t be so surprised, after all he had William telling him his life story and that he was queer after about the first week he nursed him. Of course he never told him his deepest secret.  Jake started with the ambulance crew sling slang so thick that William only knew one out of every ten words. Slang was discouraged in the hospital so he never learned much.

Once they arrived at the air field they checked in with the duty clerk. Jake was here to request a radio operator position.  His had an appointment with the lead radio operator at 0900 and commander at 1400.  Soon he was in deep conversation with clerk. This conversation was better, it was only about half slang. Jake casually pointed a thumb at William and said, “My Bedpan Commando here is looking after a fly boy from a kite crash. Do you know Nico Angle?”

“Him, yeah,” Said the clerk with an odd mix of wariness and grimness. “He was a damn good dit jockey, but not exactly one of the mates. I heard he was a basket case. It would have been better if he bought the farm like the rest.”

Basket case was one slang term William knew; it meant either losing all limbs, a sustained coma, or permanently unresponsive. A fierce determination flowed through him at the thought of this man so casually writing him off. He took a breath to regain his calm and answered as casually as possible. “He might be, but I have some hope for him.” He could sense the clerk was uneasy about Nico and he wondered why.

“Well, I can get you his pin-ups.” The clerk replied as he turned back to his work.

“Thanks we’ll bring them to him.” Jake answered.  As they started to leave he told Will pin-ups were slang for personal items.

~***~

Soon it became routine to be referred to as he Jake’s Bedpan Commando, slang for medical corps, and it felt like they had talked to a least half the base. William had soon become desensitized to the negative attitude about Nico and bored trying to follow slang heavy conversations.  After lunch in the Mess Jake took him to the mechanics shop. There he asked for Leo Valdez, a smirking short skinny man, maybe an Italian, who was able to take a break to talk with them.

Jake began, “William here is treating Nico Angle and he is in bad shape. It will help him recover if we can learn more about him and his crew.  Can you help us?”

Leo looked stunned for a moment, “I heard he was terminal. You think he can recover?” Leo asked hopefully.  William already liked him when he didn’t use the usual slang ‘basket case’ to refer to Nico. 

“I’m sorry to tell you, his injuries are severe. He has severely burned hands, a leg injury, hearing loss, but the head injury is the worse. He can speak, well at least call out in his sleep and appears unable to see.  We cannot communicate with him. ” Leo gasped and covered his mouth in horror.

William rushed on in an effort to assure his friend, “I still hope to reach him.  I’ve been using Morse code to contact. I only had one response and he asked about his crew. Now I can’t get a response. I hope some personal information might help me reach him.”

“You’re his doctor? Are you a child protégé or something?” He asked doubtfully.

“No, I’m just a nurse.” William admitted. “I’m the only one that believes he is alert. I have to convince the doctors before they write him off completely.”

“You really think he can be recover?” Leo asked anxiously.

“Yes, his first question was about his crew. Not where am I? Or what happened? Nobody with permanent brain damage is that alert. He is just having trouble communication and possibly wanting to talk since he learned they did not survive.” William answered with as much assurance as he could manage.

“Alright, I’ll help you as much as I can. I’ve known Nico since he’s been stationed here, about two years.  He is hard to get to know and even harder to like, but he is fiercely loyal and grimly determined. He actually flew a damage kite, um bomber, in for a landing one mission.” Leo smiled at the thought, “Jason Grace was his pilot and his best friend.  His loss is would deeply affect him.”

“I was afraid of something like that.” William responded thinking of Nico’s burned hand from trying to save him. “Can you recall something Jason might have said to him that would help me reach him?” 

“I only know that Jason would not want him to give up just because he was gone. He would tell him to fight like the vile bastard he knew him to be,” that drew a sad smile from Leo, “Also, I think you need to talk to Piper.”

“Who is Piper?” William asked.

“Jason’s widow. She is still here working as a radio operator.” Leo replied.

“Wouldn’t it be tactless to talk to her, so soon after losing Jason?” William lamented.

“Nah, she cares about Nico, too. If anyone could talk to him she can. She has a gift.” Leo confirmed.

“I think it would help him to hear from you.” The nurse hoped renewing their friendship would help.

“Sure, come back after my shift for a letter. Can you write me and let me know how he is. He is too fine a dit boy to lose.” Leo looked solemn and William got the feeling being serious showed how important this was to him. He seemed more like the joker type.

“I’d be glad to keep you informed.” He affirmed. 

~***~

Right after Jake’s visit with the commander the clerk handed William a small duffle bag. “What is this?”

“It is Nico Angle’s gear and his few personal items. I try to get those back to the crewman, but it didn’t seem like he’d know.”  The clerk explained.

They had about two hours before another ambulance crew was due to return to their hospital. It was time to visit Piper Grace. She was a stunning beauty with tanned skin, dark straight hair, and keen multi-colored eyes.

After they explained the situation she was astounded, “Nico? Really can it be that he is able to recover? I thought they were all gone. Oh, the poor boy, first Percy, now Jason.”

“Who is Percy?” William asked.

“He was Nico’s closest friend ever.  He was his instructor when he joined in Canada.  They were so close.  Nico was on his crew when only he, Percy and Luke survived a mission.  Then Percy passed away two days later.  It was devastatingly for him.” She stopped talking seemingly caught up in her own tragedy as well as Nico’s.

“I’m sorry, I know this is hard to talk about now. Just, I don’t want this to be the end for Nico. Can you help us to reach him?” William asked with his unique ability to convey sincere compassion. 

She looked up, took a shaky breath and nodded.  Then her sad face turned stoic and she gritted her teeth. “I need to visit him. I know I can reach him. Besides I have a letter from Jason to deliver. He left it with me in case he… could not… say goodbye.”

William was quick to offer, “I can deliver it to him.”

She was adamant, “No! It has to be me. It-it is too personal for anyone else.”

“When can you visit? He needs to respond as soon as possible,” He warned.

“It’ll take about a week to get my shift covered and get clearance.”

“Please, make it five days if you can.  Can you give me something to take with me? Maybe something just from you?”

“Yeah, that is a good idea. Can you wait?” She had a slight sparkle of hope in her multi-colored eyes.

“We are leaving at 1600. We’ll stop by before we leave.” Jake answered.

~***~

After they returned to the hospital and Jake was comfortable situated they started to compare notes.

“So, what do you think William?” Jake asked as William pulled up a chair.

“It sounds like he is depressed, but I can’t rule out complications for his lack of response. He sounds hard to get to know even before the injuries.” William mused.

“Yeah that was my read too. Also, I think Piper was hiding something from us.” Jake was smiling like the Cheshire cat.

“What do you mean?” He asked wondering what in the world Jake meant that would make him smile.

“Reading between Pipers words it sounds like Percy was more than a friend. I think you found a fellow queer.” Now Jake was practically laughing at the shocked look on William’s face.

“No!” He was stunned.

“Yeah, it also seems that Leo knows it too. When we got the note from him, I mentioned Percy’s name and he gave me a strange look.” Jake smirked.

“What? How in the hell can you tell that?” William asked astounded.

“Look, I just can read people, just like Leo can read engines. I don’t know how, but you can trust me.”

“Is he, too?” William asked curiously.

“He is harder to predict. Maybe he is just a two beer queer. Oh sorry I mean easy when he’s drunk” Jake corrected.

“What about Jason?” William could not believe this.

“Definitely not. In a way I think that is why they were close friends.”

“Wow, remind me to ask you to interview prospective dates for me.”

“I am so not going there.” Jake laughed.

William’s mind was spinning with revelations as he reported for his first night shift of the week. At least he had some personnel information to work with. Almost too much, truth be told.  It was going to be a long night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Slang Dictionary~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 
> Bedpan Commando - Medical corpsman
> 
> Basket Case – permanently unresponsive, losing all limbs, or a sustained coma
> 
> Bought the farm - Killed or missing
> 
> Dit Jockey – Radio Operator
> 
> Fly Boy – Aircrew/Pilot
> 
> Kite - Aircraft
> 
> Mess - Cafeteria
> 
> Pin-ups – Personal belongings
> 
> Two Beer Queer - A man who can't handle his liquor. Implies that he's ready to perform homosexual favors after his second beer.
> 
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End Dictionary~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	5. Sweet Fannie Adams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (The story from Nico POV from the start through William’s day off. The title will be explained in the text and end notes.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /text/ refers to Morse code  
>  _Italic _refers to thoughts__  
>  Slang and other language translation are provided in the text. Please forgive any errors, I'm relying on the internet for the translations.

* * *

Time had no meaning. All he knew was excruciating unbearable pain and an acrid burnt smell filling his nostrils, his mind, and his soul until nothing else was left. He supposed this was what burning in hell for all eternity meant.

After an indeterminate time he accepted that he was alive, death could not be this agonizing painful. Yet it had lessened, but it still flared through his arms in torment beyond endurance. He mentally pushed his arms away from his body, trying to make it a ghost pain. Then his mind began to clear and he began to notice other things. He was lying on a bed, the back of his head was throbbing, his ears were buzzing, and his right knee was aching. He tried to open his eyes and it felt like white hot heat searing his brain.

He concluded this must be a coma and that this fucking coma was cruel. All he could do was feel and remember.  He tried to remember the time before the pain.  He caught an echo of laughter, maybe Leo and Jason.  Then something washed over him and he was floating away.  He felt the pain as a distant echo. 

That was when his most painful memories came to haunt him:

-       He was in the Halibag yelling at Jason ‘COME OUT! THIS WAY!’

-       Percy spit blood as he told him ‘You need to land the bus’ while Nico tried to hold his back the warm wet blood that looked black where it seeped through the front of his bomber jacket.

-       He held his sister’s frail hand and stared into her beautiful eyes, just like their mothers, as they turned empty, cold, and dead.

-       He was falling backwards out the open hatch holding a blackened Jason tightly. 

-       He cried as his mother hugged him good bye before he and Bianca boarded the boat for Canada.

-       He sat at Percy’s bedside while he slow and desperately stained to get his last words past his lips. His last words echoed, ‘don’t cry…. angelo mio…. be a B-poh…. fight…heal and…. love again’.  He stayed bowed waiting for more as Percy’s last breath left him in a hiss.  He cried silent hot tears while his heart and soul became interminably cold.

-       As he was desperately straining to reaching the rip cord Jason said ‘my agigau, tohidu’ which he knew was a secret message for Piper. Then seconds later the world exploded _._

From his nightmarish memories he screamed.  He screamed an angry diatribe of whys, pleas, and commands to them all, but couldn’t hear them. So he screamed louder tearing the words from his throat.

~***~

His life became agonizing physical pain and mental anguish that alternating between memories and nightmares flowing through his mind. The images came again and again until he was sure of he had survived only to live in this coma limbo torture forever.

Slowly he recalled his last moments of reality.  They had finished the mission and were almost home when the bandits found them. Jason was able to keep the bus going over the channel even though it was already a flamer. They were the only uninjured crewman.  Nico had finished pushing the injured: John, Vincent, Butch and Mike, out of the bus when he yelled to Jason.  Then he came back to find Jason on fire.  He grabbed him and fell out the hatch with him.  He was holding Jason as he pulled the rip cord just before the Halibag exploded in front of him.

Then Sweet Fannie Adams and the unending agonizing pain. He hoped they had survived. He hoped Jason was not too burnt to survived and he was not just in a coma limbo, like him.  Sometimes he vaguely wondered how he had become so wounded, but all he really wanted to know was who had survived.  

~***~

Then some infinite time later everything transformed.  It felt like he had always lived in the dark and this was his first time ever feeling the gentle warmth of the sun.

It was during one of his weakest moments, a nightmare in which the death of each of those he loved most was replayed in weirdly distorted images using too bright colors, just like Snow White.  Meanwhile he begged to trade places with each one of them. The skeletal grim reaper laughed from deep inside his black cloak rippling with dammed souls silently screaming. 

-       He begged for his father writhing as he swung, choking, and twisting slowly as he was hanged. 

-       He begged for Jason as he burned away like a long drag on a cigarette turning him into a pillar of ash.

-       He begged for Bianca who slowly disintegrated like a sand castle blown away by the wind. 

-       He begged for his mother as faceless black shirts hauled her limp bloody body away leaving a thick deep red river over the beige colored rug of his childhood home.

-       He begged for Percy who’s chest spurted blood as Nico tried to staunch the ever increasing number of wounds. Percy’s most tender smile shone up at him, as his chest slowly deflated, and he left him with a hissing last breath.  

Then it happened.  It starting at his chest, a healing warmth expanded through him. His very first memory exploded to life and brought him tranquility for the first time since the coma started.

It was his beautiful dear mother holding him snuggly rocking him and protecting him from the world. As an angry three year old he had hit the cast iron stove burning his hand. She said, “Angioletto di mamma. Allontanare il dolore atroce.” Her love flowed through him and kept him calm. And he was able to push away the pain.

Ever after, when he missed her, he rubbed the scar on the flat pinky side of his right hand.  He remember the sensation of touching it and soon fell asleep, escaping with dreams of blissful loving warmth. 

~***~

From then on daytime was when the sun’s touch warmed him and night was cold hard pain.  With the return of time he knew this could not be in a coma.  He comprehended that he could not hear and his eyes hurt in the light. He tried to open his eyes in the dark, but he could only see blurry grey blobs.  He could only feel his pain, his past, and medics tending him. He slowly understood that the pain was what was remained of his hands. They were agony, but they were there. Usually it was just a deep piercing pain. Sometimes it was like his finger bones were exploding and tearing his flesh away when the medic was bending and cleaning them.

With the knowledge that he was awake, came the loneliness. The irony was that he had thought he didn’t need anyone. He had always been a loner, he hardly ever spoke to anyone, and he hated being touched. He could usually frighten away anyone coming near him away with no more than a glare. Now he craved the sunny touch on his chest and he dearly wanted to be able to talk again to anyone. He repeated in his mind, _I’m here, my name is Nico._

Again the warm hand and this time it spoke in Morse code.  He eagerly tried his voice, “N-Nico. My name is Nico.” Inside he was giddy with anticipation and then relief when he got the ‘copy’ reply. He continued, “Any other survivors? … Any other survivors? … Any other survivors? … Any other survivors?”

If felt like an ice knife stabbed him when the hand answered “No.” 

_NO! NOT HIM! I had failed. I wanted to be next.  Now I was alive, stuck in a silent sweet fuck all limbo. And Jason, the golden boy everyone loved, was gone._

A wall of blackness wrapped him in its embrace. The hand still spoke, but he didn’t even try to decipher the code. It didn’t matter anymore.  Still later he found himself subconsciously translating and the knowledge seeped into his mind.

Finally the salient part of the conversation made its way into consciousness mind. _‘You have to convince them you are in there. If not you will be moved to a mental ward.’_ He thought of endless silent limbo and electric shock.  Then some under lying part of him rebelled and signed SOS automatically with his index finger, until Will replied.

He knew the suns name was Will and his apathy was gone. Only he was alone again, Will was gone for the day. As he waited he recognized he craved having Will as friend.  He wanted to know all about this man who had reached out to him. How did he even know he could reach him?  Why was he the only one?  Why did he keep trying so hard when he stopped responding? The time waiting was incredibly long and pitilessly cold. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Italian Dictionary~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
> angelo mio – My angel  
> Angioletto di mamma – Mommy’s little angel  
> Allontanare il dolore atroce – Push away the (intense) pain  
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Cherokee Dictionary~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
> Agigau - Beloved  
> Tohidu - Good peace (state of body, mind and spirit)  
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Slang Dictionary~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
> Bandit – Enemy Aircraft  
> Bus – Aircraft  
> Flamer – Aircraft on fire  
> Halibag - Handley Page Halifax bomber  
> Sweet Fannie Adams – meaning nothing, or "sweet fuck all”  
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End Dictionary~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 
> So, I had entirely too much fun with the WWII slang and I came across this phrase that fit perfectly for the title: Sweet Fannie Adams – meaning nothing, or "sweet fuck all.” 
> 
> I know I did not define BPOH. It is my special term for Nico and it will be explained in the next chapter.
> 
> The movie Snow White was quite a phenomena in its day. Everyone saw it much like Star Wars, four decades later. It was widely released to Europe and Canada in 1938. 
> 
> Special thanks to Morgan and Sorceress_Supreme for your ideas. And thanks for all your comments.
> 
> Anne


	6. Melody at Midnight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (William gets help with Nico from an unlikely source during his first night shift. Will Nico respond this time?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /text/ refers to Morse code  
> Italic refers to thoughts

* * *

William mind was reeling from all the information he learned yesterday.  Nico was generally taciturn, antagonistic, and introverted as evident from the general dislike. Conversely, the few friends he had appeared steadfast and even protective of him. And, according to Jake, he was a homosexual. That would tend to make him withdraw even more from others. Worst yet apparently he had been involve with and possibly in love, this Percy. He knew he had lost all his family and was alone by the time he became a radio operator. And now his remaining best friend was gone; no wonder he was so closed off. He felt a cold determination to befriend Nico. He told himself: _I just can identify with him._ _I‘ve also lost much of my family and I often get the cold shoulder for being queer. It has nothing to with his velvety soft skin and dark handsome features._

William mentally shook himself and refocused on his top priority, ending Nico’s silence.  The possible causes were depression or brain damage or both.  He hoped it was depression, since that was something he could treat.  Conversely, the possibility of brain damage loomed heavy in his mind.  He decided take a chance and talk to the doctor on night duty. He was an older man in his 50s with his speckled gray hair trimmed short, a kindly smile, and light brown eyes. 

He was no Jake Mason, but William did his best to get him talking and asked in a general way about recovery from brain injuries.  Dr. Quintus was refreshingly optimistic.  William suspected it was due to his years in practice before the war.  The young ones who knew only war became jaded far too quickly. 

Dr. Quintus explained, “William, the thing to remember is brain damage affects everyone differently.  The key is communication with the patient. The more ways you can communicate the better.  If you can exploit existing pathways or memories, then you have a better chance of reaching the patient.  So, visitors, memories, and even familiar smells or touches can work wonders for a brain damaged patient.  Also, once some pathways are formed the brain has the power to heal itself by creating new paths around damaged areas. Maybe that is why electroshock works in so many cases, but I’m against how it is being used as a cure all these days.”

William’s heart leapt at his explanation and viewpoint.  He decide that he could tell him about Nico. “Can I speak openly to you doctor?”

“Of course William,” He answered with shrewd smile on his face.

“I’m trying to get a patient to respond.  I think you’ve already guessed that much.” The doctor nodded. “He has some physical difficulties that make it hard to communicate with him already, but I have reason to believe he is lucid.  And I think he is depressed over the loss of his crew.”  

“Hum… I’m glad you approached me. If anyone would see the signs it would be you. You work more closely with your patients than the doctors, so do not doubt you instincts.” Assured Dr. Quintus. 

William launched into a summary of his dealings with Nico. He asked several questions for clarification. Then Dr. Quintus dismissed him so he could go over Angle’s file and William made his rounds.

~***~

When he approached Nico about 90 minutes later, the doctor was sitting at his bedside, but he stood up quickly blocking his access to the patient. 

“Wait, I want to see his if he has any reaction to your presence.” He commanded before sitting again and gesturing him to begin.

William started by slowly slipping his hand past the neckline of Nico’s gown onto his bare sternum with an open hand, just like always.  Immediately the patient’s body that had been rigid with short breaths, relaxed and his breathing seemed to ease.

William explained, “I’m tapping out a message in Morse code telling him I’m here and I’ll start with his dressings.  I usually repeat three times, just to be sure.” The doctor nodded and he lifted his hand to start his Morse code messages. Afterwards William preceded to redress his wounds.

William pause and spoke to Dr. Quintus, as he placed his hand on Nico’s chest again, “This is the time, before he receives his next dose of morphine, when I usually try to contact him.  Surprisingly, he seems to respond better when his eyes are closed, so I take it as a good sign they are closed now. Then I give him morphine and wait an hour before cleaning his burns. Shall I precede, or do you want to talk about a message?”

“Hum… He definitely reacts positively to your presence. You said one time he spoke and another he twitched his finger.  Can you unwrap his bandages enough to see his finger should it twitch?  Also, I suggest asking him to repeat words he has said before.  Sometimes forming new words is much harder than familiar patterns.”

William complied and unwrapped part of his right hand. Then as an afterthought the doctor asked him to uncover his feet.

“Why?” He asked nonplused.

“If he can twitch his finger, maybe he can wiggle his toes instead. That would likely be less painful.” Dr. Quintus explained.

/Nico, please say your name. Say Nico/ William signaled three times before holding his hand flat on the boy’s chest.

They waited and a quiet raspy “Ni..Nico” was heard.  William let go of a breath he hadn’t know he was holding and the fingers of his open hand dug into Nico’s chest.

/Copy, Good, Now try to code it with your finger/

And Nico did. William was beaming in joy at him.

/Copy, Good, Now try to code it with your big toe/

This time his response was a little stilted, but clear.

/Copy, Good, Now use whatever method is easiest to answer, ‘copy’/

This time Nico’s toes wiggled out the answer /copy/

The blonde laughed and smiled at the doctor.  Dr. Quintus did not comment, but merely transitioned to asking specific simple questions.  He asked William to translate the replies as he recorded them in his notebook.

William /Can you see?/

Nico /No, blurry, light hurts/

William /Can you hear?/

Nico /Buzzing only/

William /What is your air crew position?/

Nico /Radio operator/

William /When were you born?/

Nico /Jan. 28, 1925/ The blonde frowned and corrected the answer before he relayed it.

William /Where are you?/

Nico /Hospital, England/

William /Do you know who I am?/

Nico /friend, Will/ 

At his response William felt a flutter in his chest. Then he chastised himself, _it should not be such a big deal to have a patient call him a friend._

William /Do you have gaps in your memory?/

Nico /No, yesterday you were gone/ 

William cringed at the doctor’s next question, but dutifully relayed it. /Do you remember the accident?/

Nico/Yes, all gone/

After that Nico had shuttered and tensed again.  Dr. Quintus kindly said, “Alright, that enough for today. Go ahead and medicate him. Then come get me before you clean his burns. I want to see those imprints.”

Once the doctor was out of ear shot, William swore under his breath. Nico had apparently given his actual birth date, he was 18. He could not do that again. At the same time he did not want Nico to suspect he had figured out his secret.

William/Good work Nico. Also, you made a coding mistake on your birth year. It is ‘ ** _23_**. Copy/

Nico/Copy, Thank you, Will/

The nurse smiled broadly then chided himself. _Now I know I’m being overly sentimental about a little thank you._

William/Med time Nico/

When done adding the medication to his IV he held his hand flat and pressed with his fingertips in what he was now thinking of as a hand hug. Then after a few minutes he reluctantly removed his hand and resumed his duties. As he walked away he missed the movement of the patient’s lips and a puff of breath as if to form words, no sound came out.


	7. Foreign Correspondence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (The continuation of Nico’s perspective as William returns for his first night shift with alternating Nico’s and William’s viewpoints.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /text/ refers to Morse code  
>  _Italic_ refers to thoughts  
>  _ Italic and underline _ refers to letters

* * *

As Nico waited, he decided that time was still a very wooly concept. His time alternated between morphine dreams and persistent pain.  It should be easy to parse out time based on the morphine dose, but he kept losing count. Will had said a day, but it felt like a week.

Then that glorious heat spread from his chest outward, he sighed in relief and happiness. _Please stay longer this time,_ he thought. Eagerly he waited for his words, determined to answer.

/Nico, please say your name. Say Nico/

He choked out the response from his raw throat. “Ni..Nico.” His knew that was all the voice he had left and he hoped he could hear him. He could not hear himself so all he could do only form the words and hope. Next he signaled with his finger as instructed. It made his hand throb even more, but it was quick.

The toes caught him off guard. He had never even tapped his foot like some operators did to keep time. Still it had the advantage of not hurting. He awkwardly signaled trying to use just his left big toe, but the other toes went along for the ride. With relief he got the ‘copy’.

After that he struggled through coding his answers and relaying them clumsily thinking about each dit and dot for question after question. He wondered why the questions were so clinical and circumspect. This had to be Will, he knew his touch. Might someone else be guiding the questions?  Maybe a doctor?  _Were they already planning to take him to the nut house?_ As his brain skittered in fear he lost track and replied /Jan. 28, 1925/

F _uck, I gave my real birth year. It changed when I was nine and now I suddenly forget!_ He took a few deep breaths and concentrated on his answers. After several more questions, he got the one he dreaded most. /Do you remember the accident? /

He focused on his reply trying to fight back the anguish racing to meet him. /Yes, all gone/ he replied. As soon as it was over he let go and the grief rushed up to meet him. It pulled him under with a shiver. He only heard the last message from far away. 

William /Good work Nico. Also, you made a coding mistake on your birth year. It is ‘ ** _23_**. Copy/

That one got his failing attention. _Could he know? It seemed Will was covering for him._ His heart surged with gratitude.  

Nico /Copy, Thank you, Will/

As he felt the familiar rush of morphine the hand dug into his chest. It felt so good, as he eased into the morphine haze. He drifted away as he thought, _my dear Will, my dear Will, my dear Will._ He did not realize he had started moving his lips in time with the words repeated in his mind.

~***~

Later William brought Dr. Quintus to observe the markings on Nico’s hands. He brought a camera to photograph them. He explained, “As the hand heals they will become less obvious.  I’ll need the evidence for the commendation.”

“What?” William asked surprised.

The doctor smiled, “You said it before: he is a hero and, if recognized as such, I can use that to keep him out of the mental ward and keep treating him.”

“Oh… Um… Good thinking. So what is the plan to bring this forward to Major Chiron?” he answered.

He answered in a quiet whisper, “Let’s keep this between us for now. The Major is likely to order an evaluation as soon as I approach him. I want to make sure Nico passes with flying colors before that happens. In the meantime read Nico’s letters to him. Tell him not to answer, just listen.” Then at normal volume he added, “Come to my office near the end of your shift and I’ll have a treatment plan for you.”  William smiled realizing he was quite pleased he was on nightshift since this man was a wonderful ally.

~***~

It was in deep dark of early morning before Nico was awake enough for his letters. As tired as he was William was eager to talk to Nico again. He uncovered his toes and slipped his hand under his gown to lay flat on Nico’s sternum.

“W-Will” Nico breathed lightly.  William’s chin dropped, _Oh my god, he said my name._

William /Copy/

Laboriously Nico’s lips shifted as if to form words, but no other words were coming out. He switched to code.

Nico /Please stay/

William /as long as I can, besides I have letters to read to you/

Nico/Letters?/ 

William /Yes, I saw some of your friends yesterday/ 

Nico /But they are all …. dead/

William /You have more friends than you know. Besides I’m your friend/

_Nico blushed, actually blushed, it is so cute,_ William mused and smiled broadly.

William /Just relax and listen, don’t try to respond, I’ll go slow, copy/

Nico /copy/

William / Your first letter is from Leo/ 

At that Nico mouthed an ‘oh’ without sound. The letter from Leo was just as blithe as William expected it to be.  At least he thought it was, all that slang made it really hard to follow.

_ /Nico, _

_ What the ruddy hell? I hear you’re spawny enough to survive and now you’ve decided to pack it up? I know you get brassed off easy, but not talking is going to leave you a basket case.  Where will that leave me, your brilliant rigger? I’m left babysitting all these FNGs who are always crabbing home. Besides if you don’t, who else will coerce them into being on strength?  Don’t be such a Jack Bastard. I want to hear you are on your way to becoming a bloody REMF, or I’ll come and give you the dressing down of your life. _

_ Leo/ _

*nico*

_Leo?_ Nico was pleased and touched by the thorny letter. He gave a weak smile _. I had forgotten how annoying Leo could be, but after he got to know me, he was never daunted by me. He was a god send after Percy by bringing me out of my flunk usually with verbal abuse. And Will had actually spoken to Leo?  He had ignored Nico’s lack of response and refused to give up. Why?_

*Will*

William noticed the letter from Leo left a smirk then an odd puzzled look on Nico’s face, but he did not open his eyes. He waited a while, but no words came. He went on to the letter from Piper. It was in a completely different vain, but with a similarly mocking tone.

William /Next is a letter from Piper/ 

Nico tensed and said in a breathy half sob, “No… No… No…”  The nurse frowned then recalled, _Of course he feels guilty about Jason. How could I be so stupid to not think of this?_

William /It is alright. She does not blame you. It is a friendly letter, just listen, Ready? /

Nico was in distress panting heavily. _I let Jason die. How could she help but blame me?  Regardless, Will said that it is friendly? How could it be, but this is Will speaking?  Shit, I never trusted anyone and I already trust Will?_  He grimaced and grit his teeth.

Nico /copy/

William slowly recited the letter while Nico faced it with stoic anxiety clear in his face.

_ /Nico, _

_ I’ve spoken with William and I’m shocked to find you are not trying hard enough to get better. How could you? Jason would not want this. What would Percy say?  He always called you a B-poh and yes I do know that means ‘Bastard Prince of Hell’, so act like it. Grit your teeth and take the hard way out: Survive. William obviously is quite concerned for you. Why else would he come this far to talk to Leo and I.  Please repay his hard work by dismissing his fears. I’m coming to see you as soon as I can get away. And I expect you to talk to me when I come. _

_ Love and Tohidu, _

_ Piper _

_ P.S. William is a handsome man close to your age.  He has sunny blonde hair, golden skin, clear blue eyes, a stunning smile, and best of all a kind gentle heart.  He will make a superb friend so make sure you give him a chance/ _

_ (PS for you only William - you’d better include every word or else. And he knows what Tohidu means, so don’t try and correct the spelling.) _

William blushed profusely at his description, but relayed every word as instructed. He noticed Nico’s brow furrow and mouth tighten into a thin line. When done he simply held his hand flat over Nico’s chest. He sighed softly because he secretly hoped for a reply. He waited holding his hand flat on Nico’s chest and gazing at Nico’s handsome face. The abrasions were almost gone. He would give anything to have him alert and looking at him with those deep brown eyes.

~***~

Nico felt like he was spinning after Piper’s letter. He had never paid much attention to Piper other than as Jason’s girlfriend and then wife. _I always knew she was kind and tough.  She had made room for me with her and Jason, especially once Percy was gone. And she seemed to know when to draw me out of morbid thoughts._

_But, Love and Tohidu?  Sure, I was privy to some of the secret Cherokee words so Piper could send them over the radio to Jason. But to tell me love and ‘good peace’ when Jason didn’t come back, it was too much._

_Then B-poh, it hurt in so many complicated ways. Somehow I always liked the term when Percy used it. At first it was just a quip he penned during training, but an irritatingly apt one. Then it came to mean, ‘come on Nico. Give it a rest.’ Finally it became a term of affection. After he was gone, Jason was the only one allowed to use it. He was the only one who seemed to know what it really meant me, but I see she does too._

Nico thought of Piper’s description of Will. _Damn he was handsome and kindhearted. I wished I could see him._

He tried to talk in a halting way, “th-thank…” Will dug in his fingers and lifted his other hand to cup his cheek without thinking.  Instinctively, Nico opened his eyes to look at him. It was dark, but he was able to make out a rough outline of what must have been Will’s face and golden hair. He tried to focus, to see his eyes, but failed. Will began to rubs circle in his chest. It was heavenly to know he was not alone anymore and a few tears leaked out the sides of his eyes. Will brushed them away. 

~***~

Touching Nico’s face was so sweet. He told himself _I’m not being romantic, it was just comforting him after an emotional letter._ Reluctantly William removed his hand and told Nico that his shift was almost over and he had duties to perform. He said he would be back as soon as his next shift started. Then he sent Nico into morphine oblivion.

William had been up for over 24 hours by the time he made it home. He felt overwhelmed with exhaustion, but oh so happy. _Nico could actually speak again and he wanted me to stay._ Katie fussed over him and stuffed a few mouthfuls of oatmeal in him before he collapsed in a stupor on his bed. For the first time in a long time he slept soundly for 10 hours straight.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Slang Dictionary~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
> Basket Case – permanently unresponsive, losing all limbs, or a sustained coma  
> Brassed off – Angry  
> Crabbing – Limping home in a damaged plane  
> Dressing down – chewed out  
> FNGs – Inexperienced new crews, or Fucking new guys  
> Jack – Selfish  
> On Strength - There and doing your job as part of a crew  
> Pack it up – die, stop working  
> REMF – A negative term for soldier stationed far from the front line, or Rear Echelon Motherfucker  
> Rigger – ground crew  
> Ruddy – like bloody, but to a lesser degree  
> Spawny – Lucky  
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Cherokee Dictionary~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
> Tohidu - Good peace (state of body, mind and spirit)  
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End Dictionary~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 
> Yeah,  
> 7 Chapters in and our heroes are finally talking to each other.


	8. Aroma Therapy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (During his second night shift Will and Nico get to know each other. Nico’s health improves.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /text/ refers to Morse code  
>  _Italic_ refers to thoughts

William hurriedly kissed each of his sisters lightly on the cheek before he started his walk across the arboretum to work. He felt buoyant as he thought about Nico. _He was talking again!_ The gardens looked so much brighter today.  On a whim he picked some white and purple crocus for Nico’s bedside table. He could at least smell the flowers. 

He was early, so he stopped by Nico’s bed.  Unfortunately Nico made no reaction to his touch or Morse code. He had expected this since it was mid-point between morphine doses. He place the flowers on the small table near the bed using a can as a vase.  Instead he went to see Jake.

~***~

 “So, he speaks right? You couldn’t look that happy unless he spoke.” Jake called out as soon as he approached.

“Yeah,” And William’s grin broke into a toothy smile.

“You’d better tell me all about it.” Jake commanded as William sat down. 

He started talking in a low voice. He told his friend about Dr. Quintus, about using toes for coding, about the way Nico answered every question, and that he had read Nico’s letters to him. He left out doctor’s intent to ask for a commendation and would not divulge the letters contents.  He only said, “The tone of the letters seemed right.  Piper basically challenged him to live and pulled out some history to drive the point home.”

“So you think it was depression?” Jake asked.

“He certainly wanted to talk yesterday but, he had a hard time speaking. Dr. Quintus made it sound like damage affecting communication is very hard to recover from.  He wants me to speak with him as much as possible. He also said if I could find someone else to speak to him it would help.” William explained steering away from depression.  He was convinced depression was a factor, but Jake didn’t need to know that.

“I’m game and you know I’m always here.” Jake responded with a touch a melancholy.

“Thank you Jake. You have been great.”  William said sincerely.

“I really enjoyed the trip.  I am so ready to get out of here.” Jake grimaced at the ward.  William made a mental note to check on how soon Jake could be released. He seemed ready, so he and Katie would need to prepare room for him.  He smiled as he left thinking of how Jake would react when he finally told him about it.

~***~

He read through Dr. Quintus’ plan with astonishment and doubt.  He had some fairly standard things like regular evaluations and detailed sight and hearing tests.  But he also wanted some pretty odd things like asking his favorite scents and foods.  The item he liked best was to talk to Nico as much as possible, he just hoped the nights remained quiet.  He was a bit puzzled over ‘setting a baseline’.

“Sir, Um… Doctor?” He asked tentatively as he opened the door. 

“Mr. Solace, please come in. I was too busy yesterday to talk when I gave you my plan.” He said.

“Thank you, sir. I assume you were pleased with yesterday’s progress.” William began.

“Quite pleased. I hope that today will be as good. Did you share any conversation over his letters?” He asked.

“Not much, mostly I recited.” William answered.

“Good, but don’t be dishearten if today he does not do as well. I will be slow going,” Dr. Quintus smiled kindly. “Do you have any questions about the plan?”

“What do you mean by baseline?” He asked.

“Ah, I want to keep a log of his responses and any other significant interactions.  I plan to use a standard set of questions and track any changes daily.  The intent is to show he is responding consistently to standard questions.  Next the baseline moves on to questions about his injuries, sight, and hearing.  And finally each day we will introduce something unique that can be recalled the next day. That will check that he is not just repeating the past, but his living in the present. It was a very good sign that he remembered you were gone one day.” Dr. Quintus commented then musing said, “Also, I’m concerned about his throat and voice.  You said he was screaming when he first came. Does he still have nightmares?”

“Yes, but his screams are quieter and raspy.” William confirmed.

“I think he has strained his throat. I want to start him on water and maybe an herbal tea to help his throat.” He paused to look at some notes, “Finally, I’m going to ask the other duty nurse to pick-up some of your load this week. When is your first contact likely to be?”

“19:30, sir”

“Alright, I’ll be there for today’s baseline.”

Will left the office feeling a bit better, but also overwhelmed. It seemed like Dr. Quintus was full of peculiar and erratic ideas. He impulsively gave the doctor a later time, so he could tell Nico the plan and warn him that he was being observed. If it was him, he knew he would want to know.

~***~

After making his rounds William arrived at Nico’s bed about thirty minutes before the doctor was due.  He quickly uncovered Nico’s toes and slipped his hand under Nico’s gown to his upper chest. To his amazement Nico half opened his eyes squinting against the light and turned toward him.  William was startled, _can he see enough to know where I am?_

Nico lightly breathed out, “Will?”  The graved tone of his voice made it clear he would not be talking much today.

William smiled as he signaled back /Yes, I’m here to talk a while before changing your dressings/

Again Nico spoke softly with a rough edge, “Why?” 

Confused William asked /Why what? /

Nico switches to signaling /why did you go to see Leo and Piper? / 

The blonde scowled, _Of course I would do this for you. I would do much more_. He started to prepare a reply, but remembered that Dr. Quintus will be here soon. /Later, right now I need to tell you about Dr. Quintus, Q. Q has developed a treatment plan and will be coming to do a ‘baseline’. He’ll ask a lot of questions and write down your answers/

Nico frowned and his brow furrowed /does he want me in the mental ward? /

William /No, like me, he believes you are alert and he wants to prove it. I just thought you should know that you have an audience/

Nico /Thank you/ _He is so thoughtful, most people treat me like a sack of potatoes._

William summarized the treatment plan to the degree he understood it.  Then said /I’m going to start the dressings before he gets here/

William gently lifted Nico and put an extra pillow under his shoulders. Then he changed the dressing on the back of his head. He finished and was about to move to his left leg when Dr. Quintus arrived. 

“You can finish that later it is time for the baseline. Please start by letting him know we are doing a baseline and the date.” He ordered.

William began the baseline as Dr. Quintus made note of all the answers William relayed. They started with his condition. They are both were pleased when Nico stated he could see some colors but only unfocused shapes. He said the light was too bright. He had no change in hearing. After that they move on to simple questions and answers. Finally he asked what he remembered about yesterday.

Nico smiled before replying /I remember the questions asked.  Many the same as todays’. Will read letters from Leo and Piper. I had two does of medicine during Will’s shift and two more before now/

“Good, tell him that he has done well. Finally tell him to remember the word ‘determined’ for tomorrow’s baseline. He’ll have a new word each day.” William wondered again about this doctor’s unorthodox approach, but relayed the message dutifully.

“William, I am impressed with his progress. He is not confused and clearly remembers quite well what has happened. He even timed his dosage.” Dr. Quintus said, “Today I want you to start him on water and talk with him so he has something specific to remember about today.” 

By the time they were finished Nico was due for morphine, so William would have to wait for any more conversation with the dark haired man.

~***~

It was early morning when William was able to talk to Nico again. He was eager to have an unscripted and unhurried conversation with Nico. As he approached he saw that Nico’s eyes were half open again. He set down a glass of water as he placed his hand on Nico’s chest. Nico shift his head looking for him and said, “Will” in a relieved sigh. 

William offered him some water carefully positioning the straw.  Nico sipped gratefully until about half the cup was gone.

William warned him that if he drank too much too soon he could get sick. Also, he would leave directions with the day nurse to give him water as signaled by a tap to his cheek.

Nico coughed to clear his throat and said roughly, “flowers?”

William had forgot all about the flowers. /Yes, crocus I picked them on the way in this evening/

Nico /can I smell them? / William tilted Nico’s head up gentle and held the cup close to his face. Nico hummed his appreciation of the smell.  He blink a few times, and in the darker room he was able to see the flower shape and color instead of a blob. 

Nico rasped excitedly, “I see it!” _Maybe I can get my sight back and get the fuck out of this bed._

William jumped to reply and had him explain in detail what he could see.

Nico /four purple and three white flowers all with yellow centers. Cup shaped petals, in a tin cup/

William /Perfect, Now it is your turn, ask me anything you want/

Nico /I want to see you/ He asked without any thought and wondered, _where did that came from? Piper did say he was handsome._ And he felt an uncomfortable yet eager thrill.

William was dazed, _of all thing he wants to see me_. His stomach flipped as he leaned in close.  Nico coaxed, “Closer” He finally said “stop” when they were almost nose to nose.  

Nico breathed softly, “So blue.”  William slowly moved his face around so that Nico could see all of him and even turned his head to allow him to see his mop of blond curls.  Nico breathed, “Piper was right.”  That made William blush and he drew back, heart beating fast.

Nico coughed, “W-Water?” In his flustered state William hurried to the task to calm himself. After a few sips Nico went on.

Nico /I want to be able to sit up when Piper visits.  I want to be able to talk again.  I don’t want to look so broken when she comes. Can you help me bathe? /

William /I don’t expect her until 4-6 days have passed, so we have time. Your face is mostly healed and your hair was only shaved near the injury. Let me see if you are ready for an incline/

William brought over a wedge shaped bolster. He carefully lifted Nico’s head and shoulders to slide the wedge in. This lifted Nico into a shallow angled reclined position. He paled a bit, but smiled.

William /Dizzy? Weak? / Nico shook his head. /Good, but you look a bit pale. I’ll put you back down when we are done talking. What else? /

Nico /why are you doing all this for me? /

William /why wouldn’t I? It is my job after all/

Nico /It is not your job to go looking for my friends/

William /Oh, that. It was my friend Jake’s idea.  He also taught me Morse code/

Nico grimaced /so why did you go to the airbase to snoop around? /

William /I wasn’t snooping, I just wanted your friends to know you weren’t a lost cause/

Nico snarled slightly/would you bloody stop evading the question/

William paled a bit, _how does he know that?_ /Alright, I just  had to reach you. I had a feeling you were ignoring me, not slipping away. I hoped a friend could get through to you because I was running out of time/

Nico / Why would you be so interested in a basket case like me? I don’t matter/

William / Damn it, you matter to me! You are a hero that has survived 28 missions. You’re still a young handsome man that can look forward to a long full life.  And nobody, absolutely nobody, deserves the mental ward. So I don’t want to hear anymore whys/

Nico took a long time to reply /I can’t thank you enough for noticing me to begin with.  How did you know I wasn’t … I was in here? /

William /Nightmares, you stopped screaming when I put my hand on you/

Nico thought about the warmth he felt and the memory of his mother. Such a small thing had meant so much to him. /How could you noticed such a little thing? /

William /I notice everything about you. So promise you’ll keep trying, even on the hard days. Promise you’ll let me help. Promise you will always talk to me, even if you are angry with me/

Nico shook his head thinking, _this is getting far too intimate. How can I promise so much? Especially when so many of my thoughts hurt._

He made no sign for several long moments as William waited anxiously. _If I don’t, it is the mental ward for me. I really have no choice, I have to let this man in._ He still hesitated biting his lip.

Finally Nico answered /I will try as long as you are here to help me/

William /I will be/

Nico whispered, “Will” with such genuine longing that it touched William heart. He grip his chest in his ‘hand hug’ and the world pause for one sweet extended moment. He heard a noise from elsewhere in the ward and it broke the spell. 

He looked at the time and signaled, /Pain killer time/ William busied himself with the medicine while his thoughts lingered on the sound of his name on Nico’s lips.

Nico felt warmth radiating out from his chest, even before the drifting oblivion of the morphine kicked in.  _Will had noticed him even with all the injuries. His touch was incredibly warm and gentle. He said he was handsome. He said he would be here for him._ _And god those beautiful cerulean eyes. He knew the chances that Will was queer was pretty much zero. After all he was the only queer he knew. All the men he had slept with were just deviant dalliances or, in one case, a rebound romance from a heterosexual life. He could still dream, so he focused blissfully on every detail of Will’s beautiful face and his tender touches as he drifted to sleep._  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I know nothing about medicine or treatment, so please excuse my creatively license with respect to Nico’s injuries and recovery. Dr. Quintus’ plan would seem reasonable by today’s standards (at least in my imagination). In 1943 it was likely unheard of to take such a holistic approach to treatment, hence William’s confusion and doubt. IMHO, Quintus is someone who is perpetually ahead of his time.


	9. Tender Rapport

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (William is thrilled with Nico’s process, while Nico regrets the intensity of their interactions.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /text/ refers to Morse code  
>  _Italic_ refers to thoughts

The next day William came in early to translate for the optometrist. He spent almost of an hour performing tests before he pronounce that with glasses Nico could see up to an arm’s length away.  He would make a temporary pair of glasses, but he was expected to see rapid improvement over the next few weeks. The temporary glasses were an ugly thick lens pair with a dark coating and side shades. The net effect was William could barely distinguish Nico’s eyes, but he colored when Nico seemed to be staring at him. 

~***~

William went to tell Jake the good news once the vision evaluation was over. Jake was happy to see him and to hear the good news.

Innocently William said, “I have more good news for you.”  Jake looked expectant, but in an ‘I’m happy for you’ way, think it was about Nico again.  “My sisters have agreed that you can live with us once you leave the hospital.  We are just across the gardens.”

Jake mouth dropped open as he was completely taken off guard. He said ecstatically, “You… Really… Me….” William nodded as Jake composed himself and beamed at him, “You really would let me into your home? Shit, William, I don’t know how to thank you.” 

“If you want to thank someone, thank Katie. She’ll be the taking care of you most of the time.  I’m on 12 hour shifts remember. And you’d better stop swearing!” The blonde smiled, “Please go by and talk to Nico during the day. 1300 is the best time to get him awake.”

~***~

William reviled in Nico’s progress and he felt undeniably happy. By the fourth day of Nico’s baseline, Dr. Chiron had come to observe and declared him fully cognizant. William smugly thought, _see Nico’s recall was perfect and you doubted me._  He had been working with Nico on sitting up and he had progressed to drinking herbal tea.  This was the first day Nico talked almost as much as he signaling during the baseline. He mused, _his voice is lovely._

To Nico everything felt too close, too intense. He hated feeling like a performing monkey for all these observers, but it was the only way to stay away from the mental ward. Of course he savored the conversations with Will even though he felt too exposed. It started yesterday and he was in far too deep before he knew it.

William / How about you tell me how you became a Radio Operator? /

Nico said, “Alright” Thankfully he chose a relatively safe topic of discussion. /I signed up at seventeen at the training base in Toronto Canada. I was English by birth, so they put me in the RAF. Initially I wanted to be a pilot, but I already knew Morse code so I was put on the fast track to become a radio operator/

William /How did you learn Morse code? I never even heard of it before/

Nico /My father taught Bianca and me when we were still little. He played a game where we would search for hidden candy by deciphering coded clues. Later in boarding school we could ‘talk’ by tapping on the wall adjoining the boys and girls sections of the boarding school/

William /What did he do? /

Nico / He never talked about work. Near as I remember he worked for a government liaison for some English companies based in Italy, but he traveled most of the time/

William’s skin prickled at Nico’s description of his father, so he changed the subject. /When I was learning Morse code, I taught my littlest sister, Lucy. She is just eight. It helps during black outs and air raids to have a silent way to talk/

Nico asked in the vague tentative way everyone did these days, “Tell me about your family?”

William could have simply told him about his sisters and a part of him wanted to forget his losses. On the other hand, he felt so much affinity with Nico that he wanted him to know they were both orphans and had both lost siblings. /I have three little sisters that I care for. My parents and two older brothers are gone/

Nico gave a gasp of sympathy, “Will, I-I understand” Then he signaled /It is alright if you want to talk about something else/

William shook his head sadly /No, it has been two years since Lee and I’ve been the girls’ guardian since I was 18. It is alright to talk about it/

Nico’s heart sank for Will. He could tell by his slight tremble that he was hurting. / I last saw my parents at eleven and they were gone by ‘36. Then Bianca died four years ago, but it never gets any easier/

William signaled morosely /At least I still have my sisters and I’m on protected status since I’m their guardian/ 

Nico asked in an effort to help him change the subject, “How did you end up as a nurse?”

William seized on the subject and pushed himself to lighten up.  He reminisced about his much older brother Lee training to be a doctor and how he idolized him. He explained that when war seemed eminent both he and his mother trained as nurses.  After his father died his mother set him up as head of the family.

William /She refused to stay home and went into the service. It was like she didn’t not want to be without him/ after that William launched into a description of his sisters.

Nico realized that Will was being open with him and expected the same in return. Even worse a part of him wanted Will to know him and that was scary.  He hardly knew him. Previously he never talked, even to Bianca. She knew him, he didn’t need to say much for her to understand. Then with Percy and Jason they understood well enough that they were trying to hold back hell and they didn’t bother with the past. This was completely different and his need for Will seemed amplified after each time they talked.  

~***~

Nico found the baselines were simply tiring, but it was his ever changing health status that had him reeling.  First his vision was returned and that had him hopeful. Next his hearing was evaluated, but it was gone. Worse the specialist said it was likely permanent and he was plummeted into despair. Then the head doctor declared he was alert.  He had escaped the mental ward.  After that he was contented knowing he would recover, even if he would be deaf.

On top of that his attraction to the blonde was disturbing. He felt so vulnerable. _Surely it was just gratitude, but it felt so powerful_. Nico found he wanted to keep their conversations private. So, although he could speak again, he mostly signaled. 

William /Where did you grow up? /

Nico /Venice Italy /

William /Italy, how long did you live there? /

Nico /When I was eleven I moved to Canada for boarding school/

William /I didn’t hear an accent/

Nico /No, my father was a stickler for correct pronunciation. It was hell/

William/Hum, I was born in France, but moved when I was four. I can’t remember French anymore/

Nico /Are you French? /

William /No my father worked in the embassy there/

Nico /My father was English, but my mother was Italian/

William /That explains your beautiful skin tone/

Nico was silent at that and he started to blush, he wondered if Will could tell. To cover he coughed and asked for some water.

William /did you have a garden? / He knew Nico looked forward to the fresh flowers he brought in every day.

Nico / yes, a large roof top one. My mother and I would plant flowers and pull weeds/

William /tell me about her/

Nico /My mother, Maria was so beautiful and so strong. She was fearless. I remember she stood up to my father when he yelled at us and broke things. He would do anything for her/ he paused feeling like he had said too much.

William /is that why you went away for school? /

Then thinking about how it sounded Nico added, /Bianca told me later in only happened three times and he was drunk. Mom told her a lot to tell me when I was older/ He felt like a rock had just settled in his stomach. _It was like she knew what would happen. I hadn’t thought about that in years. Why wouldn’t she come with us if she knew?_

Nico mentally shook himself to dispel the desolate thoughts. He was determined to continue because it was Will /Bianca said it was because she and father were worried about the government. Maria should have come with us to Canada. But, she would not leave our father or her country. I think he made her stay and I hate him for it/ His face heated in anger, but also tears for his mother started to gather under his closed eyes.

William /Can I ask what happened to her? /

Nico felt like a long jagged nail was being pulled from his heart, but he went on. _God help me I want to tell him_ /I don’t know, she disappeared in 1936/ His tears began dripping from his closed eyes.

William reach up and rubbed them away with his thumb. Nico said to himself, _my sweet Will._ And then the blonde pulled completely away. Nico desolately thought, now _he sees how weak I am and he will keep his distance._ So, it stunned him when William leaned in and pressed his cheek to Nico’s cheek. His arms snaked under his shoulders and he hugged him. Nico stiffened as a few more tears came out.  William ignored his reluctance and squeezed him tighter.  He felt a torrent of unshed tears from years of pain and repression pile up behind his eyes. Nico fought with himself. _I will not cry, I will not cry._

Then, a traitorous part of him countered. _He was the only one who saw past my comatose body. I trust him_. He felt his heart soften and he started to weep.  Soon he was sobbing trying to clutch him with his arms while holding his bandaged hands out straight. It was demining, but he could not stop once it started. It was losing his mother, his sister, Percy, and Jason, all rolled together. Then, as if he hadn’t given enough, he’d lost his hearing, his sight and even his hands.  He had lost it all.  William held him until he fell into an uneasy sleep.

~***~

Later when he woke up his mind was spinning with disturbing conjectures.  _How could this just be gratitude? It felt like when I fell for Percy only this is more profound. Could I be falling in love?  No! No! No! I just need Will as a link to the outside world. He is just a kind person and I’m an idiot for making more of it then there is._ Now he both needed and feared Will, but the need was always stronger.

Will came back and talked at least twice a day, not including baselines, once during his shift and once after his shift was over.  Nico found himself telling him everything, well almost everything.  He told him about time he and Bianca stayed up all night playing cribbage and had to sneak back into their respective dorms. He told him about the cake he and Bianca tried to make for their mother with disastrous results. He told him about his father teaching him to fight as a boy after he came home with a black eye for being English. He even told him about the burn he got as a three year old. He had never told anyone so much. He had changed and he couldn’t stop himself.

~***~

It shocked Nico when a strange calloused hand landed on his chest.  It had been about five days since the baselines began. Then he was totally stunned when he began talking in Morse code.

Jake /I’m Jake. William said I should talk to you/

Nico replied “Who? - What?”

Jake /You can use code, I’m an RO.  But really, come on, William and me are good mates, didn’t he tell you anything about me? /

Nico / Maybe, I think, yeah/

Jake /I should hope so, we went all the way to airbase for you/

Nico/ Thank you, It was good to hear from Leo and Piper/

Jake /Surprised he didn’t say more about me. Maybe he is trying to keep you to himself/

Nico was started to get an uneasy feeling that he couldn’t quite define. /If you are an RO what are you doing here? /

Jake /I’m one leg shy of a pair. I almost bought it in a bandit attack, but we crabbed home. What type of kite were you on? /

Nico found it easy to speak about the virtues of different planes until Jake switched to talking about William.  He told him how he sincerely tried to help everyone.  He admitted it made a big difference to his recovery.  Then that William even kept visiting after his transfer out of the ward. As the discussion went on Nico’s heart was heavy. _So Will is just a kind soul and I’m an attention starved imbecile for liking him so fucking much._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Slang Dictionary~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
> Bandit – Enemy Aircraft  
> Bought it - Died  
> Crabbing – Limping home in a damaged plane  
> Kite – Aircraft  
> RO - Radio Operator  
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
> Next time Piper comes for a visit and none too soon help Nico sort things out.


	10. Implications of Affection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Nico gets a visitor just when he really needs someone to talk to.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes:  
> /text/ refers to Morse code  
>  _Italic_ refers to thoughts  
>  On terms,  
> I have tried to use terms that would have common in the 1940s. So, instead of gay or I use the term queer that was common to that time period.

After a full week of night shifts, William was tired, very tired. He was use to the 12 hour days, but he was staying late to speak with Nico and he found it hard to sleep during the day.  Still, Dr. Quintus had to force him to take a day off as he went from night shift back to day shift.  William was all for staying on nights, since that meant more time with Nico.  Dr. Quintus reasoned that it was better to have someone familiar with Nico on both shifts, especial when it came to working with other doctors.  Now that Nico could see and speak he was sure that he could communicate with Nico enough for the baselines and treatments.  William grudgingly acquiesced and took the next 24 hours off, but he couldn’t stay away from Nico that long.

He went to see Nico after his last night shift at 7:00 and brought him a surprise. After positioning a bolster so he could sitting up comfortably and positioning his glasses, he brought out a covered tray on a stand.  He lifted the lid with a flourish to reveal a small bowl of thin oatmeal and hot tea.

Nico’s lips parted in surprise, “I get to eat again?”

William signaled as he grinned /yes, you get the deluxe extra fancy unflavored oatmeal/ the nurse brought a spoonful to his open eager mouth. 

Nico could now talk with his mouth full as he signaled with his toes /you have no idea how good even plain oatmeal is when you haven’t eaten for what, 18 days/

William turned back to face him, smiled and signaled back /yes, exactly 18 days/ 

Nico said, “Shut-up and shovel Will.”

William went back to feeding him silently and happily. Anything that made Nico smile was special.  It startled him how much he was drawn to this patient from the very start.  As he told stories from his past William felt himself synchronizing with the raven haired man. They had so much in common, not that he could tell Nico what he suspected about what he hid. He heard it in the tidbits about his parents and his closeness with Bianca that echoed his with Lee. He felt he could pin point when Nico skipped ahead two years. More than that he felt an affinity with the younger man.  This had morphed into something that stirred a longing in his heart for closeness. Something he had been avoiding for the past two years.

He found himself ogling Nico’s rose colored lips and glimpses of his pink tongue as he opened his mouth to envelope the spoon.  The blonde had to close his eyes, and he thought, d _amn his mouth is so alluring. But I have to get my head out of the god damn gutter._ Over the past week he had just about accepted that he like Nico far too much, but he cringed at his inappropriate reaction to just seeing the inside of his mouth. He was a patient and he would not let himself succumb to his desires. He struggled to keep himself reserved and distant, although his heart beat erratically. _I will give him space to heal no matter what._ He grit his teeth together and sucked in a breath.

Nico had made study of Will over the few day he had his sight back. He was so beautiful with his strong handsome features, startling blue eyes, and tanned skin tone. Will studied him closely too, and occasionally he imaged he saw a hint of longing in his eyes. It made his breath catch every time, but he suppressed the urge to think it was real. Often he looked like he was grimacing, as he did right now. _He probably just wished he didn’t always have to wait on me._ That took the edge off the pleasure of eating again.

~***~

Nico woke from an uneasy sleep to a soft female hand patting his chest. Now that he could speak, he could scream again and that meant nightmares disturbed everyone. Will had all the nurses trained to wake him and that meant he could remember more of his dreams and they, unlike his waking life, reverberated with sound.

This dream had been about Percy. He had never died and had come to visit him in the hospital. Nico could hear again. He been shocked and happy to see the sea green eyed man. He told him he missed him and had tried to kiss him. Percy had just pushed him away and gave him a cold hard disdainfully glower. He said “You were a mistake.”  Nico had started to argue. Percy went on to say, “I regret that I ever spent time with you. Every minute was an insult to Annabeth’s memory.” And he walked away. That was when Nico began to cry, “No! Don’t go…”  Then he woke up.

Nico grimly took stock of his time with Percy. _I had always accepted that Percy would never feel about me as he had about Annabeth. Still I thought it had meant something to the man.  He had kept coming back to me and it seemed like more than just sex.  He seemed to at least like me a friend, but now I doubt even that much. Yet here I am again falling for another man who I could never satisfy._ He felt tears run down his face and he couldn’t decide if it was for Percy, or for Will, or for the fact his love had never and would never be returned.

He morosely realized he would never hear any voices accept those of the dead in his head. How he dearly wished he could hear Will’s voice, just once. He imagined him sounding like Gary Cooper and smiled sadly as he fell back into forgetful sleep. His next dream was better. It was Will as Gary Cooper in “Mr. Deeds Goes to Town.”  At 13 he was his first crush, but this one did not cause him to cry out and was quite forgotten in the morning.

~***~

Next Nico woke to Jake’s coarse hand on his chest. He inwardly groaned, this man was extremely irritating, but not in a good way like Leo.

Jake /Nice shades/

Nico /I can only see about an arms length away/

Jake /so you’ve gotten a good look at William. He is handsome, huh/

Nico /Uh yeah, he’s alright/ _Why would he ask me something like that?_

Jake /you are exactly William’s type. So are you going to give him a go? /

Nico’s mind raced as he gave a standard defensive reply /what are you talking about? / _What the fuck is this about? He couldn’t mean that, could he? Holy fuck! It sounds like he is fishing for my intentions. He might be jealous._

Jake /Oh nothing, I just wondered if you would call William your friend/

Nico /He is my only contact besides you, I’m bound to I think of him as a friend/ He was not going to give Jake a real answer. He wondered, _is he warning me away?_

Jake /Right, he has been a quick study on the Morse code. He was pretty worked up when he first asked me about codes/  

Nico /Then I owe you for teaching him/ He grudgingly admitted. _Maybe I should give him a chance._

Jake /You’re not as much of a binder as I thought you’d be/

Nico growled slight as he replied /what is that supposed to mean? I’ve lost my hearing, most of my sight, use of my hands, and I can’t walk. What don’t I have to complain about? / He though, _on second thought, I don’t want to give this clot a chance._

Jake /sorry, it was just the way they talked about you at the airbase. I figured you were one of those jerks who’s only saving grace was a heroic streak, but you’re not/

Nico had nothing left to say to this moron and went silent.

Jake /look really I’m sorry. I was impressed by what Leo and Piper had to say about you/

_Bloody hell, he just won’t stop talking._ Nico declared pointedly “I’m tired.”

Jake /Okay, sure, do you need anything before I go? /

Nico answered through gritted teeth, “No!” With that Jake’s hand was quickly withdrawn. He had heard that hint of threat Nico could put in his tone of voice. 

Nico bubbled with anger. _He came here to pump me for information, warn me away from Will, and then he insulted me. How could Will be friends with that loud mouthed clot?_ Then he was caught up short with a follow on thought, _What if they are more than friends? No, not my sweet Will. This is so much worse. Will is queer, but with that jerk Jake._ He felt his very small world explode and darkness engulf him. After an hour in despair he slipped gratefully into a morphine induced stupor. 

~***~

William could tell something was wrong when he brought him a dinner of chicken soup that evening. I was in the tone of his responses and set of his jaw. He wasn’t smiling and had refused any attempt at conversation.

William /I will leave for today, but I will be back in the morning. I want to know what is going on. Remember you promised to always speak to me, even when you were mad at me/ Nico had stiffened at that, _bulls-eye_ William thought, ruefully.

Nico grimaced. He thought it didn’t show, but of anyone it would be the ever observant Will that noticed.  _How can I tell him I’m mad at the company he keeps?  How could I say I’m jealous and want him to like me instead?  How can I say I think Jake is beneath his notice?  He’ll hate me for it._

~***~

William looked at his chart to see what may have happened.  He saw that Jake had visited, so he went to get the scoop from him.

Without preamble Jake said emphatically, “Your would be boyfriend is one creepy bastard.”

William flared with anger immediately, _it was you! You upset him._ “What did you say to him? He has stopped taking to me!”

“Hey, I was just a little too surprised he wasn’t a jerk and told him so.” Jake said defensively.

That made William even angrier, “Are you stupid or something?  You don’t say that type of thing to a patient. Don’t you have any bedside manners?”

“Of course I don’t. I’m a patient, remember.” Jake countered.

William glared at him and took a few steading breaths. _Being angry doesn’t help anything, I need to calm down and work the problem._ “Yeah, sorry I snapped. You’d better tell me everything, so I can sort it out.” 

Jake relayed the altercation to William. He smiled to realize that Nico wasn’t taken in by Jake’s usual fishing. He had been. Still he couldn’t quite figure out why Nico was so upset by the whole thing. If he was queer too, the hints shouldn’t have offended him. Besides it just didn’t feel like he’d cared that much what others thought about him. The conversation made him apprehensive, but he didn’t know why. _Could it be that Nico was disturbed at the idea ‘giving him a go’ as Jake put it?_  That made his stomach sink, but he pushed those feelings away. The primary problem was Nico was drawing away from him and he couldn’t let that happen.

~***~

Jason had left Piper with two letters, in case he didn’t return. One was for her and the other for Nico. She had at first thought that Nico would never get his, but now she was on her way to deliver it. It was a relief to know that Nico was talking again. Piper tried to mentally prepare for a severely injured Nico on the trip to the hospital. But Nico had been so strong, the one she was sure would save Jason, if the time came. It must have been over quickly.

After reading Jason’s letter to him she could not help but cry. She now understood Nico a little better and lamented Percy’s senseless cruelty. She now knew why Jason had, after a drunken night with Percy, called her out of the dorm at 2am.  He made her promise to always tell nothing but the absolute truth to each other, no matter how much it hurt. As she reminisced on that night she cried again. She couldn’t understand it, she was not a crier but since Jason was gone…

Now she had to pull it together for Nico. He needed her to tell him what Jason had hidden from him under oath. She had always drawn strength from his stoic enduring example after so much loss. Now it was her turn to endure and to lend strength to Nico. 

She lingered in the doorway as the nurse pointed to Nico’s bed among the twenty others is the room.  She saw William with him changing dressings and decided to wait here until he was done.  As she studied William she felt a suspicion dawning. It was evident in the way he gently touched him, gazed at him fondly, and kept a hand on him at all times. She had a gift for seeing relationships and feelings. William was deeply committed to Nico.

She walked forward as William was cleaning away the old dressings and supplies. In many ways Nico was better than she expected but so much worse too. William gave her the overview of his injuries as Nico gazed at her from his sitting up position. He smiled and talked over William saying, “Hi Piper” loudly.

William smirked at the interruption and Piper gave him a wave.  The nurse continued with his summary proudly saying he could now sit-up, talk, eat solid food, and he could see an arm’s length away. She wondered, _how he could be so proud of such little things?_  The extent to which this fiercely independent man had been reduced to needing help with the smallest of needs brought her up short. As William gesture for her to sit. She bit her lip to keep herself from showing how she felt. _Smarten yourself up, it won’t do to look sad. Jason needs to you do this for him._

As she sat down, she saw that Nico was forcing the smile on his face and she felt how worried William was. She noticed his hands trembled slightly as he showed her how the Morse code worked. She gasped at the sudden flash of intuition and turned it into a cough. _William is in love with Nico._ She tried to bore into Nico’s smoke glass covered eyes and she barely caught a glint of his expressive stare. _I need to talk to you alone,_ it said.

Piper continued to stare at Nico as she said, “William, I can handle speaking to him, _alone._ You understand right?”

William paused nervously nodding, “Yeah, sure. I’ll be on the ward, just call my name and I’ll be back in an instant.” He signaled to Nico who made no reply, but watched warily as the nurse left. 

Once he was gone Nico turned to Piper and nervously signaling /Piper, I – I need to talk to you about something. Make sure Will doesn’t listen/ 

She smiled and signaled back /I’ll get the privacy shade/ She brought over the portable screen making sure to position it to cover his feet and her hand on his chest.

Nico frowned /I know we have other things to talk about, but I have a problem and need your help. ….You know the cliché about soldiers in the hospital. Well I’ve fallen for my nurse. It is bloody embarrassing/

Piper smiled /He is cute. Why not fall for him? And he likes you, too/

Nico scowled /No he doesn’t. I talked to Jake, his boyfriend! And he warned me off. Piper what am I going to do. I depend on him for everything. To be so close and yet so far away… hurts… terribly/

Piper /I met them together, remember. Take it from me Jake is not with Will/

Nico argued /Well he is now or he wants to be/

Piper /I tell you they have none of that tension between them. So, tell me exactly makes you think this? /

Nico explained the conversation with Jake. She looked thoughtful /what did Will say when you asked him about it? /

Nico /I couldn’t ask Will about that/

Piper /Why not? All Jake gave were vague hints and they could mean anything. Jake is the type of person that tries to fix up friends and smooth over augments. He’s a meddler, but not in mean way. I could take everything he said to be he was trying to give you a hint that Will likes you. You’re getting none of his inflections through Morse code/

Nico deflated /that is not possible. Nobody ever really wanted me, not even _him_ /

Piper /Percy did want you, a lot. You made things so much better for him. He never smiled unless you were together. That was strange with such a grump bastard as you/

Nico ignored her teasing and emphatically stated / He only ever loved Annabeth. I was just a fill in/

Piper / you are wrong. Remember how you tried to keep your distance early on and he kept coming to find you. Nico, it felt real to me/

Nico shut her down / It doesn’t matter he is gone/

Piper turned the subject back to the main point /William is here and he is worried about you. Just ask if he has ‘a girl’ and, if he gets nervous, say ‘or a boy’/ 

Nico panicked/ I can’t do that/

Piper went in with her real goal /then just tell him you are queer and see what he says. After that he would surely share about himself/

Nico /How can you be so sure that he is… is like me? /

She smirked and winked /you know I can tell how people feel and that boy has it bad for you/

Nico snorted and looked down/I doubt it/

Piper lifted his chin and gave him a serious stare while signaling /trust me on this one. You may be the BPOH, but I’m the ruddy Venus, the goddess of love.  I know what I am talking about/

Nico’s face paled /What if he his freaked out by it. I can’t afford to lose him as a nurse and as a friend/

Piper /not a chance. The man that came all the way to the airbase to find out more about you.  He will not turn you away for something so trivial/

Nico sighed and she knew she won

Piper /Promise the next time you are alone you will tell him/

Nico grimaced and nodded, “Alright”

Piper /Good, say, I was expecting someone much more impassive. What is with all the talking? /

Nico /it is all I have anymore. Who would have thought eleven days of no taking would turn me into a chatterbox/

Piper chuckled /Yeah, what are the chances/

Nico /It is really good to see you Piper, Thank you for coming/

Piper /I’m not done with you yet/

Nico look sheepish and his face fell /I-- I’m sorry. I tried, to save him…. I wasn’t hurt. I pulled him out of the A/C, he was burned badly, but alive. Then the A/C exploded/

Piper looked at his hands cocooned in bandages, /that was what happened to your hands? Oh Nico/ tears welled in her eyes.

Nico / I don’t remember anymore, I guess that was when I got hurt. They found me unconscious in a tree. One last thing, on the way down, his last words were ‘my agigau, tohidu’/

That was when Piper started cried. She dropped her head onto his chest and began sobbing.  He lift his arms to cradle her as best he could without using his hands. His eyes swam with tears, too. William rushed over and rubbed circles onto her back.

After a while when Piper didn’t stop, William pointed to the IV to signal that it was time for Morphine and Nico said, “understood.” Slowly the scene faded as he float into forgetful sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Slang Dictionary~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
> A/C – Aircraft  
> Binder - Someone complaining  
> Clot - idiot; dumbass   
> Ruddy – Like bloody only less so  
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Cherokee Dictionary~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
> Agigau - Beloved  
> Tohidu - Good peace (state of body, mind and spirit)  
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End Dictionary~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
> I’ve posted a one shot set seven years after this story. Please check out “Secrets of a Wonderful Life – 1950” but be warned, it contains a spoiler about Nico’s and Will’s future relationship. Not that I think it is much of a surprise. I have kept other spoilers from this series (i.e. secrets to be revealed later) out of this one shot. This story will be somewhere around 20 chapter per my current plan.   
> Thank you, as always, for reading, kudos, and comments,  
> Anne


	11. Voices from the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Jason’s final letter to Nico with its surprising contents is revealed.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /text/ refers to Morse code  
>  _Italic_ refers to thoughts  
>  _ Italic and underline _ refers to letters  
>  On terms,  
> I have tried to use terms that would have common in the 1940s. Instead of gay I use the term queer that was used by homosexuals to identify themselves according to my research.

Piper was still there when Nico woke-up. She was having an animated conversation with William. He was careful to not give away he was awake. As he watched he interpreted the silent conversation based on body language. Piper was making Will incredibly edgy, no he was panicked. _So she must have asked and he is queer. And oh! It looks like he is!_

Now she was trying to persuade him of something. He kept shaking his head. _I supposed she is asking him to tell me about Jake._ When William nodded nervously and gulped. Nico groaned inwardly, _I really don’t want to hear a thesis on what he likes about Jake._ Piper smiled and patted William’s arm. He looked like he was about to face the firing squad.  _Damn it, she should not look so happy about this._

Instantly, as William looked down at him, he smiled with fondness through still palpably nervous. He spoke and Piper turned expectantly to look at Nico. He shifted and slightly yawned, trying not to over act his waking. 

William /Good afternoon/

Nico said, “Hi Will, Hi Piper.” William propped him up with the bolster and Nico’s skin tingled where William had touched him. _God, how I wish. But, I’ll never have him._

William suddenly was eager to leave as if he had sensed Nico’s wish and felt awkward, /do you need anything before I go?/

Nico answered morosely, “Go on, I’m fine.”

Piper was already adjusting the privacy screen before she sat again to talk. She fixed him with a ‘you’d better listen up’ look reminiscent of a strict teacher.

Piper /I’m not done with you yet. I didn’t come all this way to just cry on your shoulder/

Her eyes had a knowing edge that made Nico squirm with dread. That was when she reached down and pulled a letter from her uniform pocket.

Piper /Jason left something for you with me. It is a letter that he wanted you to have should anything happen to him. William said your eyes weren’t good enough to read yet. Besides Jason handwriting is awful. I’ll go slow, so just tell me if you need to pause/

_ My dear friend Nico, _

_ First, I need to apologize.  If you are reading this, then I was lost in battle and you would have done anything and everything to save me.  So, I regret not being strong enough to survive, especially if you were injured as a result of trying to rescue me.  But most of all, I’m sorry to leave you feeling alone. I always knew you were the stronger one, so prove it and be resilient. I have to ask you to help Piper. Help her to grieve and to recover and to move on when the time comes.  You also need to be strong enough to move on and really live once the war is over. Besides you aren’t really alone, you know. Leo and Piper are true friends, so please let them in.   _

Piper /How you holding up? /

Nico said “Alright” And he wondered, _He really thinks I’m strong? And how did he know what would happen in that final flight?_

_ You need to be free of the past before you can move on. I know that means getting over Percy’s death. The night you were in the brig for fighting Percy insisted we go out. We drank some, but mostly we talked. He had things he needed you to know, but he couldn’t tell you. He told me everything and made me promise to only tell you once you had moved on after he died. I argued that wasn’t right, but he was stubbornly adamant. I’ve had to live with being the only one who knew the truth since his death. I could not let it disappear if anything happened to me, so I wrote this letter for you. I regret all the times I ignored the truth and let you live with the lie he wrongly forced on you.  _

Piper looked at him to see how he was taking it. Nico drooped knowing the truth was Percy didn’t care for him. _How could Jason say that he didn’t know that particular truth?_

She gently stroked the side of his face and signaled /It will be alright Nico, just hold on for the rest/

_ Percy told me how he and Annabeth had known each other all their lives and everyone including him thought they belonged to each other unconditionally. He married her just before he started in the service. On his wedding night was when he realized the uncomfortable truth. He was not sexually attracted to her and it was all he could do to consummate their marriage. He told me he loved her dearly, but it was the love for close sister, not that for wife. He naively told her about his feelings, but that had been a mistake. She had truly loved him as a wife in every way and she was crushed by his admission. Their marriage was pretense and it scarred him deeply.  _

Nico gasped, _Annabeth was not his great love, the love of his life._ In astonishment he babbled, “But… But… She… Annabeth?”

Piper /I know it is shocking. You need to hear the rest/

_ In the first air strike on London Annabeth was killed. It was a devastating blow to him, especially considering his anguished shameful relief that the marriage was over. After that it was easier to play the intensely grieving husband than to admit his fault in not having given her the love she deserved. He felt both the guilt and the hole left by the one who had loved him most in the world being gone. _

Nico was on overload. _How could this be true? It is so outrageous. His love for Annabeth had been an undeniable constant, always._ Then a little flame of anger started. _What else was he hiding?_ He grimaced and growled out, “Go on Piper.”

_ Then you came along and he discovered what was missing from his life. He told me how sincerely and desperately he loved you. He was touched when you told him you loved him, but he could not admit to you his true feelings. He was sure he would eventually die in the war. Everyone he had flown with the phony war was gone; dead, missing, or grievously injured.  He did not want you to suffer as he had after Annabeth’s death. He did not want you to know you were without the one who loved you most in the world.  _

Nico started shaking, but he wasn’t sure if it was with disbelief or rage.  _How could this be true and the cold aloof man he couldn’t satisfy be a lie?  That bloody, fucking, bastard. How could he say that he loved me?_

He hissed deep breaths in and out through his teeth, as Piper stroked his face.

Piper /Nico, calm down. I know it is horrible what he did. At least you know now/

Nico /He knew I loved him and he still hurt me like this. He couldn’t really have loved me/

Piper /Can you clam down enough for me to read the rest? /

Regardless of how he out of control he felt, he did not want anyone but Piper to see this letter.  Nico squared his shoulders and huffed, “Go”

_ His secret was misguide, but he really believed that if you didn’t know he loved you, it would be easier for you to move on. I tried to tell him you needed to know no matter what happened. I told him that love was a gift to treasure and share together. I tried many ways to change his mind. He would only concede that if you both survived the war he would tell you then.  _

_ After that night he would come and talk to me about you when he felt it all too much. It was beautiful the way he spoke of you. I kept asking him to tell you, but I don’t think he ever did. Maybe he has and this will not be a surprise to you. I dearly hope so. _

_ You are a truly an amazing person and it has been my honor to have you as friend. Please forgive him for lying, it came from a desire to spare you pain. Don’t let his fucked up notions on hiding love continue to hurt you.  Know you are loveable and go on to live a full life beyond this bloody war. The best epitaph I can think of is to remember Percy and me in fondness, but don’t let our memories hold you back. Live life completely with your heart open; find love in all its forms and embrace it with both hands.  _

_ Love and friendship, _

_ Jason _

Nico focused on Jason’s friendship to get through the letter. Tears brimmed and spilled out his eyes. Piper was crying too. He choked out, “Piper, he was so wonderful. I miss him so much.” 

She nodded, but did not say anything.  She leaned over and hugged him tightly and he felt her tears wetting his gown shoulder. He gulped as tears dribbled down his cheek, “It was very brave of you to do this for me Piper. I can’t thank you enough.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, two chapters posted in two days, I’m so into this story. Still, give me at least a week to get the next up. So, let me know what you think of Percy’s back story.  
> Thank you for all you comments and kudos so far,  
> Anne


	12. Lies and Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (William and Nico process the visit from Piper.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /text/ refers to Morse code  
>  _Italic_ refers to thoughts

William hovered nearby Nico and Piper hugging each other and crying.  He stood back, just in Nico’s view.  After a nod from the raven haired man he noticed him signaling. 

Nico /Help Piper to leave, then come back. We needed to talk/

William pointed to his watch and then the IV. Nico shook his head. / Wait to give me that damn morphine. I need to be clear headed for a little longer/ He nodded in reply.

William rubbed Piper’s back and softly said, “Come on Piper, time to go.”  She raised her beautiful face that was now marred by tear tracks and red swollen eyes. She sniffed before kissing Nico lightly on the cheek.

Piper /time for me to go. I’ll be back as soon as I can. Be strong, he would of wanted that/

Nico simply nodded as she let out a heavy sigh and stood.  William took her arm to lead her away.

She paused at the entry way, dabbing her eyes and pulling herself together. Then she fixed William with a penetrating stare, “William, it is very important you are absolutely honest with Nico. Even if it is unpleasant you have to tell him the truth.” Her voice caught, “You see he is just hanging on right now. If you lie, even a little white lie, it could destroy him. Can you do that?”

William was taken aback. She hardly knew him. She certainly didn’t know him well enough to get answers for the questions she asked earlier today. Now this? _She doesn’t know me, but on the other hand, she does know Nico better than anyone else. And she is not asking for information. She only is asking me to be honest._

He answered,“It hadn’t ever occurred to me to lie about anything. I’m not the type of nurse to cover up a bad diagnoses.”

Piper disagreed, “That was not the type of truth I was talking about.”

William lift his hand palm up, “I knew what you meant, Piper. And I assure you I won’t tell him any falsehoods, no matter how minor. I promise.”

Piper smiled weakly, but said sincerely, “Thank you William, think about what I said before. I don’t need to know your answers, just tell him.”  She stood straight and proud as she walked away with a crumpled paper still held in her hand.

~***~

William returned to find Nico seething in anger and gritting his teeth in pain, but he started signaling as soon as William was in range. 

Nico /William this is very important to me. You need to give me an honest answer. None of that bedside manner crap/

William took the time to get into position facing him and put his hand carefully on his chest. He looked Nico squarely in the eye.

William eyes displayed an earnest intensity /I will never distort the truth just to save your feelings. If you were terminally ill, I would tell you straight out. I’m not just your nurse, I’m your friend/

Nico’s mouth dropped open in amazement, then he closed it and started signaling /so you would you say we are friends?  Would you be my friend even if I was not hurt and we met as equals? /

William gazed directly into his smoky glasses and saw the utter intensity of his gaze. He didn’t even blink as he signaled back /you are someone I would want for a friend no matter how we met. Even if I had to learn a new language, like Morse code, to even talk to you/

Then he smiled broadly at Nico’s astonished face and signaled, /Are you ready for the damn morphine now? /

Nico’s mouth pursed into a thin line as his eye brows contracted and he blushed.  William intense gaze still didn’t wavier, /Please say you believe me/

Nico huffed and said, “Alright, I believe you, so give me the damn medicine.”

As soon as William broke his gaze and stood, Nico’s face broke into a slim smile. William was delighted as he administered the medicine. _He wants me as a friend, I’ll important to him._

~***~

William stayed long after his shift was over to watch Nico sleep. He was so beautiful and peaceful asleep. He contemplated what Piper had said, ‘William, how would you describe your feelings for Nico?” He had been shocked, because her whole attitude implied she knew he was enamored with him. He did not know how to answer her. His apprehension probably made it even more obvious, because she pressed him. When she finally asked him to tell Nico how he felt he had readily agreed, mostly because he was relieved that he did not have to answer right then.

He pondered the talk about truth and lies from both Piper and Nico. Who had lied to him and caused him so much pain. Surely not Jason. Then again, maybe Piper and Jason and Nico had a much more complicated relationship than he thought. But that could not be, Nico had an easy relaxed way with her and had opened up as soon as she arrived. The more he thought about it, the more he decided it was this ‘Percy’ who had damaged Nico. That they had been a couple he had suspected even without Jake’s assurances of it. 

Lying was a touchy subject for him, too. He hated them and avoid telling any.  At the same time he had to live with lies every day. He decided he could tell Nico he was homosexual, but he had other lies that were not his to reveal.  He had to live with the lies his parents left with him. Some he only suspected before Lee confirmed them.  It was all those fucking mad men trying to take over the world and trying to make killers out of everyone. He seethed with anger. They took away the once quiet happy neighborhood streets from his parent’s youth. They took his parents and his youth and made him the responsible parent. The thought of his responsibilities created an automatic visceral response. He stood up and left Nico’s bedside. He had to take care for his sisters. He was all they had left.

~***~

The dream started in a darkened theater. He was there with Percy sitting next to him and looking down he saw that Percy draped an arm around him casually as he laughed at the screen.  He first looked at Percy’s happy face and then gazed up at the screen.

That was when the nightmare began. He was horrified to see himself as a baby in his mother’s arms crying. While Percy sniggered, “Stupid kid, did you see him just run up and hit the stove. Hilarious.” 

The scene changed to him at seven years old version being threatened by his father as he threw ornaments to floor near him.  Percy comment through his guffaws, “Yeah, see that’s what you get for spouting fascist propaganda.” When his mother rush into save him, Percy groaned disappointedly.

Next he was a skinny nine year old leaving for Canada as he hugged his parents goodbye and cried silently. Percy rolled his eyes saying, “Don’t be so melodramatic, it is not like you’ll never see them again.” Then he laughed and added, “No wait, you won’t ever see them again.” In his utter disbelief and horror he curled into a ball rocking in his seat. 

Nico knew what was coming and he was unable to speak as his eyes teared up. On the screen he sat at Bianca’s bed side day after day in a speed up film. Percy tutted, “This is boring. Would you just let her die already, so we can get onto the blood and guts?” And all too soon the macabre film of his life did move on.

This time it was Percy’s blood and guts on the screen, while Nico desperately worked on landing the plane and prayed it would not be too late. Percy laughed loudly, “Would you look at your face. You’d think it was the end of the world. You stupid boy, I wanted to die. It was the only way to set things right.”

Again he sat at Percy’s death bed and the Nico in the theater began to whimper. Percy shook him and for once look at him fully in the face with tear stained cheeks and shattered sea green eyes, “I’m not worth it, and _everything_ I’ve ever said is a _lie_. Especially when I said ‘you are just my favorite stress relief.’ I didn’t mean any of it.”

That was when Nico saw what he had only glimpsed and easily dismissed before. Percy’s face was earnest and eager while his eyes filled adoration and affectionate. He kissed him as if he could never get enough and lied, “You have to forget me. I never said _ I _ _loved you.”_

Nico woke suddenly in a cold sweat with his heart beating erratically.  He poked his head up to look around and remembered William was not on nightshifts anymore. He lay back down staring at into the dark shadows of the ceiling trying to get control of his heart beat. He tried to forget the horrible images from his past. He tried to hold on to that image of Percy in love. He bit his lip to keep from letting out a groan of longing. It was so real and it hurt so much. All of Percy’s lies were awful, but that look at the truth was the worst.

He did not even try to fall asleep again, it was too horrible to think he might end up in that dream again. Instead he tortured himself by remembering all his time with Percy. With this new information he now saw all the looks he had dismissed, the fevered touches he had discounted as lust, the affection he had thought was simply a need to cling to someone, anyone against the emptiness.

Then he was angry. Angry and irritated he had been so blind and had discounted everything pointing to Percy’s real feelings. Angry and incensed at Percy for hiding what was so important from him. Jason was right, love was a gift to share. He was glad to share his love with Percy even if, Percy was not there yet. Yet Percy left him to suffer with his silence, it was inexcusable. If anything, that lie alone could be what destroyed his love for the man. He brooded on, shifting back and forth between anger and astonishment at Percy’s love, only drifting to sleep once his next dose of morphine took hold. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me for Percy in the dream. Sorry, it was a nightmare after a traumatic day, it had to be bad.


	13. Angelic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Nico and William come to an understanding.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /text/ refers to Morse code  
>  _Italic_ refers to thoughts  
>  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Slang Dictionary~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
> Halibag - Handley Page Halifax bomber  
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End Dictionary~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

William awoke from his dreams feeling a deep longing that he could not deny, although now that he was awake he tried. His dreams were full of him and Nico together doing nothing more passionate than kissing. It was odd the intensity of his feelings since they were just simple slices of everyday life. They made dinner together, they worked in their garden, and they went to see a movie. Yet that was what he suddenly craved, someone to share with and stand beside as an equal. 

That was strange because he avoided anything that smacked of a relationship his whole adult life.  He had only ever had casual dalliances, but since Lee died he’d stopped even that.  He was determined to never, ever be close to anyone he could lose again.  Maybe it was all the years carrying so much all alone, but now he wanted Nico in a way he’d never expected. _God I’ve never felt so much and we haven’t even kissed._ He made the decision yesterday to tell Nico he was queer, now he wanted to tell him so much more _. Hold off,_ He told himself, _when he is better I can tell him, before then is reprehensible._ _He is my patient._

~***~

He hurried in that morning to talk to Nico. _I have to tell him now while I feel brave._ He had been rubbing his chest for a while trying to wake him. While he waited he gaze on his peaceful sleeping face with tender affection.

Nico dreamed of the exploding Halibag, but he watched from a vantage point somewhere outside his body. He pulled the cords, but Jason chute hadn’t opened. His saw his body go slack as it was hit with shrapnel and Jason fell from his limp arms when he blacked out. The force of the explosion pushed him far from the crash. He was pale and bleeding and unconscious as his head lolled in the parachute harness.  As he flopped under the crisp white parachute a soft blue mist surrounded him.  It partially materialized into a figure in blue flowing robes, holding him from behind around his chest and keeping his head steady. As the person came into focus he saw a blond haired man and he thought immediately of Will.  But then he became clear and he gasped.  It was Jason, seeming ethereal. _He is an angel_. 

That was when Nico’s perspective changed. He was being held by Jason as he floated down. The angel seemed to steer him toward the branches of a large oak tree. His ears buzzed with silence.

As sorrow and regret washed over him, he asked. “Jason, why would you help me? I let go of you,” although it felt as if he only thought the words.

Jason replied, but not with a voice. The words simply appeared in his mind, “Nico, it was just my time.  Know _you_ are meant to survive.”

Nico wondered, “How could I want to live anymore? Everyone I ever cared about is gone.”

“You’ll do it for Piper. She will need you for the biggest challenge of her life.  Promise me you’ll help her.” The words stirred something deep within him. Warmth fill his heart.  He sensed a vitality he hadn’t felt since…. Since before he lost Bianca. He was sure it was from the angel.

He felt the crushing loss of Jason as the angel began to tangle parachute lines into the tree branches. He questioned further, “But I can’t go on without you.”

“You can, you have so much to do, and so much to become.  _You will be whole_ again. And _love will_ find you.”  Jason’s words were certain and that filled Nico with hope. Another emotion he hadn’t felt in a long time. The angel seemed to be filling him with all these foreign emotions.

“For you, I’ll take care of Piper.” Nico declared with determination. Determination was something he knew and could hold onto. Jason’s form began to dissolve into the sky as rescue crews began to arrive below him. He tried to call after Jason, but he could not move a muscle and his eyes went dark. 

~***~

Nico woke with a calm confident feeling, as warmth spread from the hand rubbing his chest.  He slowly opened his eyes to see Will smiling fondly at him. He could actually see him clear as day. Then it struck him, he didn’t have his glasses on and the light didn’t hurt anymore.

Groggily Nico mumbled, “Will, the light?”  William rushed to get his glasses on him, missing the point entirely.

Nico tried to wake more fully, “No… Will… the light doesn’t hurt… and I can see you.”

William was just taking his hands away after placing the glasses on his face when he halted. He eagerly positioned his hand to speak, /you really can see again? /

Nico complained, “Yes, so take these off.” William did and smiled goofily into Nico’s eyes. “And before you ask, yes I can see you clearly. Prop me up will you?” William did as he was asked. That was when Nico noticed that he quavered slightly when he touched him. He was anxious.

William /tell me if I am still clear at each stop/ Then he slowly leaned back.

Nico said, “Clear” William continued to back up, stopping every four inches or so.

He made it just beyond an arm’s length when Nico said, “You’re starting to get fuzzy.” Will had a soppy toothy grin on his face that made Nico roll his eyes and say, “It’s only three feet.” Secretly he was elated and delighted by Will’s obvious pleasure.

Nico watched wide eyed as William sat back down in the chair and laid his hand on his chest to speak. /You have the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen/ Nico was expecting the huge smile, what shocked him was the adoration in Will’s eyes.  The brown eyed man’s mouth went dry and he blushed deeply. He quickly looked down to avoid the blonde’s eyes.

William reached two trembling fingers to rest under Nico’s chin and signaled, /Please don’t hide them from me/ then when Nico succumb to the gentle pull up he looked fully into his sunny cerulean eyes and his heart skittered.

William’s face had gone serious and his eyes were full of longing. Nico knew that look, he had worn it often enough around Percy. _How can he just show me all that? He is so beautifully honest._ He gulped but could not turn away. He really tried to say something, anything, “W-W—Wha--“ 

William didn’t break eye contact but he started to signal /Nico I – I have to tell you something. It is far too much to presume, but I just can’t hide it from you/ His hand started to tremble as he paused laying his hand flat.

Nico thought about his assumptions about Jake and in this very moment he dismissed them. The intense yearning in William’s startling eyes told a very different story.  Buoyed up by the dream of the angel he whispered, “Please tell me.” And gazed back trying to bravely display his own fledgling feelings.

William’s look became furtive and his hand trembled as he signaled, /I like you, a lot. And as more than just a friend…/ he paused and looked down suddenly before continuing /Y-You should know I’m queer/

Nico held still, just trying to parse the information. _I can’t believe he just came out with it like that. And he really does trust me with the truth. Can I be as fearless? I let Percy know how I felt and he hurt me._ His intense love and associated anxieties were something he had to hide from Percy for his own preservation. His feelings for Will were different. _I can’t say what is different, but I believe Will and I feel I can be open with him._

William went pale saying during his long pause. /If it makes you uncomfortable, I can switch with another nurse and train them in Morse code and…/

Nico smiled impishly at William. He whispered over his signals, “No, I’m the same.”

When William looked up at him questioningly he winked.  He had to ask, /You are queer? And you like me?/

Nico took a deep breath to steady his nerves and whispered, “Yes and undeniably yes.”

William flushed and grinned stupidly at him. Nico thought he would faint from the sweetness of his radiant smile.

Nico was not sure how long they looked at each other, but suddenly William jumped. He looked flustered as he signaled /I have to start my shift, but I’ll be back as soon as I can. I’ll have the vision specialist come over. I’ll be back with breakfast. Do you want to sit up or lay down?/

Nico smiled like he hadn’t in what felt like years, “I’m good just like this” William looked intently at him one last time, as if trying to assure himself it was real, before he turned away.

Nico had a hard time believing it, too.  _But he said it, he showed it, it is true._ Nico grinned, as he started to unknowingly hum his favorite upbeat big band tune, Duke Ellington’s ‘It Don’t Mean a Thing’, as it played in his head.

~***~

William found it hard to wrap his mind around it. _Oh god! I really shouldn’t have, but just told him and he…. he said he felt the same. Could it be possible?_

He took great joy in giving Nico what the nurses called the pre-rationing deluxe breakfast. He had the leeway to give it to recovering patients once during their stay.  It was a whole soft boiled egg, toast with real butter, and a cup of real coffee. William presented the meal with flourish saying he was now allowed to eat regular meals, but this first one was special. The raven haired man accepted the food gratefully as they smiled, smirked, and shot shy glances at each other. William lingered over wiping his chin, so he could rub circles along his jawline with his thumb. Nico closed his eyes with pleasure and hummed with satisfaction. 

William laughed and signaled /Careful, you are humming a bit too loudly/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I thought Nico and William would have an awkward, but cute discussion to admit they were gay while trying not to giving away that they liked each other. They had different ideas. Nico told me, “Talking things out is not my strong point.” Will said, “I’m sick of lying.” I guess they've got me there. And sorry to anyone that wanted some real PDA. But come on, it is 1943 and they are in the middle of a very public hospital ward with about 20 patients waiting for breakfast. 
> 
> Thank you for your comments and please keep them coming,  
> Anne


	14. Yin and Yang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Nico and Will talk. Nico recalls what is was like when things started with Percy.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****Warning DubCon Kissing and Slash****  
> /text/ refers to Morse code  
>  _Italic_ refers to thoughts

The next day William brought out Nico’s duffle bag of personal belongings. Nico eyed it warily like it might explode.

Nico warningly said, “The only thing I want out of there is my skull ring.  It is located in a small wooden box.”

William dutifully searched the bag. Besides his uniforms and a book, he had a small black photo album. William gentle lifted out the album, placing it on the side table.

Nico barked, “Don’t you dare look in that photo album!”

William looked shocked at his sharp reply, /Why not?/

Nico scowled, “Just don’t, I….”  His stomach felt leaden at the thought of those pictures, “Please don’t.”

William looked appalled, then his face softened, /Alright, I won’t look/ He place the album back and finally brought out the box.  /I can open this right? /

Nico grimaced and said, “Just take out the ring and don’t ask me about the rest.”

He was careful to lift the lid in such a way that it hid the contents from Nico’s view.  William opened the small box it had the silver skull ring, a nondescript key, and a long curly lock of hair tied with a ribbon. It was the same color as Nico’s hair, maybe it was his sister’s or mother’s. The key could be a house key, but William thought it had been a long time since he lived in a house. The worn ring was one continuous piece of tarnished silver shaped into the face of a grinning skull. William held it up to Nico and he gave a wan smile. 

He stared at the ring as if it was a movie and began speaking, “My sister bought it for me. It was early spring and I begged my mother to take us to the market. Spring was when the market always seemed the most vibrant and alive. I already spent my Easter money on my favorite, black licorice. We came across a stall selling these rings and I was ecstatic. I was an eager nine year old who wanted to be a pirate just like Long John Silver. I begged my mother, but she laughed saying she did not want to lose me to the sea at such a young age. Bianca now that she was twelve liked to show her maturity by indulging me, so she bought it for me.

“We went home so I could dress up and play the evil pirate in the garden. My mother was the damsel in distress and she played up her shock at my fearsome looks and sword play. Bianca played the hero, saying I would never win, but she let me win anyway.” His voice cracked on the last few words and he looked sadly at the ring, “It was not that long after that we left for Canada. I wore this ring all through school, but put it away when she…” He then deliberately look away from the ring into William’s compassionate face, “I want to wear it again. Can you string it on a cord for me?”

William gazed back with tenderness, /I can bring one tomorrow/

Nico gave him a fleeting nod and looked miserable. William hesitated before deciding to share a story of his own to set him at ease.  It was harder than he would have thought to get started.

William /I miss my brothers, too. When I was about ten they would let me play with them.  Lee was six years older and Michael was four years older.  That was back when I was coddled as the littlest boy. I didn’t know that time would be so short/

William sighed, / We played lead soldiers. Lee would team with me against Michael, the best at tactics. We had epic battles spread over the fallow garden in the fall. We spent hours setting up to have an intense, but short battle.  Michael usually won, mostly because Lee would indulge my stupid ideas. One time though, I hid a gunner in just the right spot and won the battle for us. Lee lifted me onto his shoulders and carried me around the yard shouting a victory cry.  Then he presented me with the soldier like it was a medal of honor. I have that one soldier hidden away in a drawer. The rest went to the metal drive/

Nico asked, “Can I see it?”  William shifted his look away from Nico, something he tried not to do given that he could not hear him.  Then he felt a slight tremble in the hand still resting on the bare chest. 

“Will?” He asked tentatively.

William seemed to brace himself before he turned back and signaled /sometime/ although seeing that solider again was the last thing he wanted to do.

~***~

Getting to know someone this way was completely new to Nico. Even in his friendship with Jason it was more about getting Nico out of his brooding cloud so he could go on. They never went further in back than Percy. 

Just the thought of Percy brought up a haze of conflicting memories and anguish. Percy was all about the physical and he had deflected almost any conversation. He had thought of Percy as nymphomaniac that had just turned to him as a crutch. God damn that green eyed man could never get enough sex and desperately clung to him afterwards. Now he saw all the signs that belied Percy’s real feelings. The way his eyes always followed him, his urgency yet lingering kisses and touches, and the way he insisted on snuggling together afterward. This usually meant Nico would fall asleep and he was fearful they would get caught. 

If he had known the truth for just one minute it would have made all the difference in the world. But the older man had been clever at hiding his feelings and playing on Nico’s ignominy. He had even done so on his death bed. He recalled with agony their first time. 

They had been drinking a lot after a particularly dismal bomb raid where Ethan Nakamura, the tail gunner was terminally injured and slowly dying. They could not get to him due to the aircraft’s damage, but they had to listen to his final ramblings on the long flight back. He died shortly before they landed. He was only eighteen and he dreamed of bringing the world back into balance.

They almost always went to the bar, but that night was an epic drinking session. As Percy became drunker he got clingy. Tonight he hung off Nico’s shoulders. Nico hardly showed his inebriation but was just more acerbic. Usually he would end up in a fight, but now that he had been there four months everyone knew to give him a wide berth. So tonight he was itching for a fight and lashed out at Percy who was leaning his head on his shoulder.

 “Get your carrion breath out of my face,” He scoffed.

He larger man moved away only to lean back a few moments later and adding his arm around the younger man’s shoulders.

“You should be hugging a toilet, not me.” Nico sneered.

“Oh, I know what I’m doing.” He said with bravo and added his other arm around Nico.

“I’m not a girl you fucking two beer queer” He hissed quietly and jabbed him in the ribs with his elbow.

Percy smiled widely and just pulled him closer whispering, “You just can’t handle someone of my virility.”

That made the smaller man snap. He grabbed his forearm and twisted it behind his back, spinning the green eyed man around as he did so. Then he pushed him away say, “Get the fuck off me.” That got the attention of everyone in the bar.

Percy turned back right away and standing over the brown eyed boy he said, “You are asking for a pounding my BPOH (pronounced ‘B’-poh)”

The crowd went silent, watching as Nico got off his stool. He stood about four inches shorter than Percy, but he was unequivocally threatening. He spoke in a cold deathly tone, “Percy, you are so going to lose. You’d better back down now, if you know what’s good for you.” Percy simply smiled wickedly at him.

The bar crowd murmured softly as the two stared each other down. Jason, who was plastered, shouted into the quiet bar, “Nico take your pigeon outside. I’m tired of having to clean up your messes.”  He did not seem to notice it was Percy. The rest of the bar yelled in agreement. 

Percy gave him a smug smirk and before Nico knew it Percy was dragging him out of the bar grasping his upper arm tightly.  Nico knew when he hit the cool night air that he did not want to fight Percy, but maybe he’d pass out first. He thought they would stop in the road in front of the bar, but Percy kept walking intently. 

Finally they stopped at a store room and slipped inside. Percy flung Nico into the room as he locked the door and turned on the light. Nico stumbled, but came up into a defensive stance in the middle of the open area. Percy came into the light with a mischievous grin and lunged at Nico. The brown eyed boy deftly avoid the larger man’s attack and punched him in the side. The green eyed male shook off the attack, backing up. He came at him several more times during which the smaller man alternating punches to his side and face. In fact the older man seemed more intent on tackling Nico then on hitting. When Percy was finally able to get his arms around Nico and pull him down he took care to use his hand to protect the back of Nico’s head from hitting the floor. Still the fall knocked the wind out of him. 

Before the younger man could regain his breath, Percy was straddling him holding his hands above his head panting into his angry face. As soon as Nico drew in a breath, Percy forcefully kissed him. Nico’s drunken mind fizzled out with a pop. He had always dream of Percy kissing him, but that had included mutual desire. Percy kissed like a bully, taking what he wanted. He tasked of blood and beer and something like sea water. Nico thought, _this is wrong in so many ways_.  

Percy pulled back to smile impishly down at Nico. “Nico, I’ve been watching. I know,” he sang teasingly.

Nico looked into his shameless sea green eyes and spat back, “Get the fuck off me!”  He bucked his hips throwing the larger man off balance. Then Nico scooted away clutching his knees to his chest and shouted, “And what makes you think you can attack me like that? Get away, you…you queer!” 

Percy crawled over towards him slowly but kept his distance. He sat back on his knees leaning eagerly forward. “Don’t pretend Nico. Let me have another taste?”

He was seething, _how dare he presume he can just make a pass. I’ve stayed away for so long and now all the sudden he wants me. What a fucking drunken liar and he’d just regret it in the morning._ “No, come near me and I’ll hit you again.” And Nico crouched, raising his arms.

Percy smiled agreeably, “Sure, I like it rough.” Nico hit him square in the jaw. The larger man fell back, spit blood, but did not fall down. He moved a few steps back but face him again with, if possible, more desire, “yup, you are perfect. Come on Nico, give me a go.”

Nico looked at him incredulously as he backed away and then slid down a stack of boxes to sit on the ground. His head was spinning, he couldn’t think clearly. _What can I do now? That hit should have knocked him out cold. Instead he is just more worked up._ Percy lowered himself down and approached slowly like he was a wild animal about to bolt. He gestured to the door as if inviting him to escape, but Nico just looked at him flustered and confused. A small voice inside said, _do it, you want him and he probably won’t remember._

Percy pause with his hands out about to cup Nico’s cheeks. Nico looked deep into his eyes that sparkled like the sun on the sea and all he saw was desire. Then for the first time ever he let go of his reserve. He smashed his lips into Percy’s and flung his arms around him to pull him closer. Instinct took over and he kissed feverously. Percy responded with just as much enthusiasm.

Before Nico could even process what was happening they were naked on a blanket Percy had spread out for them. They only paused when Percy brought out a small bottle of oil. Nico wondered: _How did he get that? Could he have planned this?_ But those thoughts disappeared as soon as Percy started stroking his member rough and fast. Percy prepared himself and then impaled himself on Nico. It was harsh and frantic and desperate. The green eyed man moaned shamelessly each time he slammed down onto him and swore as he came just before Nico.

Afterwards Nico panted while coming down from the organism. He laid on the blanket on the floor feeling cold and ashamed. This was not how he envisioned this happening. This was all as all wrong, so raw and primal. He had to get away before he broke down.

He was starting to get up as Percy grabbed his wrist, “Don’t go.”

Nico was bewildered looking around the semi-dark supply room for his clothes.

“Stay for a while, I’m cold…” Percy pleaded with his soft round sea green eyes. “I need you.”

Nico groaned, but laid back down. Percy circled arms around his chest and pulled him tight. “For a while I forgot about everything accept you.”

He leaned his head down to nestle into his neck lightly peppering it with kisses. Between the kisses he said softly, “That was fucking fantastic. Say you’ll let me make love to you again.”

Nico wonder who this was next to him, because the Percy he just had sex with could not be saying this, “Um, yeah.” He cringed at his obvious eagerness.

“Percy, I….” Nico started without really knowing what to say. It was all so complicated and he was still drunk.  

“Hey, promise me that this won’t get messy. Promise no attachments, alight?” The older man wheedled.

No matter what it cost him, Nico had to have this softer Percy again. “Um… Alright if that is the way you want it.” Nico agreed without any real hope of anything more. That was when he sold himself to hell as a fuck toy for the man he loved. 

Now he knew the truth. Percy had really wanted him, but could not say it. Maybe he could forgive that first night, but he had kept after him until it was almost every night they slept together. Percy was insatiable and he wanted to do it all, top, bottom and whatever else he could think of. When Nico finally manned up enough to tell him how he felt he was cruel.

“What if I said I loved you?” he asked tentatively after a particularly gentle round of oral sex.

“What if _you_ said _I hate you_?” Percy countered with an unreadable expression.

His heart plummeted and he started to tremble in fear. _What if Percy said he hated me? Then again maybe he doesn’t care enough to hate me._

Nico came back to hear Percy warning, “Nico, you don’t want to go there.” He paused but the brown eyes just stared brokenly at him.  Percy went on, “If you knew, you would hate me. I can truly say you are my favorite thing in a horrible world. Isn’t that enough?”

And the younger man accepted it in relief. He took in all his lies, so double sided now, and swallowed them. He felt the hollow used feeling that sex with Percy left him with only now it was stronger than ever. Then he had forgiven him thinking he was in so much pain he couldn’t give anything more. 

_But now how do I feel_?  He almost growled _. What a simpleton I am. Percy forced me to think he didn’t care, just to protect his precious pride._ _He took my innocence and my love, and demolished them both leaving me a hollow shell._

~***~

Nico was grinding his teeth deep in thought when William arrived that morning. He was carrying two branches of flowering lilac in a small metal kidney shaped bowl.  He cradled the flowers under Nico’s nose as the dark haired man lifted his head and supported himself on one elbow to get a better view.  William used his other hand to lift Nico’s forearm and place a pillow under his bandaged hand.

Nico immediately smiled before inhaled the fresh floral scent. “My mother loved these, she flooded the house with these when they were in season.”

He suddenly felt light as a feather. He chuckled and nodded to his toes. /My mother taught me what flowers mean. Lilac means ‘First Emotions of Love’/

William smiled shyly at Nico, / I just knew my mother liked them too. But I like them better now that I know what they mean/

The smaller man just melted at William’s obvious innocence. _I will cherish this,_ he thought. Nico winked at him and softly said, “What are you trying to say Will?”

William blushed a little bit more and changed the subject, /You know Italian right? Can you say something in Italian? /

Nico said, “Sono abbagliato da te.” 

William /That was beautiful, what does it mean? /

Nico /I was afraid you would ask that. It’s a little embarrassing, but it means ‘I am dazzled by you.’/

William bit his lip as he gaze longingly at him, /God I wish I could kiss you/

It was Nico’s turn to blush, he reveled in it, and took another long sniff at the flowers.

William got flustered, /Right, I have new treatment orders. Today you get X-rays and you need to start exercises/

Nico said, “I don’t think I can do any pushups.”

William /That just means I’ll help you move your joints to say flexible. When you can sit up on your own I can take you around in a wheelchair/

Nico asked eagerly, “Can I go to the garden?”

William hesitated /that will be tricky, but I think I can swing it, after a few trips around the hospital/

Nico casually replied, “Then it is a date.” And winked at a stunned William. That had the blonde’s face turning red again. He thought how cute Will was when embarrassed.

William glance around just moving his eyes to make sure nobody was watching. Then he leaned over Nico’s face to ‘examine’ the bandage around his head.  Nico held very still while his heart beat thunderously. William careful pulled back just brushing his lips lightly over Nico’s cheek.

Nico was stunned how his cheek burned at the light touch.

William grinned triumphantly as he signaled, /so I get my kiss after all. That was for asking me out. And yes, I’d love to have a date in the garden/

At that Nico laid back unable to support himself any longer, “god, you’re so… damn”

William grinned wider, but did not laugh, /You have such a way with words, my dear Nico/

Nico said in a low seductive tone, “Put your wrist over my mouth.”

William looked confused, but did as he was told /Wha…/

Then Nico’s tongue curled into the soft skin at his wrist. The blonde’s eyes went wide and then went into a heavy lidded lustful look. He bit his lip as he pressed his arm against the other’s mouth. Nico savored the feel of his soft skin and throbbing pulse point as he alternated complicated tongue movements and light nibbles. Nico notice the hand rubbing his chest was tightly gripping him and then relaxing. Then he took it up a notch by sucking the skin into his mouth while kneading it with his teeth and tongue. The blonde was delicious. William fought to keep his eyes open, but they rolled back and he gave a long blink at the same time his nails pressed into the pale chest. Nico released him when his skin was bright red, but not bruised enough to leave a mark.

William let out a deep breath and signaled /damn you are so utterly amazing/

Nico smiled knowing this felt right in so many beautifully complicated ways. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I finally got this long chapter posted. Can you spot all the Yin and Yang’s?  
> Thanks for all the comments and kudos,  
> Anne


	15. Derelict Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Nico gets two gifts and then asks for something he really does want to know.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /text/ refers to Morse code  
>  _Italic_ refers to thoughts

The next time William came by he was carrying a small rectangular box and bag which he set on the table before turning to Nico.

Nico asked, “So what ya got? If I’m lucky it is something sweet to eat, if not it is a new torture device dreamed up by Dr. Quintus.” 

William ignored his remarks, instead the blonde ran his fingertips lightly down from Nico’s ear, along his jaw line, and slowly down his neck to lay on his hand on his sternum. The dark hair man shivered slightly, grinning at Will. 

William /Nice guess, but both are wrong. I’ll help you sit up/ He put his other hand behind Nico’s shoulder blades to help him up. /They are gifts, well, one is/

Nico said teasingly, “Really, you didn’t have to get me anything.”

William /Ah, they are not from me, but one is from an admirer/

Nico said, “So tell me.”

William /The first is medical/ 

He pulled out the rectangular box and opened it to reveal a new pair of glasses. They were thankfully clear lenses, but still very thick with bulky black frames.  Regardless of the less than attractive look, Nico was eager to try them on. During the exam, Nico had a glimpsed parts of the room further away than his bed. He hoped to have normal vision with the glasses.

William slipped the glasses on as Nico’s face lit up, “Will, I can see everything!” He chuckled as he looked all around the room and at the ceiling. He looked out the windows that were partially covered by a large bushes full of pink and white flowers. “Azaleas!” Will grinned widely at him.

William /Now for the second. Your admirer made you a necklace worthy of a pirate king/

Nico was confused, “But I don’t know anyone but you.”

William /you have a fan who you have never met.  Of course I know you are dashing, but she is expect more of a movie version of dashing/

Nico just looked more mystified. William pulled out a black ribbon necklace with colored glass beads knotted in place every inch or so. 

William /I was asking for a cord when Lucy asked what it was for.  As soon as she knew it was for you, she had to make this herself/

Nico protested, “But how does she even know me?”

William / How soon they forget. I taught her Morse code as a game when I was learning it. Now we use it all the time. Especially during air raids. She gets scared, but signaling has helped a lot. I started telling her stories with you as the hero during air raids. Now she sees you as a swashbuckling pirate and a gallant airman.”

Nico was touched, “She really made this just for me?”

William /yes, Katie help just a bit with the clasp/

William reach under the bed to pull the box out of the duffle bag and then the ring out of the box. He carefully threaded the ring on the necklace and wrap his arms around Nico’s neck to fasten the clasp. He playfully brushed his nose against the brown eyed man’s before backing away. Then he held up the ring as strung on the ribbon for Nico to see as he repositioned his hand on his chest.

William /now you can wear your sister’s gift, close to your heart as it hangs from my sister’s necklace/

The Italian membered his loving sister and thought about little Lucy working on the necklace. His memory flash an image of Bianca and his mother making play jewelry from when he was rather small. A surge of warmth flowed through him to think about Lucy doing the same thing just last night.

Nico signaled /Will I think this means we belong together/

William gazed intently at him and Nico regarded him.  He marveled at the sparkling blue eyes and the affection they revealed. He gulp and his face flushed. William cupped his chin rubbing his cheek with a thumb.

William /I wish we were alone/

Nico nodded in agreement biting his lip.

~***~

Nico began reciting his baseline answers dully as Dr. Quintus approached and sat down.  He held up his hand in a halt gesture. He was baffle as he watched the doctor writing.  He held up the sign, “No more baselines needed. Your X-rays show sufficient healing and your morphine dose is going down starting tomorrow. I’m checking your range of motion tonight, so you get a full dose when we are done. Lean forward.”

Nico leaned forward from his sitting position to allow access to the back of his head. As the doctor poked around under the bandage, Nico looked down at his heavily wrapped hands. His stomach twisted.

A touch of his shoulder had him leaning back. Then Dr. Quintus took his right leg and carefully moved it into a bent position. Nico winced with pain, but made no noise. He forlornly perceived the woefully limited motion. Next the doctor moved to his right hand putting himself in Nico’s field of view with his right hand on a pillow on his lap.

Nico forced himself to say, “I want to see my hands.” The doctor turned giving him a sharp lengthy stare. Nico wondered if his fear showed, but to turning away was not an option. A determination rose up within him and he stared back defiantly.

The doctor nodded, he moved the pillow onto Nico’s lap and laid his bandaged hand on it. He slowly and carefully removed the gauze wrappings slowing revealing the wasted remains of his right hand.  Nico felt the gentle touches to his hand and the sting of the fresh air on the raw skin. _No what use to be his skin_ he corrected himself. He began to sweat and his eyes went wide as the new glasses allowed him to see every detail.  What he saw was worse than he could never have imagined.  Even after three weeks his hands were horrific.  What little skin had regenerated was pale smooth scar tissue in mottled skin tones. About half, mostly the palm was puss filled red cavities that scooped deep into the muscles with flecks of white. _Could that be my bone or is it just tendons?_ He felt the pain as a dull background clamor, but with a detached sensation as if he was only watching someone else. Blank of emotion he thought. _It might be better to just have a hooks instead._

Dr. Quintus tapped his chest and then lifted his chin to break his line of site.  He held a sign up, “Don’t look down. Just copy what I do with my hand.”  He place his beautiful perfect wrinkled and calloused hand up in front of Nico and slowly waved his finger side to side.

Nico paused wondering; _why should I even try?_ Then a small part of him said, _you didn’t quit when Percy died and you’re not quitting now._ The voice sound suspiciously like Jason’s. Nico came back to himself and sat up straighter. He found it much harder to do than he would have ever expected. At least before he saw the wasted remains of his hands. He gritting his teeth to do what was just a little twitch.  Next the doctor curled his index finger into his palm. That motion was even harder and he was barely able to get a curve. But that slight movement brought tears to the corners of his eyes. They painstakingly went through each finger and his thumb, some worse some better. The doctor curled his palm.  Nico whimpered as he tried with tears flowing freely down his cheeks. He had the suspicion he had not moved at all.

He focused on the doctor’s absorbed blank face as he worked. He gave away none of his conclusions.  It reminded him of Leo intent over an engine problem. He had to ask, “Will it ever work again?”

Dr. Quintus did not answer right away, but finished his study and made some notes before holding up his reply. “Partial motion at best. Let’s see the left.”

Nico felt the bottom drop out and the ground rushing to meet him. _Partial motion, fuck he was going to have claws instead of hands. _He fought to keep despair from overwhelming him as he was bandage back up. Dr. Quintus move around to his left side and began the process all over again. He watched it all from a detached non-emotional vantage point inside of himself. Just like he experienced the preparations for Bianca’s funeral and burial. Nico was surprised when the left did not look quite as bad, _but maybe I’m just desensitized to it._ When they did the motion checks it did seem to have more flexibility. _It is still a god damn claw._

Finally Dr. Quintus finished his notes and gave him the summary, “Your broken bones are healing. Your hands have no broken or slivered bones. You left hand is better than your right, but both will have limited motion. You are good candidate for the Guinea Pig Club.”

Nico’s free falling mind latched on to the last few words, “What? Wait!”

Dr. Quintus quickly wrote, “At Queen Victoria Hospital they specialize in burns and reconstruction. They have some experimental treatments that may help.”

Unbidden a small seed of hope swelled in him. Hadn’t he heard about a friend of Jason’s getting a new face after a flash burn? He probed, “So, if I’m a guinea pig, I might get my hands back?”

The doctor wrote back, “I’ll get the specialist in to see you and the name is just a joke by the patients.” Then he busied himself giving him his next morphine dose. 

Nico felt something was eluded him but sneaking up fast. After his mother and father’s disappearances. He dreamed of them both, but particularly of his mother, showing up at school as if she had just gotten lost. It wasn’t until Bianca told him the truth that he realized they both had to be dead. Then with Bianca’s death he had been hollowed out like a shell. He had always been attempting to forget the past or bracing himself to do his duty for his crew. Past and future had no meaning. Now he didn’t have anything. He couldn’t hear, he would always limp, and he had hooks for hands.  He was a loose floating thread, unimportant, forgotten, and useless. _Yet why from such a bleak situation am I so eager to be a guinea pig?_

As the morphine took hold he was confused and unable to focus on anything.  Soon, he drifted into a dream where Will greeted him loudly with hug and led him inside the cottage saying, “Welcome home.”  He did not recall the dream in the morning.

~***~

The next day when William came in with a bundle of bright multi colored daisies. He found Nico brooding and pensive. He barely noticed when William greeted him and he did not speak.

William /What happened?/

Nico quietly said with his face turned away, “Why would you want to have anything to do with me? I’m damaged goods in every sense of the word.”

William /there is much more to you than your injuries/

Nico kept his eyes averted and didn’t answer, it was beginning to irritation William.

William /really, I’m a nurse. I can handle whatever happens with you long term/

He still didn’t move. The blonde pursed his lips and tried another tactic.

William /If I had any trouble taking care of someone I wouldn’t have invited Jake to live with me when he is released/

Nico’s melancholy vanish in a flash to be replaced by a sharp glare and a snarled, “What? Jake! I thought…..”  At that he closed his eyes as if in sudden sharp pain, before he blanched and went still.

William gently gripped his chest and cupped a cheek with the other hand /Nico, what is wrong? /

He shook his head as a few tears squeezed out from under his eyes.

William /You promised you would always talk to me/

Nico kept his eyes closed.  His face was etched with unbearable sadness in cold marble. He said despondently, “I’m broken inside too. You’re better off with him.”

William understood in a flash and was infuriated /I have no interest in him. Look at me! / And he turned Nico’s cupped cheek, rubbing his thumb over the dampness drying there. Nico finally opened his eyes but flinched at William’s hostile stare. Still he resolutely kept his shattered eyes on William’s. 

William glowered back at him as he signaled /Listen you idiot. I am the damaged one for your information. _You_ should be running away from _me_. I have been left alone for the past five years working twelve hour days and taking care of my sisters all alone. You know Lucy was just three and Ellen was seven.  Katie was only eleven, but she worked her heart out to care for them keeping things light and happy.  Then every night she would cry on my shoulder saying it was too hard and missing mom  & dad. I had to be the strong one. I couldn’t let it get to me. Not even when Lee died and all I wanted to do was succumb to my despair/

He was panting in rage and resentment, but he couldn’t stop himself now that he was started, / You know how old I was then? When my Mother thought _I_ was ready to take it all on alone? She selfishly left me alone at just fifteen. She couldn’t live without my father, but she cheerfully screwed over my life.  And I let her do it. I played up my maturity because I wanted to be just like Lee. Perfect fucking golden Lee. And I kept it up knowing he would be back when this shitty war was over. I accepted that Mom and Michael were at risk, but I always thought Lee was safe. He was a doctor, he should have been protected, but _no_. He got some African disease and fucking died on me. After that I was truly abandoned at just fucking eighteen.  So for the last two years I’ve been just going thought the motions. I have to protect my sisters, but I never go out with friends. I heal people, but I never let them touch me. I vowed to never ever to let anyone touch my heart again/

William’s face flushed and contorted as tears began to roll down his cheeks, but he kept on, like he was lancing a wound. He focused on the ring and necklace; _just yesterday Nico said it meant they belonged together._ His hand shuttered slightly has he continued tapping / And then you show up and it was like lightning. I fall for you like a god damn school girl. I don’t want to be alone anymore. I want everything with you. I can’t even wait until you’re better to tell you. I can’t stop and I don’t even want to/

 _Nico had to go and ruin it all. He had to say ‘I’m leaving you for your own good’. He was not swallowing that bullshit ever again._ At that the blonde felt himself turn icy cold as he drummed the final words hard and fast on Nico’s chest /Now you tell me I’m better off without out you. Well _fuck you_ Nico Angle/ William jerked up wiping his tears and stalked away before he completely lost control and started shouting at a deaf man. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The “Guinea Pig Club” is real. It is an inspiring story of brave men overcoming horrific injuries due to the innovation and holistic care of one doctor and those who supported his work. 
> 
> It's Fiction Notice: This story and its characters are not intended to resemblance any actual members of the Guinea Pig Club. All characters, situations, and medical treatments are my own fictional creations.


	16. Animosity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (William broods as Nico gets visitors.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /text/ refers to Morse code  
>  _Italic_ refers to thoughts

****

**_(Last time)_ **

_William drummed the final words hard and fast on Nico’s chest /Now you tell me I’m better off without out you. Well fuck you Nico Angle/ He jerked up wiping his tears and stalked away._

Nico felt the taps of those words like sharp needles stabbing his heart. This was unreal, Will, sweet gentle Will, told him off. He knew by the constriction of his throat, that he had been an asinine fool. He had hurt his dear Will.

He was stunned, William was only twenty, but _shit_ he had been a parent to his three sisters since he was _only fucking_ fifteen. _All I had to do at that age was keep up in boot camp._ He could see easily understand the way he had locked his heart away as his family died. He did about the same when Bianca died, he just did what he was told, waiting for the war to take him away from it all. _I thought I was the one fractured._ That man had suffered acutely but he healed other. _How did he do it?_

Then he thought about his only major relationship. Just getting together with Percy was a fluke. If Percy had never made a move he wouldn’t have bothered. _I never thought I had a chance._ In a flash he realized this situation was the same. He would have never made a move, if Will had not confessed first. _I just assumed he was out of my class._

Incredibly the blonde had formed an attachment to him without any encouragement. He had just throw it away like it was sweet fuck all. _How could I be so callous and cruel in the face of such affection?_  He would not ruin that which was freely given, _like Percy had_. He would win back William, no matter the price or how long it took.

~***~

When he next saw William he could not believe he was the same person. He eyes were vacant and skin ashen.  He moved mechanically as if dazed. His hand was cold when he placed it on his chest over the top of his gown. _He was never cold._ He wouldn’t look him in the face as he signaled /Bandage change/

Nico pleaded anxiously, “Will, I’m sorry. I was stupid and wrong. Please talk to me.” When he got no reply he tried, “Really, I was wrong. I should not have said that. I won’t doubt you again.”

William stilled his motions and reached for his chest to reply, /Watch out, it will get noticed if you keep after me like that/

Nico blanched, did he sound as needy and desperate as he felt? /Will please listen to me. I really like you. Please give me a chance and I won’t ever let you go/

The blonde did not even look at his toes. The bastard was ignoring him. His bitterness flared and provoked him to kick out at William with his left leg. He had been replacing the bandages on his left hand. William staggered back and inadvertently pulled firmly on the bandages of his damaged hand.  Nico cried out and William was back in a flash to repair the damage. His sobs alerted the on call doctor and another nurse. As they took over and William drifted away. _Shit. I’m an imbecil and in fucking pain._

~***~

He next woke to the same desolate thoughts with stale tears in his eyes from when he fell asleep. His dear sweet William had been wounded too deeply by him. He keep his eyes shut to close out the world that now too intensely silent and full of flat meaningless images. The ghost like feeling of someone near him made his eyes snap open defensively. William was standing at the foot of the bed, arms crossed, and face impassive with eyes that were remote as stars.

Nico quickly began signaling / Will please listen to me. I really like you. Please give me a chance and I won’t ever let you go/

The unsympathetic blonde slowly walked around his right side as Nico’s heart drummed overly loudly and a leaden dread filled his stomach. He placed his cold hand over his gown onto his chest.

William /This is what you wanted and you got it/

Nico /No, I don’t want it. I-I just couldn’t believe it. Nobody ever liked me before you/

His look went from remote to uncharacteristic hostile with his teeth were bared.

William /don’t lie. I know about Percy/

Nico had to close his eyes before he forced himself to dredge up the unpleasant truth. He purposely open and unveiled his eyes to show all his pain and vulnerability with the hope it would convey his honesty. He trembled as he signaled.  

Nico /The truth is Percy used me. I let him take everything I had: my love and my innocence/

William remained motionless. His eyes were distant and untouchable.

William /Not my problem/

Nico allowed his suffering to show as tears gathered in the corner of his eyes

Nico /Please William, you are the only sunshine in my life/

William /No, this for the best. I put you in for different nurse. You don’t have to see me again/

Then he promptly lifted his hand, stood and turned his back to leave. Nico’s head turned to follow his motion along the ward. He whimpered quietly, “No! Please… don’t go!”

William gave no sign he heard and casually began caring for another patient about six beds down. The now desolate Nico watched intently, but the only indication the blonde knew Nico was there was his steadfast determination not to look his way.  Nico let the physical pain of less morphine steep through to mingle with his internal anguish.  He fell back into the sweet fuck all abyss of hollowness that raced up to greet him.

~***~

The next day a new nurse used notes to communicate with him as she tended his wounds. She hardly seemed to see him, or perhaps that was a projection of how he felt. The pain in his hand was much more intense, especially the left. He found he could hardly string together more than a few coherent thoughts, not that he tried.  He was left floating is a sea of snippets from his life that infuriating seemed to focus on the past two weeks with Will. 

  *          His first sight of purple and white crocuses
  *          The sunny heat of Will’s warm hand, flat on his chest as he pressed in with his fingertips
  *          The dream of Jason as an angel saying “ _You will be whole_ again. And _love will_ find you.”
  *          When William leaned in and pressed his cheek to Nico’s cheek
  *          William signaling /I promise I won’t give up on you, Nico/
  *          Piper smiling and patting William’s arm while he looked like he was about to face the firing squad
  *          William pale as Nico whispered, “No, I’m the same.”
  *          William grinning triumphantly as he signaled, /Yes, I’d love to have a date in the garden/
  *          The feel of his tongue on Will’s skin



From an uneasy sleep he felt a man’s hand land on his chest. He brightened, but at the same moment as he opened his eyes, he knew it wasn’t William.

“What do you want Jake?” he asked aggressively.

Jake /I want to know why you broke William heart/

Nico challenged /how do you know he didn’t break mine/

Jake /come on, he fell hard for you. He won’t throw that away/

Nico /He did, he refuses to speak to me, so don’t blame me/

Jake /you did something to start all this. It is not like him to be hostile, so out with it/

He had enough of this interrogation, “We are done here” and turned his head away as he closed his eyes trying to hold back his emotions.  Jake tried to signal him, but he ignored him and after while he left.

~***~

The next few days William felt like he was encase in a lead coat that drained him and made him feel so cold, even as the weather turned warmer. He resolutely did not look over at the Italian, but he felt him like a beacon. His eyes followed him where ever he moved.  He wasn’t sure if he was the spot light followed by Nico or if Nico was the spot light following him.

He watched sullenly as Piper and Leo came into the ward. They were laughing, something that definitely drew attention these days. He could not help but watch from across the room where he was preparing to replace an IV bottle. First Piper hugged the upright and grimly _smiling_ Nico. Then Leo took a turn to hug him and the blonde tensed, unbidden he glowered.  _That jumped up little prick better get his hands off my Nico._ The next moment his stomach sank, _he isn’t mine anymore._

Leo smiled and apparently told jokes with Piper translating, because Nico gave a _wide smile_ and _laughed_. Then Leo hugged Piper, pulled out a small bag, and took something black out of it. Piper looked a bit green he hung the string like item in front of Nico’s face. _Black licorice, that bastard, Nico’s favorite. Where the hell did he get it?_

William turned pale and weak as Nico used his tongue to grab the black rope. His knees gave out and he abruptly sat down into the bed side chair trying to get his hyperventilating under control. _That same nimble pink tongue had explored his wrist.  Now Leo was the one privileged to see it. He I had pushed him away. Shit! What if they had been together…._ He stared, but he didn’t hear, let alone see the celebration by the trio anymore. He was being sucked down to hell by his own demons.

~***~

Will did his best to hide his distress when he came home. He could tell Katie knew something was wrong just by her look. She deflected attention from him at dinner, but Lucy was persistent. She wanted news of Nico.

“I’m not his nurse anymore.” William responded flatly.

“Please can I meet him?” Lucy asked eagerly.

Katie answered, “Will has had a long day. Let him rest.”

“He can after he says I can meet Nico.” Lucy insisted.

“You are too young to visit the hospital and you know it, so leave him alone now, sweetie.” Katie deflected.

Will practically didn’t speak all through dinner. Afterwards he went over bills at his dad’s old roll top desk in what was now his room. It took a lot of concentration and the girls wouldn’t interrupt him.  Mostly he looked forlornly at the small Knick knacks in the cubby holes and pictures on the bulletin board. All the proof of his missing family and that he had once been a child. It felt so far away now. He was disconcerted when Katie tapped him on the shoulder.

She stood over him with her hands on her hip, reminiscent of a mother scolding a child. “William what happened?”

William dismissed her out of habit, “Don’t worry about it Katie. I’ll be fine.”

“Don’t even pretend with me.”

“You can’t help me.”

“I’m sixteen now William. Stop treating me like a little girl.”

He was determined not to mar her innocence with his perversion, “Sixteen is not an adult, Katie. You should enjoy your last two years of childhood.”

She crossed the line from irritated to infuriated, “Damn it, it is war time. Nobody gets to be a child. Would you stop being a martyr?”

“I’m not, I just want to you have a normal life.” He countered blandly as possible so as not to madden her any more.

So she step it up to furious, “William, you aren’t protecting me from anything when you can’t even function.” Then her face transformed into a beseeching gaze, “I’m here and I’m strong. Please lean on me. I’m older than you were when….”

He cut her off and huffed back defensively, “That’s not the point and you know it.”

She fumed, “I think it is. You feel like you are alone, but I’ve _always_ had your back. You don’t have to be alone anymore.”

He shut her out, “This isn’t about our family. It is personal, so leave it alone.”

She went quite for a moment and he wanted this to be the end. She took a deep breath before wretchedly declaring “William, I know more about this then you think. Trust me. Let me in.” That caught his attention and he looked quizzical at her.  She quickly went for the throat. “What happened with Nico?”

He narrowed his eyes, she was way too smart for her own good. “Katie we are not talking about this,” He said flatly.

Her imploring was eloquent as she said, “William I know and I still love you. I hate seeing you in pain and I have a world of strength _you_ gave me. I can help you.” 

William blinked and starred. He was stunned at how grown up she was. All this time he thought of her as playing the adult. He still called her out, “So what is with you? Why are you so interested in my personal problems? We’ve had long discussions about the futility of love and how it ruined our lives.”

She looked away and bit her lip nervously, “Yes, well I’ve recently changed my mind.”

Thinking the worst he bellowed, “WHAT? Have you been….”

She rushed to counter, “NO, No, no. Calm down I haven’t.”

She waited until he was under control from the wave of incensed anger before saying, “William, _you_ changed my mind. I know you very well and I know you have come alive since you met _him_. You’re a better person with _him_ in your life.”

At the word ‘him’ he began to panic, “Wait, what do you mean?”

She placated, “William I know you are homosexual and it is alright.”

He gaped like a fish unable to speak and she went on, “William you give and give, but keep so little for yourself.  Since him you _shine_ like the sun now that your heart is full. You are a better brother, a better father, and a better nurse without even trying. So now I see that our mother would have been a shadow of herself without father. As much as I wish she was here, it would have come at a high price.”

He retreated into righteous anger, “How can you say that? She left me, _us,_ children alone in the world.”

Katie was composed and calmly stated, “Yes that was wrong. I don’t mean that I’ve forgiven her. I just don’t think she was weak anymore. I think she was strong to not live a comprised life.”

William paused in pensive silence while he mulled Katie’s words over. He saw her in a new light. Now she really was a woman, an equal, and an ally. He had been selling her short.

Reluctantly he spoke, “Alright, I’ll spill. Nico was melancholy when I came in a few days ago he said I was better off without him and I lost it. I blew up and vilified everything. I told him about mother deserted us when I was fifteen, how Lee died on me, and how I closed up because I couldn’t take ‘it’ happening again.”

“William, I know, I know.” She soothed as she stroked his arm.

“So, I told him to f--- off. Then when he tried to apologize later I wouldn’t let him. He’ll never speak to me again and I would deserve it. I’m so messed up I can’t even accept an apology.” He despaired.

“He well. Trust me, you are worth it.”  She hugged him tightly as if she could shield him from the world. William reeled at her words and even more at her acceptance of him. _How can she accept me?_ He wondered, but he did not doubt her sincerity.

They laid on the bed side by side talking until late into the night. He felt better, but it still seemed he would never be able to win Nico back.  He just couldn’t sleep at the thought.  Katie finally had him lay his head on her chest and she sang a lullaby her mother had loved.  William closed his eyes as saw his mother doing the same when he was small.  He felt the warmth of her unconditionally love take hold inside his heart as he finally nodded off. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little teaser: Any guesses what Piper, Leo and Nico were talking about? You’ll find out next time. 
> 
> On terms, in this chapter William thinks of his homosexual as a perverted, but this is just repeating period specific ideas especially when talking to his little sister about it.


	17. Vehement Appeal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Nico get visitors and news)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /text/ refers to Morse code  
>  _Italic_ refers to thoughts

Over the next couple of days Nico practiced sitting up, and tried to stay that way as much as possible. It was hard without using his hands, but at least he could follow William’s progress around the room. It was an acute torture to see him so cold and remote. He had noticed that the man almost never to looked his way, but sooner or later he would cool down. All he had was time and he could wait.

He was brooding and scowling at William’s broad back when the blonde turned to the entrance before glancing toward Nico. Nico quickly stared out the window, so as not to be caught spying on him. He braced himself since he correctly surmised that someone was coming to see him.  _Could it be the specialist Dr. Quintus spoke of?_

He was pleasantly shocked when Piper and Leo came into view and he forced a smile onto his face. They each greeted him with hugs. Piper looked confident but with a hint of trepidation in her eyes.  Leo looked glad but, he also had something else in his look. _Maybe, wistfulness, how odd._ Piper immediately marveled at his vision and ability to sit up.

Piper /You look so much healthier and stronger. It is quite dramatic what a week has done for you/

Nico decided to signal, /If only I didn’t feel so fragile/

Leo bobbed and nudged Piper with his nervous energy as he spoke to her. She gave him a short reply before turning back to Nico.

Piper /Leo says you are, quote ‘a spawny bastard who looks better than any CAN-RAF basket case has a right to’ and he wants me to get on with our news/

She let her shoulders drop before going on and Nico mentally inserted her heavy sigh /Jason gave me a big going away gift and I’m going to need your help with it/ Nico gave her a perplexed look.

Piper grimaced slightly before putting on a soft smile and signaled /I just found out yesterday that I’m…expecting a baby/

At that Nico smiled widely for the first time in days. “Really, when?” And he laughed. Piper gave him a tense grin. Then he remember the crying last time and it all clicked into place. 

Piper /December. We both wanted children and he wanted you and Leo to be god parents if…/ she stopped looking regretful.

Nico’s face went round in surprise. He would have liked to put a hand on her shoulder, but settle for saying, “I’d be honored.” 

She gave a small grateful nod and Leo jump in to speak to her. Leo gave her a short hug and had her translate for him.

Piper /Leo says ‘I told the beauty queen we would be there every step of the way’/ Then she added /Nico, don’t tell Leo, but I’m scared/

Nico looked into her eyes seeing the distress and he knew what to say.

Nico /Piper, I saw what was left of my hands yesterday. They won’t ever be the same and my deafness is permanent. I’m terrified, but I’m not giving in to it. You can do this, we can do this. I will recover what I can and live without the rest. I will be there to help. We’ll have a little Jason and he’ll be our joy/

She hugged him tightly while Leo chattered on.  After she backed away Leo pulled out some black licorice out of a paper bag.  Piper looked a little green, but Nico didn’t notice in his amazement. Since the war started candy was impossible to find.

Nico said, “How in the hell did you get that?”

Piper translated while Leo exaggerated his expressions /I have connections. I traded some washing machine repair to a general’s wife to get some of her personal stash. Then when Piper gave me the news, I used my amazing skills to worm a jeep out of the motorcade, thank you very much/

“You’d better get some of that in my mouth or else,” Nico warned teasingly.

Leo sniggered and dangled the licorice just out of reach. Nico quickly lashed out with his tongue and grabbing the candy.  He smiled at Leo with the licorice hanging out of his mouth. Leo looked stunned for a split second before he relaxed back into a laughing smile. They joked and laughed for the next half hour mulling over old times and eating candy. Before they left both Leo and Piper gave him another hug. Pipers came with a message ‘thank you, you helped, we can do this,’ signaled on his shoulder.

He could not help but smile, Jason and Piper had a child on the way. It seemed guaranteed that Jason, the golden boy, and Piper, a beauty queen, would have the most amazing child ever. And he would be there all the way.  He envisioned a smaller version of Jason and himself acting out pretend sword fights, just like he did so long ago. He even forgot to follow William with his eyes as he dreamed about what would be.

~***~

That evening Dr. Quintus brought over the specialist and spoke to him while they examined his hands and surprisingly his knee. Dr. Quintus was appalled by the change in the left hand and asked what happened.

Nico quipped back coolly, “A slight mishap during a bandage change.”

Dr. Quintus frowned and wrote out /It is unacceptable for a nurse to be this careless/

Nico’s heart sank, he would not let _him_ get in trouble over this. He answered in a contrite voice, “It was my fault, I accidently kicked him while he was changing bandages” Dr. Quintus raised an eyebrow, but made no further comment. 

The specialist on the other hand had a lot of questions. Many hypothetical as if he was trying to judge his mental state. It was out of character for him to think so carefully about each question, but he had something to look forward to now.  He tried to make it clear he was ready and willing to do whatever it took to recover.

Next the doctor told him about treatments in his neat precise and rapid script. He said the structure of his hands was mostly intact.  Surgery would be needed primarily to repair the skin and some muscle. It would consist of two or three operations and considerable pain, but the long term prognosis was good.  He would recover most of his hand motion. His knee might need surgery and he would likely limp, but he did not see a reason he would not be able to walk on his own again. Then he told him that they would have to make special arrangements for his deafness, but he thought they would be able to move him to Queen Victoria Hospital in about a week.

Nico nodded glad of the prognosis. He would have hands and be able to walk. He mentally shuddered at the word deafness. _It’s permanent._ Of course he knew that it was likely, but the way they didn’t even consider any treatment was depressing. Then another shriller thought jumped up to greet him, as the doctors were walking away and the nurse replaced his bandages. _Wait, I cannot leave, Will is here._ That brought him down from his glorious visions of his recovery.

~***~

He had to make up with William before he left. It was strange, but now that he was full of a cool headed determination, he could think clearer. He asked himself, _what was something only William could do that would get him closer to me?_

In the morning he had it.  As soon as he saw his nurse he asked for help to use the latrine. She looked doubtful. He countered saying, “Dr. Quintus himself wants me up and moving around as much as possible.” She stared at him appraisingly before leaving to ask for help. As he expected, she preferred to let a man take care of that function.

Next thing he knew William was beside him and he seemed less confrontational, but was still every bit as distant.

Cautiously he said, “Thanks for coming Solace.”

William pursed his lips and signaled through his gown /sit up so I can get you on the wheel chair.  I’ll put my arms under yours from the back. You need only to balance on your good leg, but l’ll hold your weight. Trust me, I won't let you fall/

He did as he was told and was soon sitting in the wheel chair with a blanket over his legs. His right leg was stretched out straight and his hands were on a pillow in this lap. It was almost fun to be riding through the ward, almost.

He never would have guessed just sitting on a toilet would be so satisfying. He wasn't sure how Will did it but, he had been discrete and allowed him some privacy even though he had to be carried to and from the latrine.

As they reached the hospital hallway, William slid his hand onto his bare chest. Nico flinched in surprise and he drew back his hand, placing it on top again. The younger man frowned, disappointed.

William /I have a place I want to show you/

Nico nervously replied, "Alright." He wished he could see his face, all he could image was the cold angry man of the pass couple of days wanting to berate him some more. Still if he started speaking first he might have a chance to say his piece. They took several turns before getting on the ornate windowed elevator. William had a short discussion with the operator before they went up to the top floor.

As soon as they got off the elevator, Nico whistled. They came into a large empty space ringed in glass. It was an observatory on the roof. The room consisted of a bare tiled floor with a glass dome covered over by camouflage netting.  Even bare it was still stunningly lavish with its scrollwork window panes and baroque columns. The slow drizzling rain dribbled down the windows, but it did not hide the vibrant gardens four floors below.

William rolled him up to the large window and put on the brake. He gazed out over the garden thinking about how bright it looked in contrast to the gray sky. William stood beside him and put his hand on Nico’s chest and the Italian's heart started pounding fast.

William / This was a Victorian sanatorium for the rich suffering from tuberculosis. They brought them outside for fresh air, but in bad weather they stayed in here with the flowers. I'd love to see this full of flowers again.  I suggested bringing patients up for air and a view, but that is too frivolous for times such as this/

Nico said awed, “This is beautiful.” His gaze lingered on the garden trying to see the extent of it and trying to find the places William had picked flowers for him. He lingered in that thought rather than think about the unapproachable man standing beside him.

After a few long minutes, William stepped forward and turned to put himself between Nico and the window. Nico’s nerves wound up at the sight of his crossed arm and callous doubtful expression.

He jumped to speak thinking he may not get another chance, “Solace, if you are just going to tell me off don’t bother. I want to talk to you, but if you won’t fucking listen tell me.” He sounded a lot more defensive than he had meant to.

Still William made no sign.  He softened his tone and all his insecurities came with it, “It’s just… I can’t take another… shut down…” He faded out looking down, not wanting to admit just how much it still hurt. He stared down at the rain gutter under the window for an indeterminate time.

Finally he felt a hand on his chest and he tensed expecting the worst.

William /I’m listening/ And he retreated back into his distant cross armed stance.

He still couldn’t look at his face, but he start talking. In a wary voice he began, “I’ve been thought hell the past few days without you. I thought waking up injured was bad, but this was worse. This time I knew the desolation of being alone and… ”At that he paused. He had to know if William felt anything at hearing his next words. Slowly he raised his eyes to look at William, trying to ignore his tight throat and trembling limbs. “…. Losing your affection.” William let his hands drop to his side and he looked baffled, but not hostile. In a flash Nico realized he was stunned.

That tiny crack in the man’s inhospitable façade gave him enough encouragement to go on, “I should not have pushed you away. It was just… I was devastated after seeing my hands. They were horrible, claws would be better. It made me irrational so, um, I just lashed out.” He ended morosely. William’s face was somewhere between displeased and sympathetic. In the pause he still made no attempt to enter into the conversation.

Nico went on, “I did at least learn something about myself the past two days. I’ve never really taken a stand about anything in my life. I just let the wind blow me wherever it would trying to protect myself from feeling anything.  After Bianca died I went into the RAF specifically hoping I would find my end in the air. I was fifteen but all my papers said seventeen and it was enough to get in even with my small size. Then with Percy and now with you, I never took a risk. I let you come to me, even though I wanted you every bit as much.” He gulped trying to clear the sob trying to escape his throat. William’s looked was attentive, but not surprised. He distantly understood that William had known his real age all along.

“William, I care very deeply for you. Much more than I should. If you think you could just want me again, I promise I will prove it to you every day. Just… Please… let me back into your life. I’m no prize, I will make stupid mistakes, and get irrationally angry, but I am sincere….” The last word just softly ended as he bowed his head. All his mixed emotions seemed to ambush him, the anguish at his rejection, a flood of strong feelings, and fear that his reply would stay the same. He kept his eyes down trying to hold back his tears.

William lifted his chin gently with two trembling fingers. Nico steadfastly kept his eyes down. The blonde laced his hand under his gown to signal as Nico’s heart beat in staccato.

William /I really think you should be demanding I apologize. I would not blame you for never wanting to speak to me again / Nico let his eyes slowly move up to William. He was leaning in toward him fondly, eye’s regretful. 

William /I meant it when I said I was fractured. I’ve been abandoned and I’m so defensive that I vindictively blocked every attempt you made to apologize. I really don’t know how to do this. I know I’ll make many more mistakes/ He leaned down to kiss the tears off his left cheek with slightly trembling lips. Nico winced, surprised at his touch.

William /You just make me feel so much. I can’t keep up. The only thing I can promise is I will always come back for you. I need you. Please give me a chance to win you back/

Nico blinked as he processed his words and tried to still his hopeful tears.  He looked into his gentle eyes still hovering just above his face. He felt more than he could ever put into words, so he didn’t try. Nico lifted his arms to awkwardly wrap around the blonde’s broad back with his hands out and he pulled William down into their first kiss.

When their lips met he melted automatically closing his eyes. The soft gentle pressure was heavenly, but he could do better. He turned his head and slid his tongue into the blondes opening mouth. He explored and tasted his flowery breath. He pulled at his tongue drawing it into his own mouth. When they had no more breath, they broke apart panting and smiling. 

William smiled like the sun as he leaned back slightly, but not enough to remove Nico’s arms from around him. He took off Nico’s glasses gently placing them in his lap. He put a hand on each wheel chair arm rest to support himself as he leaned forward again.  He started at Nico’s forehead trailing light kisses over his eyes, nose and cheeks. He closed his eyes as he explored Nico’s face with his lips. 

Nico pouted, “I need to see your eyes.”

He again dragged William down. This time Nico lingered tasting his lips before exploring his mouth again. William relinquished all control to him and he took full advantage of it. He stroked the roof of his mouth with his tongue and saw William’s eyes dilate, blown away. He smiled into the kiss doing it again. As he moved out he pulled on the others lower lip. Again they separated flushed and gasping.

William stared at him with a hungry look in his eyes. Then he attacked him nibbling along his jaw, tracing a pattern to his ear and diving down the sensitive skin of his neck. Nico moaned wantonly as he nipped his way down along Lucy’s necklace to his collar bone. They broke part as the blonde started chuckling. He moved his right hand and snaked it between them to signal.

William /You are very loud/

Nico dazed replied laughing, “Fuck me, I lost track. My volume control is gone, remember.”

William /Oh, I like it… It’s just, as much as I don’t want to, we should get back/

Nico was unconcerned, “Why, so I can sit in a bed. This is a lot more fun.”

William /I don’t disagree, but… If someone should look for us or wonder about the noise…/

Nico frowned slightly, “If we must, but we are so coming back.  This afternoon maybe?”

William /Any time you want, boyfriend/

Nico put on a lazy smile before pulling him down for one last lingering kiss. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Slang Dictionary~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
> Basket Case – permanently unresponsive, losing all limbs, or a sustained coma  
> CAN-RAF -Canadian in the RAF  
> Spawny – Lucky  
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End Dictionary~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
> Please tell me what you think of this one.  
> Thank you for your comments and kudos,  
> Anne


	18. Priority Shift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Nico makes unexpected adjustments as he prepares to change hospitals.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /text/ refers to Morse code  
>  _Italic_ refers to thoughts

William reread the clipboard and scowled. The orders didn’t make sense. He had only been gone two days, so when did these orders come in? Why was he being given so much physical therapy?  He was nowhere near ready to be released.  That was when physical therapy usually ramped up. He looked over at Nico briefly to check he was still asleep.  He grumbled as he left to get his file.

It took a while to find, it was on the clerk’s desk. Then it took about a while to convince her to let him read it. He had to sit just outside the office door and he only had twenty minutes.  He found what he was looking for right on top.  Nico was being transfer to Queen Victoria Hospital, 26 miles outside of London in less than a week. He slumped devastated, _No, I can’t lose him so soon._

He disconsolately brooded for so long that a passing nurse asked if he was alright. He answered automatically and wondered how much of his time had already expired. He focused on his task and quickly found the specialist’s report. He devoured the report anxiously, before returning the file with a curt thank you.

Why was this so upsetting? He was truly happy he was getting the best treatment possible and he knew Dr. McIndoe* was his best chance to fully recover use of his hands. Conversely his chest constricted in dread at the prospect of such a long absence. It was a minimum of four months. _What if he forgets me?_

~***~

Once he finally got a hold of himself he went to see Nico. He was sitting up and stretching out his shoulders. William approached by softly touching his back, startling the boy and he dropped his arms abruptly.

William /So you are in a hurry to leave? / He cringed thankful the brown eyed man couldn’t hear the bitter tone he would have surely used if speaking aloud.

Nico purred, “I’ll go anywhere with you.” Conversely he did notice his stoic face. “What happened?” he questioned.

He focused on their morning on the roof top and smiled mischievously /let’s get somewhere more private/

Soon the elevator doors were closing on the observatory. It had stopped raining and now the sky was a bright clear blue with scattered soft white clouds. He came around to Nico’s side and knelt down so they were eye to eye. He put his hands into Nico’s soft hair and pulled him into a kiss. He felt a desperate longing to be close to him. Next thing he knew he was tightly grasping Nico’s head and pressing harshly into his lips. _Am I trying to devour him?_ He backed off as soon as he realized just how rough he had been and blushed ashamed. The Italian seemed unfazed at his treatment.

He kept one hand in his hair and he hovered face to face. Nico gasped out, “What is it Will?”

William /I’m sorry… I just found out you are being transferred in six days/

Nico casually answered, “That soon, I hoped it would take longer.”

William /when were you going to tell me about it? /

He was irritated, “What? This is only the second time we’ve spoken since I found out.”

William /Um, sorry, I just…I’ll miss you/ He followed that statement up with careful but long lingering kiss. Nico answered back with his own fervent kisses.

Finally they paused and Nico said, “I know it will be hard to be apart, but really it’s not like I’m in danger.”

The blonde thought about the risks of surgery, that he didn’t dare mention. Then there was the random risk of air raids. Besides in his experience when people left, they never came back. He felt a creeping chill curl up his spine and it made him shiver.

William /Well maybe not, but I’ve never been lucky with goodbyes/

Nico softly gazed into his worried face, “I’m not that easy to get rid of. You are stuck with me now, I have something to prove, remember?”

William still felt the chill, but it lessened a bit as he looked into the honest warm chocolate eyes and kissed him again. He could not get enough of kissing him. He put the worry away in a small tight ball in his stomach and focused on getting the most out of these last few days with him.

~***~

Later that afternoon he went to speak with Dr. Chiron. He made his case for staying with Nico as a translator. The doctor looked keenly at him and said, “This is the same man you off loaded on another nurse Tuesday?”

William was caught off guard, he never inspects duty rosters, “Um, we had a little disagreement, but we have sorted that out. Anyway, you know how risky a long surgery can be. I know him better than anyone. It will help him to have me there.”

Dr. Chiron raised his eyebrow and tilled his head, “William you may be able to help him, but I worry about things going _too_ far. I’m responsible for the whole hospital. I cannot have staff and patients thrown into disorder over petty arguments.”

William’s heart sank, _he makes it sound so bad. Does he suspect us? He couldn’t know could he?_

Dr. Chiron went on, “I want to speak to Nico. Please bring him here at 1000 tomorrow.”

The blonde paled but, kept his eyes down, and answered promptly, “Yes, sir.”

~***~

After his work hours were over he went and sat with Nico. He put his hand on his chest, but did not even try to say anything. He was still in shock over his leaving and the conversation with Dr. Chiron didn’t help.  He sat still and quietly gazed at Nico. Gentle brown eyes met his and held him enthralled.

After a long while Nico said, “I have some good news.”

William gave him a puzzled look.

He answered, “I’m going to be a godfather.”

The blonde was nonplus /what? /

He smirked at his confusion, “Piper is expecting. Due in December.”

William /Jason’s child, really? And she wants you to be a godparent? /

He grinned, “Yeah, little old me. And it was Jason who asked for me. I can’t believe anyone would let me help care for a child, but I have a lot of Jason stories to share.”

William /Wonderful! You’ll be good, you’ll see. Besides I’ll help. I know far too much about raising children/ His expression went sad and regretful.

He laughed, “I see myself as more emotional and financial support instead of a babysitter. That can be your job.”

William / And how exactly will _you_ provide financial support? /

He gave him a smirk and teased, “Now I see you want me for my money.”

William /You have money? /

Nico laughed, “That got your interest. Not to put too fine a point on it, but my parents left me and Bianca a tidy Swiss trust fund.”

He grinned back, /if I knew that I would have confessed sooner. Now you’ll never get rid of me/ he laughed again and the other joined in. He hadn’t really thought about the brunette’s future, but this was a relief. He would need it whenever he finally got out of the hospital.

~***~

William was in early and dithering around him with nervous energy.  Vaguely Nico wondered if maybe the money did mean something to him. He could care less about it and had wanted to give it away when he was younger and still blamed his father. That was before he learned the truth. Now he knew enough of life to be a more sympathetic, furthermore, he was a lot more pragmatic.

The mysterious behavior was solved when William told him what was on the agenda for today.  A morning meeting with Dr. Chiron and a visit from his sisters.  He explained his unsettling meeting with Dr. Chiron. Nico wasn’t intimidated by the doctor like the nurse seemed to be. He wasn’t intimated by anyone.

He wondered aloud, “Why would your sisters want to meet me? I’m nothing to them.”

William /On the contrary, Lucy is dying to ‘talk’ to you, Ellen wants to meet a real radio operator, and Katie um… knows…. And wants to meet you/

He angrily replied, “You told your sixteen year old sister?”

William’s face burned in embarrassment /I didn’t ‘tell’ anyone. Apparently, I’m an fucking open book, because she just knew/

He tried to glower back, but it just seemed to turn into a smirk and he laughed. At that William seemed to relax slightly, but he was still jumpy.

Soon he was rushing him through a breakfast of oatmeal.  He was spooning the food too quickly when he stopped dead. It was long enough that Nico asked, “William” He quickly gave him the spoonful and set down the bowl, so he could signal.

William /I think I could give you a bath. In a real tub I mean/

Nico eagerly answer, “Really, even with the bandages?”

William /It will just be a bit awkward for you. I do it all the time with traction pulleys to keep bandaged limbs out of the water. It may be tiring so I’ll be quick.  Also, we’ll have to skip the observatory today. Are you still up for it?

Nico answer immediately, “yes!”

It felt so nice just to be in the water. The hair washing alone had him humming pleasantly to himself.  Even if he did feel like a marionette puppet with strings on three of his limbs.  Baths were not easy to come by even for the airmen safe on home ground. In the barrack showers were all you could get. The last time he had a bath he had been on leave with Percy at a luxury hotel. They hardly left the room for two days.

The worst part was the lack of privacy. He had a curtained off tub, but it was a communal bathing room in which several tubs were occupied as evident by the drawn curtains. With William hands all over him it was all he could do to not moan, let alone keep from getting aroused. William smiled at him with sultry eyes and, damn, he was already getting hard just having his shoulders washed.

William /You are so sexy/

He rolled his eyes and almost laughed. Surely the blonde must be teasing him, he was all bandages. It did take the edge off and he gaze off at the ceiling trying to keep his mind clear. Then he noticed the nurse’s fingers trembling slightly as they ran along his hips and down thighs and that brought out a blush on his face. _Fuck, he was serious_ , only a nurse could think a man with three out of four limbs unworkable was sexy. Then he thought about William’s lack of experience, his tentative behavior when kissing, and his apology for being the slightest bit urgent yesterday. Even now, while bathing him, he was carefully ignoring his physical reaction to all the attention. He was innocent, and most likely a virgin. He felt his heart melt. _I need to be careful and take it slow with him._   

~***~

Dr. Chiron was an imposing middle aged man with more hair greying brown hair on his face than should be possible, considering the lack of it on his head. His eyes were the type that could X-ray you. Nico gazed back at him impassively, he knew his type. He would wait and see how this played out.

The doctor held up a notecard, /I’m pleased with your progress and glad to be sending you to Queen Victoria for treatment. How as your stay here been? /

Nico confronted him directly, “I’m not too please with your treatment or lack thereof for disabled patients. Especially when said patients are unable to respond for themselves.”

He looked ashamed as he wrote his answer, /Yes, I am sorry about that. It is an area that I have been pondering and will address with new patients. Luckily Mr. Solace, one of our best, was assigned to you.  You appear quite attached to him/

“We have become friends,” he replied warily with a cold stare.

Dr. Chiron /Good enough friends to have a heated argument that disturbed the staff assignments/ He countered and his look implied more.

He gazed back steadily with a deadpan expression, “I’m sorry about that. I was understandable upset after seeing my injured hands. In my dismay I lashed out at the nearest person around. He became argumentative. ” 

Dr. Chiron cocked an eyebrow before holding up the next card, /Interesting, because I would call him one of our most level headed nurses/

He answered back blandly but truthfully, “I have a way with people. Bastard was the term most often applied to me by my fellow airmen and ground crew.”

Dr. Chiron /So, maybe it would be a bad idea to send William with you as an interpreter for your initial operation? /

_What?_ He hurried to answer, “No, I mean yes…” Pausing to regaining some composure he went on, “I think he is an ideal choice since I have promised to keep my bastard tendencies in check around him.” The doctor tilled his head and raised his eyebrow again, _damn he is taunting me._

Dr. Chiron /Considering the oversights of your early treatment, I would like to make amends as best I can. So, if you request a translator to come with you at least through the surgery I can hardly deny it/

Nico fought to keep his expression blank as he took a few extra seconds before replying, “Yes, I could use an advocate for something as serious as a surgery and William is a trusted friend.”

Dr. Chiron /I feel I must acquiescence to your request, but know this is not permanent. He can stay away from here no more than a week. In addition, his consent is required and he is the sole care taker for his family /

Nico was truly grateful, “I understand and thank you very much sir.”

~***~

Nico watched as the siblings entering the ward. They’d looked idyllic together, if they weren’t in a ward full of wounded soldiers. They stair stepped in heights by age and looked very much alike. Katie and Ellen had dusty blonde with a light wave and slim broad shouldered swimmer builds.  Lucy and William both had bright blonde curly hair. Lucy was cute as a button with her Shirley Temple style pig tails and pink pinafore dress.

Less easy to define was what made them feel like a family. It could be the way they tightly gathered into a group or the unspoken words that traveled between them through their eyes. William was holding Lucy’s hand, holding her back, but she deftly twisted out of his hand and ran ahead. He turned to give Katie an exasperated eye roll that she answered with pursed lips and a knowing nod.

Lucy ran up to Nico’s bedside and planted herself in front of him.  She fixed him with a bright smile and reached out immediately for the skull ring. She had dimples just like Williams. He swooned, _so adorable_. She rested her hand on his forearm and started signing.

Lucy /Where did you get the ring? Is it really a pirate treasure? Are you a pirate? /

Nico laughed, “Whoa, one at a time.”

Lucy interrupted /No, you need to signal me. It is our secret code/

Nico whispered, “Alright watch my left toes.”

Nico /My big sister got it for me when I was about your age. She bought it from a street vendor in Venice, who said he got it from a pirate. No, I’m not a pirate. Don’t believe the stories William tells you/ 

Her eye went wide /how did you know about the stories? /

Nico /I know many things. I even know how to sword fight/

Her eyes went wide again and he could almost hear the squeal.  Katie appeared to be scolding her for making so much noise. At the same time Ellen was earnestly speaking to William.  It was a typical noisy family scene made eerie for Nico by its utter silence. He frowned slightly at that left out feeling, but remember Lucy and grinned.

Nico said hello to everyone as he signaled to Lucy. /See I can send a message and talk at the same time/

It was his party trick and it was always good for a few beers. He next caught William smirking at him and he convivially smiled back as he continued to talk.

Over the short visit he answered every one of Lucy’s questions and gave Ellen enough facts about radio operator duties on a Halibag to make her smile. He liked being around the girls, it remind him good times with Bianca. Katie stood back and watched with her arms hugging her chest and lips compressed tightly together. He was not alarmed that she was sizing him up, but surprisingly, he was concern about her opinion of him. In an instant, he knew that he wanted her to like him. At the same time butterflies alighted in his stomach, he didn’t know how to be likeable. She appeared to soften slightly after as he told Lucy stories of his epic pirate adventures with his mother and Bianca. Then he had Lucy dig the last of the licorice out of his bag under the bed and they treated the candy like buried treasure as they shared it out. William stood behind them pleased and glowing at his girls.  

Just before they left Lucy told him /I wish you were coming home with us instead of Jake. He is too loud/

Nico /Me, too, but William wouldn’t want to hear that/

As stressful as answering a barrage of questions and trying to please Katie had been Nico found it surprisingly pleasant to be with a family again.  For so long it was just Bianca and him, then nothing. If only they weren’t all going home to _Jake_. That leaden feeling settling in his abdomen told him just how much the blonde meant to him. He didn’t like it, but he knew better than to say anything.  William said nothing was there and he had to trust him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Sir Archibald McIndoe was a real plastic surgeon that worked at Queen Victoria Hospital to heal and rehabilitate many seriously burned airmen and other soldiers. He pioneered many innovative techniques. My portrayal is all fiction and is not intended to represent the real person.


	19. Domestic Alterations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (William deals with Jake moving into his home)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** Warning I've increased the rating to E and this chapter has male slash after the second break ****  
> /text/ refers to Morse code  
>  _Italic_ refers to thoughts

* * *

 

What use to be a family of four, became five with the addition of Jake. William didn’t realize how much he relished the relaxed comfortable atmosphere until it was gone. Lucy had been pouting ever since she left the hospital, well more accurately Nico. Katie was eager to impress Jake, so she tried to dress up her ‘Everything Stew’ with a side of curried carrots. Conversely during the meal she kept giving him disparaging looks every time he put his elbows on the table. Ellen gave him reproachful looks, too although hers were most likely due to his imprecise use of the English language.  

He could have handled his sisters’ mood, but he had to deal with Jake, too. He was boisterous, obsequious, and loud, but the worst part was the unctuous simpering directed at Katie.

Jake smirked at Katie, “This is the best stew I’ve ever had. It’s hard to believe you made this on rations.”

“Well I just threw it together,” She shyly smiled at him.

He winked and leaned closer, “Then you are quite talented and will make a wonderful wife someday.”

She fluttered with pleasure at the attention while William rolled his eyes.  He nudging him under the table, but it made no difference. He through it more likely he was just playing with her, so the part that really bothered him was the way she ate it up. He saw her beauty and grace, but her slim frame and heavy jaw often categorized her as plain to his friends. She had never mentioned any boy taking an interest in her, but had expounded on the futility of romantic love many times. 

After a while Lucy seemed to resign herself to dinner with Jake. Then he started exchanging exasperated glances with her and she had a hard time not giggling. Ellen looked scandalized, but Jake and Katie didn’t even notice.

~***~

Later that evening he was again annoyed. He was stuck with Jake as a roommate, but it was the best option. He had the largest room and after the way he flirted with Katie he was glad of it. After he finished in the bathroom and checked in on the girls, he opened the door to his room to find Jake reading. I was cramped in the room with two beds. He gave Jake the larger one that his parents had used and he took smaller twin bed. 

Jake turned to him as he settled into bed, “William, I’m sincerely grateful for you and your family for taking me in. You even gave me the biggest bed. Nobody has ever been this nice to me.”

“You know the service is paying us right.” William deadpanned.

“Yeah, but still. I’ve never lived anywhere so nice before. And your family is so kind to invite me in.” Jake grinned.

William grimaced, “Hey this is just an average three room flat with an average family. It is nothing special. You know, you don’t need to sweet talk us.”

“Yeah, well I just don’t know how to live like this. I grew up on the streets.”  He shift a bit uncomfortably.

“Really,” he was genuinely surprised, “Well we won’t kick you out if you are yourself.  Just make sure you edit out the swear words.” Then annoyed he said, “And please stop all the flirting with Katie.”

He chuckled nervously, “Sorry, I don’t mean to be over the top. Flirting is just an easy habit. I don’t mean anything by it.” That statement earned a glower from William.  

He censured him sharply, “Do not! Under any circumstance, play with Katie’s affections. She is not used to that type of thing.  If you hurt her …”

Jake cut him off, “Whoa, Okay.” He held up his hands as if to take an oath. “I promise to be myself and not to flirt under pain of death.”

William still glared, but softened a bit, “Yeah, I’ll keep you to that oath.” After that Jake was quiet, but he looked uncertain and pensive as he shifted uncomfortable in his bed. William went on, “Besides, she is an especially forthright person. If you kept up with false flattery you’d irritated her.”

Oddly enough Jake looked hopeful at that, “Do you really think so?”

William frowned at his eager face, but the look was tempered with a little softness in his eyes, “Yeah, but don’t forget. No leading her on.” Jake smiled and nodded. He was still exasperated, but left the conversation there. He grunted as he lifted himself up to turn his back on him in the maddeningly small bed.  

~***~

He was watching sunset in the observatory as he had done many times since he started working in the hospital.  He adored the vibrant orange sunlight that flickered oddly through the heavy Victorian window glass and camouflage netting. All the lights had been removed due to blackout regulations, so he would stay until the room had just enough remaining light for him to get to the stairwell. 

This time it was that much better because he stood facing the window with an arm wrapped around Nico’s shoulder as he sat in his wheelchair. William stole a glance at him looking at the shadows slowly moving over his face. He gave a soft contented sigh at the warm glow the setting sun gave to the man’s beautiful pale face.  At that sound Nico turned to give him a soft yet hungry look. He felt a blush bloom over his face.

He walked around to the front of the chair placing his hands on the hand rests and leaning down.  He captured Nico’s lips in a tender yet forceful kiss that he returned with vigor. He deepened the kiss and lingered over it. Soon the room turned dusky grey as the sun dipped below the horizon.

As the kiss went on it became sloppy with Nico taking control and nipping at his lips. The smaller man brought his arm’s up to encircle the blonde’s shoulders. Then he slid his arms back and he grasped his upper arms, near shoulders and pushed him back. He slowly stood never breaking the kiss and William followed tipping his head down as he stood.

A half step back and he was pinned against the window. That was when Nico began fervently kissing, nibbling and sucking his way around William’s jaw and down his neck. He held him against the wall with his elbows while his hands began to unbutton his uniform shirt. Then he worked over his collar bone as William gasped momentarily disoriented. It did not matter that the blonde was half a foot taller or 50 pounds heavier, Nico was in complete control of him and he loved it.

Nico growled, “Come on let me hear you.” He tried to stay quiet anyway, biting his lip. Nico opened his shirt and ran his fingers lightly over his broad chest drawing up goose flesh. The Italian held the blonde’s sides and rubbed his thumbs over his lower ribs. Then he trailed his tongue in a slow swirling arc to reach his right nipple.  He licked and lightly blew over the skin before settling his mouth over the raised nub.  When he sucked hard William moaned loudly, his mind hazy with lust.

He worked over the other nipple as he loosened his drawing pants and slid them down with his boxers releasing his engorged member. As soon as they were off he wedge his own hard length against his thigh.  His talented tongue followed his hair line down his torso, dipped in his belly button, and pulled back to kneel before William holding his hips firmly.

He looked up with dilated almost black eyes pleading for a taste of him. William was enraptured, he gulped and nodded slowly. He slowly lick his head eliciting a sharp whimper. When his mouth engulfed him he keened at the heavenly wet heat. The swirling tongue and alternating hard suction had him keening and gasping, “Ni—Ni—Ni--”

Heat collected and spiraled in his lower torso as every lick and suck brought him closer to the precipice. He was falling over the edge of release when he suddenly woke up in the dark. He panted and struggled to remember where he was. _Did I pass out when I came?_  

Suddenly he seized-up panicked, he knew he was in his room with Jake softly breathing in the other bed. _Oh god, no!_ He slowly got his pulse under control while all the time he chastising himself for being such a child. He reached down and felt the wetness on his pajama bottoms. He raced for the bathroom, hopeful he did not soil the bed also.

William is so ashamed he decided to just stay up and take a nice long bath before work. Unfortunately this just gave him time to dwell on his humiliation. Damn did it have to be Jake’s first night?  This was just another reason to be annoyed with his roommate. This hadn’t happened since before Lee died. Something died with him when that happened. When he looked back the two years before Nico were like walking in a never ending grey rainy day with the type of cold that seeped into your soul. Somehow after the Italian entered his life, he felt like he did after recovering from mumps as a child. He cherished every moment.  

Nico’s hungry pleading brown eyes came back to mind.  He lingered on every detail of his dream, it was so vivid and so sweet. It will be a long time before Nico would be well enough for anything like that, but maybe it was better that he had to wait. At the mere thought of going so far with him he quivered controllably in the bath.

He breathed deep and refocused on how much progress the handsome man had made in the last month. _How much different will he be when he leaves Queen Victoria?_  He’ll likely have use of hands and maybe he’ll have a limp, but he should be walking. He thought of his angry tantrum of this past week with mortification and his insecurities got the better of him, _he may not want an emotional cripple like me anymore._


	20. Improvisational

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Nico and William finally go on that date.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes:  
> /text/ refers to Morse code  
>  _Italic_ refers to thoughts

That night Dr. Quintus came for his usual examination. He started by checking his mobility and other injuries, but after that surprised Nico by settled down to talk with him.  He discussed his injuries and general treatment.

Dr. Quintus wrote out, “So, Lieutenant Angle I am here to answer your questions.”

He asked the question that had been bothering him most, “What would happen if I don’t get the surgeries?”

“Those opens sores on your hands will never heal.  Eventually you would get an infection that would lead to amputation. You need to understand that before Dr. McIndoe* pioneered his reconstructive methods amputation was the only option. Your only hope is to go to Queen Victoria.”

Nico was stunned he had no idea how serious his burns were.  He fought back the fear that he could still lose them and asked another question, “Why are surgeries going to take so long?”

“It will take several consecutive split and full thickness skin grafts. Each will take about six weeks to heal. You need to know that your concussion makes the use of anesthesia risky, so they will try to limit the number of surgeries performed. The highest risk is in the first 24 hours and that is why I urged Dr. Chiron to allow William to accompany you. I’ve seen how close you two are.” He gave him an oddly smirk, but his eyes were warm and kind. “Of course they will go over all of this with you and get your consent before any work is done.  I just think you should have some time to ponder the details.”

He was pensive considering the meaning of high risk, i.e. it could kill him.  It was that or amputate his hands. _No contest, I’ll risk the surgery._ “I’m willing to risk it.  Will I get all my hand motion back?”

He was more hesitate in this answer, “Difficult to say, it appears you still have the muscular structure to allow you to gain back most of your motion, but they won’t know for sure until they open you up during surgery.”

“What about my hearing, sight, and leg?”

“Son, let me give you the bad news first. Any hearing not recovered in the first few days is most likely permanent. The only thing medical science can do is amplify the hearing you do have. Unfortunately, you have no hearing to amplify.” He expected it, but it was still hard to have it confirmed. “The good news is your vision is coming back and as such was due to your head injury. You will likely have more recovery but may continue to need glasses. Also, your leg has no obviously damage, but the motion needs to be evaluated by an expert in detail. I cannot be sure, but it is likely you will be able to walk again. Running is a different story.”

Offhand he asked his last question, “So, when is the soonest I can come back here?”

“Nico, you will not be coming back here. You will be transferred to a recover facility and released from there.”

He was crushed and stunned. “What? I thought I’d come back.” All he could think about was leaving William.

“You’ll be in the rehabilitation phase of your recovery and will not need the intense type of care we provide. Besides we are not equipped to handle deafness.”

The Italian could only stared at him dumbfounded, it was only at this moment that he realized how comfortable he had become here _._

He gave a flat, “Oh, I see.”

The doctor smiled at him, “Nico, I am confident that you will overcome all the challenges that you are facing. I earnestly commend your courage in the face of your injuries and thank you for opening my eyes to the holes in our care. I have been going through all the records of men listed as unresponsive including those in the mental ward to assure no one has been or will be falsely diagnosed. I want to assure you that the mistake that was nearly made with your injuries will not happen again. I have developed a more systematic approach for evaluation that Dr. Chiron has approved.”

He denied any credit, “You know that William is the real hero of my story right?”

“Do not underestimate your part Nico. You effectively recovered from a concussion with no outside support. Even with unimpaired senses it is difficult to recover from the disorientation as quickly as you did. You did just that on your own and became cognizant of your environment even while under a heavy dose of morphine.  That is not something many people could do. It takes a strong presence of mind to do what you have done. William may have been the key to contacting you, but you cured yourself.” 

“Uh… Thank you?” He answered stunned.

“Please do me a favor. I would like for you to come and visit sometime when you are recovered. May god grace your way.” Dr. Quintus smiled at him and patted the top of his shoulder in the same way many would shake hands and left his bed side.

~***~

Nico knew as soon as William came in that morning that something was wrong. Not that the blonde didn’t try to cover it up, but he kept looking down or way. _He is avoiding looking me in the eye._ Then he remember that Jake’s first night was last night. He frowned and tried to dispel his doubts as fear crept up his spine. He had been well trained by Percy, don’t ask and you won’t hear anything bad. _Well fuck you Jackson_ , he thought ruefully.

He took the direct approach, “So, how was Jake’s first night as a Solace?” William’s cheeks flushed and he looked down before he signaled his superficial reply of ‘alright’. _Shit, I really wanted to be wrong._ He felt a leaden chill fill his stomach. 

He waited on edge until they were in the observatory to broach the subject. When William leaned over to kiss, him struck, “You’d better tell me what happened.” The blond leaned back stunned and shifted his gaze away chewing his lip, but made no move to signal him. Nico held his breath trying desperately to maintain his sharp glare while inside his heart felt shattered and cold.

After the longest minute of the Italian’s life William turned back to him with a flare of anger in his eyes and placed his hand up to signal. /I hate having him there. He went all flirty with Katie all evening long, but it was just a ploy to get on her good side. He flirts with all the girls, but I doubt if Katie as ever had anyone do that to her. She adored it, the bastard. If he hurts her, I’ll kill him/ Alright this was the last thing he had expected to hear. _Maybe I was just being paranoid._ And the cold was dispelled.

William /I hate having to share my room with him, but at least I know he is not bothering Katie/ _Why in the bloody fucking hell is Jake in William’s bed?_ Nico’s blood froze in a flashed when the blonde looked down shame faced and paused.

With a cold sarcastic calm he said, “Oh? What did you hate so much?”

He seemed too wrapped up in his own anger to notice his mood shift /He is talkative and snores. Can you believe he was actually relieved when I implied that he would get farther with Katie by being himself? I don’t know how that jerk got that one out of me. / While he spoke he looked at a point just over the shoulder of the browned eyed man, purposefully avoiding him.

“So you’re telling me Jake, your self-appointed protector, asked you about Katie while both of you were laying together in bed?” William looked perplexed and then appeared to chuckle.

William /What? You’re jealous of Jake? He has his own bed you dolt/

He barked back, “Solace, you can’t even look me in the face. Why?” At that the nurse started and looked him in the eye sheepishly, but did not turn away like he obviously wanted too.

William /Jake has nothing to do with that. Well next to nothing.  Um… I dreamt about you last night….You, we, well…. We were here alone… and you were healed…. You did some stuff and … I woke up… you know, wet…. That hasn’t happened in years. Then with Jake there… Luckily asleep, but still… it was all so… embarrassing/

The brunette just gawked opening his mouthed and gasping like a fish trying to parse out what he said while his blood began to flow again. _Thank heaven he’s not with Jake. Wait, he had a wet dream about me? _He snickered as the blonde’s face burned red.

Then curiosity overpowered his relief and chagrin, “Tell me what happened in the dream.”

He dropped his head and blushed as he reached for his chest to signal with a hesitant touch, / we were here watching the sunset. You stood up and pined me against the glass and….just took over…  / He looked up with a shy longing in his eyes before lowering his head again / you took me… in your mouth/ He ended keeping his head down.

_Oh god he is so shy and sexy….would he ever really let me?_ “Hum… I’d like a taste of you.….” The Italian purred. Those deep cerulean eyes looked up disarmed as a deeper blush spread over his cheeks.      

William /you’ll have to settle for kiss for now/

Nico fought to hide his disappointment as they began kissing _._

~***~

A couple of days later Nico awoke cringing at the all too familiar and painful ministration of the night nurse as she treated his hands. She had not even bothered to try and wake him. William would never have done that to him.

“Hey, don’t surprise me like that!” He groused and she looked up at him stunned and ashamed. Her lips moved in what was probably an apology then she put a hand over her mouth aghast. He gave her a cold stare. He hated the barrier between himself and others. He hated being unable to do even the most basic things for himself. The only thing that made his recovery bearable had been William. Soon he would be alone and helpless at a new hospital. He would be a faceless nameless meaningless patient with no dignity. Someone that scared and embarrassed people just like he had done to this nurse. He laid his head down and ignored her.    

He found it odd how much not being able to converse with anyone bothered him. He despised the pity showered on him as a child for being an orphan. In the RAF that had gone away, there he was a just another hardened flyboy. Now it felt like he had gone back in time, but worst this time he was lame and deaf. Two very noticeable disabilities that would have strangers gawking shocked and full of pity.

The only time he didn’t feel pitied was with William, Piper, and Dr. Quintus. Yet even that was being taken away with this transfer. At least now he understood why this was needed, but it didn’t make the prospect of never coming back any easier to take. William went on about how he elicited strong emotions I him, but he felt like it was the other way around. He was in so deep with the blonde so very fast. That was not like him at all. He was slow and cautious with his heart. Sure, he was attracted to Percy from the time he met him, but he did not let go of his feelings until they became a secret couple. Even then he admitted his love more because the kind post sex Percy had worn him down then because he wanted him to know. Even with Jason, who had felt like a big brother, for a long time he was just a friend of Percy’s.

He had only known William for a month and already he could not imagine his life without him. Doubt niggled at him, _could it just be because I need him? Would William find me as attractive when I can once again care for myself?_ How would they keep in touch? He couldn’t write and he wouldn’t dare dictate to a nurse what he really wanted to say. He didn’t even have a picture of him to take with him. A cold emptiness settled in his chest as he slipped back into an uneasy sleep.

~***~

The next few days had flown by and tomorrow would be Nico’s last day. William had arranged everything so that he would stay with him during his surgery. The hardest part had been convincing himself that it would be alright to leave Jake alone with Katie. True to his word Jake behaved brotherly and proper, yet much more like himself.  After a long serious talk with his sister, she had finally assured him that she would not be swayed into doing anything silly after a little flattery. Besides if anything did happen Ellen or Lucy would spill the beans.

Next William focused on getting all the details of their garden date just right. He had bathed and dressed Nico in his casual uniform. They left the hospital after William’s shift was over. He gave Nico a tour and settled them in his favorite small clearing with a weeping willow as dusk fell. They sat on a blanket and he had Nico propped up at just the right angle to watch the sunset as they ate a picnic dinner. 

After dinner William pulled out another blanket to wrap around him as he eased Nico down to look up at the stars starting to come out. He snuggled under the blanket with his head on Nico’s chest as they gazed up.  They talked as the moon rose high overhead casting a gentle but clear light over them. 

After one particularly long silent stretch Nico said, “I’ve never needed help from anyone. It is so difficult to accept my dependence on others. Just I want to do things myself.”

William /I thought you would know by now that I’m your extra hands. Please ask me/

He went on morosely, “That alright while you’re here, but soon I’ll be a helpless lump around cold medical staff. I can’t even do what I want with you. Even here, I hardly even feel human anymore.”

That caught his attention / what do you want to do together? /

Hesitatingly he asked, “Um, Will how do you feel about doing something more than kissing?”

The blonde turned quickly so he could look him full in the face. As he looked in his eyes it felt like his blood was on fire. Fire tempered with fear, yet those melted chocolate eyes would not take no for answer.

William /I… we…. I’m worried you may get hurt/

Nico licked his lips and huskily whispered, “Can I taste you? ....  _Please,_ William” His rational thought fizzled out, _Oh God Yes! I mean No. Maybe a little skin contact is alright as long as we are careful._

“Bring that lovely neck up here.” Nico purred as he opened his arms to hold him.  As the blonde reached up he used his forearms to try to pull him closer.

The blonde still hesitated biting his lip and did not move any closer. /If you want, but we have to have some rules. You are the one in charge. I’ll follow your orders. Keep your arms around me and ask or elbow me to stop. Agreed? / His body flushed hot as he waited for a reply.

Nico gave a devilish smirk and released him. His order was sharp, “Straddle me and get out of that bloody shirt.”

The sound of his command touch something deep inside him and he fumbled to comply as quickly as possible. The cool night air on his chest raised gooseflesh as brown eyes roved hungrily over his naked torso. 

“Bring you lips down here, now” Quick as a flash he lean into his soft plump lips. Nico completely dominated the kiss, forcing entrance into his mouth and plundering its crevices. This time seemed different; his kiss held a deeper tenor as if he could feel an electric current flowing through their lips.

Nico paused and panted out, “Take me along your jaw line to your ear.”  He blond obeyed enjoying the kisses, licks, and nibbles as Nico’s arms guided him. The trip was heavenly and excruciatingly slow. When he got to his ear he licked it and blew slightly into the canal. That caused a shiver to roll through his whole body. The talented tongue continued as William moaned wantonly. Without thought he lowered his chest to meet the warm Italian’s shirt.

The next command, “Sit up!” caught him off guard and he blinked as he complied. He did has he was told, but was still unsure, warily. 

William nervously looked into his fiery dark eyes / did I do something wrong? /

Nico winked as he snapped out an order, “Unbutton my shirt and get that collar bone down here. Now!”

As much as he wanted to, he did not linger over his olive chest with dark nipples, which he only had time to brush lightly as he positioned his collar bone over the other’s mouth. Some part of him seemed to soar as he relinquished control and he was rewarded with a strong bite then sucking on the sensitive skin just above the bone. He melted into the sensation and bliss as he sagged into the Italian’s warm chest. He was on sensation overload and only vaguely aware of Nico’s arms guiding him. At least until he took a hard nipple into his mouth and bit down sharply. A hiss escaped his mouth as he immediately felt a tongue lapping over it to ease the sting. He felt as if he was floating farther away with each sharp bite and blissful lick or suck as Nico peppered his chest in marks.   

“Lay down on me fully and let me kiss you again” He spread his legs to let William lay between them. As their bodies made contact Nico let out a long low moan of pleasure.  William gasped at the feel of their hardening lengths touching though four layers of fabric.  He held his full weight off the smaller man using his knees and elbows.  He reveled in the way Nico ground his hips into him.

Now he knew the signals and he lifted his chin while inching up to give Nico access to his neck. The sensation of his teeth grazing the skin around his Adam’s apple was exquisite. Slow he moved in a direct line down his body as the olive skinned arms pulled him up. At one point he had to move his legs to straddle Nico’s chest and he paused.

His orders were no less stern even though he was panting, “Undo your pants and slide them down.” William sat up stunned. _What the hell, he wants to go down on me?_ Nico saw his hesitation and his dilated eyes went dark and angry, “Well, why not? My mouth is not injured and I’m no virgin.” All he could do was look at him in blank astonishment, _no I am the virgin,_ he though ruefully.

Then those red bruised lips purred huskily, “ _William Please_ , I want to taste your essence on my lips.”

That did it, he moved over the side and did as he was told. He shook slightly as the hungry brown eyes stared at his hard weeping member. And the command came, “Get your belly button up here now.”

William watched in fascinated as Nico started at his belly button following his hairline down ignoring his hard length. He went down further to nuzzle his balls and the skin at the base of his penis. He mouthed and licked his way back up to his head. The blonde was breathless as he watched. His head breached Nico’s mouth and he licked a path round the foreskin, soaking up the pre-cum. He moaned loudly as he slid into the hot wet cavity.

He was so lost in ecstasy that he was afraid he might pass out. Fortunately those steady warm darkening brown eyes kept him grounded. As he took a long suck and his mind hazed, it was all he could do to watch those gorgeous dilated eyes. Nico guided him through a steady rhythm that slowly built up. He felt at the limit, breaking the water surface, over and over again as he was pushed beyond what he ever thought he could endure.

Then this lover did something impossible, he appeared to have swallowed his length and the pressure on his head was all it took for him to explode in pleasure. Still the exquisite torture went on as he sucked on his over sensitive length, milking every last drop of cum out of him.

William shook uncontrollably as Nico supported him with his arms pressed firmly into his hips.  Slowly he eased out as his member softened. He panted as he stumbled to lay on his left side, flopping his head onto his slim chest facing away from him.

~***~

Nico sighed contentedly and smiled broadly savoring the last of William’s taste on his lips. _I maybe lame and broken, but I can still make love._ _Make love. _ The phrase resonated strangely through him. His first instinct was to bush it off as nothing special.

He laughed softly saying, “No need to ask if you liked it.” He saw the disappointed slump of the figure on his chest.

He signaled shakily, / yeah, it was… Um…. Maybe I should said something, but… that was my first time/

Nico stopped laughing realizing that he had been senselessly callous. _Why would I do that to him? I was being defensive just like Percy had ingrained in me. Never again!_  

He gave him a soft protective expression made his tone gentle saying, “I’m glad it was me.”

William looked up with hurt in his crystal blue eyes that changed as he gazed at him. It melted into a comfortable warmth. _God I wished to could stroke his face_. The blonde seemed to know this, he lifted himself up for a kiss and Nico poured all his tender feelings into it. It was a long lingering kiss that he never wanted to end.  William signaled /me, too. My love/ and he began to feel like he was flying again.

_Fucking hell, this was what I had missed before. Percy took what he wanted from me and then left me diminished. Now Will makes me feel full and content in a ways that go way beyond the physical. I do love the wildly innocent, incredibly kind, and emotionally erratic blonde. Maybe, just maybe, it could work out. _

Well he damn well was not going to let a little time apart take this away. He knew he was in love and as frightening as it was to admit, he had no desire to hide it. He had already spent too much of his life in hiding. He resolved he would not let anything get in the way of their love. He would chase this man around the world if he could but have him.

Nico broke the kiss. He felt both elated and vulnerable as he gazed into the cerulean blue sky eyes, “William, I’m terrified to tell you but I have to.” He heart beat staccato as fire instead of blood thundered through his veins. “I-I love you and … I’ll fight to keep us together.” And he captured his lips again.

~*fin*~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Sir Archibald McIndoe was a real plastic surgeon that worked at Queen Victoria Hospital to heal and rehabilitate many seriously burned airmen and other soldiers. He pioneered many innovative techniques. My portrayal is all fiction and is not intended to embody the real person. 
> 
> Sorry for the long wait, but I had some writers block on the ending. Some people call it chasing plot bunnies, but to me it feels like herding cats. They all want to go different directions, they like to torture me, and they don’t play well together. I have finally corralled them and ended part one of this story.  
> I hope you have enjoyed it as much as I have. I have several willful plot cats for a part two set directly after this ends. And many more stretching well into William and Nico’s future. I’ll need a break to get my plot cats all under control, but I may have a few one shot stories set in the future before I dive into part two. Your comments and kudos have been wonderful.  
> Thank you,  
> Anne

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments. I live for them.  
> Thanks,  
> Anne


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